Think Of You
by Adriana Morgan
Summary: What happens when you realize you've fallen in love with a set of twins? **Rated M for strong sexual content. Reader discretion advised.**
1. Prologue

Love at first sight. It's an expression we hear a million times as we grow up. You see someone across a crowded room or a busy subway and BAM you're instantly in love. Personally you believe this is utter bullshit. Lust at first sight? Sure, you wholeheartedly believe in it. You're not ashamed to say that you fell in lust with every single member of the RFA the day you joined. But love? No; it's impossible to love someone without knowing who they are. And you don't just mean their outside personas that they present to everyone in world to seem "normal". Everyone has a mask they wear to hide who they truly are. Even Jumin goes home at night and utters a sigh of relief that he can finally drop that facade of being in complete control. You know; you've had enough late night conversations. He tries to hide it from you, but it slips; it's not hard to do.

Saeran was different; his mask was one of someone else's making. It was a mask that he was forced to wear for so long, with no relief that he came to believe it was really him. How many people could go through years of being drugged, tortured and brainwashed and still have any semblance of who they really are? The fact is that Saeran was molded into what he became.

Then there was Saeyoung. Seven oh Seven, God Seven, Defender of Justice, Master Seven, Luciel; the names went on and on. The man it took you eleven days to fall head over heals for. No, it wasn't love at first site; You fell in love with Saeyoung's mind long before the possibility of meeting him in person even crossed your mind. He made you laugh, he kept you company when you were alone, he went out of his way to make sure you were comfortable even if he couldn't be there personally to see to your needs. And when you finally saw him, you were already in love with him. Everything about him was precious to you and you fought like hell to make him realize he cared about you too.

In the end, you were together, as it should have been. You did your best to help him drag his brother out of the dark hole that he had been living in for so long. You did what you could to make him happy and healthy. It wasn't easy and it didn't happen overnight. But slowly, day by day, Saeran opened up to you; opened up to Saeyoung anyway. You were the reminder of the evil things he had done. He avoided you when he could and when he couldn't he did not speak to you. During mealtimes you could see him stealing quick glances your way, sorrow and regret on his face. But you three lived together peacefully. Saeyoung and you planned for the future; for a future filled with the happiness that the twins never had.

But then you did the worst thing you could have ever done; you fell in love with Saeran.


	2. The Beach

**Chapter 1: The Beach**

A/N: Title of this story inspired by 'Think of You' by A Fine Frenzy

* * *

"We're going to the beach!" Saeyoung exclaims loudly, arms outstretched in pure joy, a beatific smile plastered across his handsome face. You eye the forest green swim trunks that rest low on his hips and once again think what a good idea this day trip is. Suddenly a set of car keys fly through the air, almost hitting your husband's chest before he deftly catches them.

"Make yourself useful, asshole," Saeran grumbles rolling his shoulder with a grunt of pain. "MC and I have been loading the car for hours. I don't know why you need so much crap just to sit in a sandbox."

"Saeran is amazing, he did almost all the work," you gush, moving over to massage his aching shoulder. Instantly he recoils from your touch, taking several long strides to the other side of the room. "Oh...ok. Sorry, boundaries, I forgot. I-I'll just go grab a heat patch. No touching involved." You grin, holding your hands up in surrender.

He opens his mouth to say something but you quickly pivot on your heel and head for the bathroom, your face flaming. You forgot; he doesn't like to be touched. It's number one hundred something of things Saeran doesn't like. You smack your head to rid it of your resentful thoughts. It's not his fault that he is the way he is. _Patience_ you silently chant to yourself, opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing one of the patches, hoping it will help his discomfort. Quickly placing the half empty box back and shutting the door, you head back to the living room but pause in the hallway, hearing the twins speaking in shouted whispers.

"What the fuck, Saeran? She was only trying to help you. Is my wife's touch that repulsive to you?"

"No," Saeran's answer came out as an almost-shout, reverberating through the room.

"Got it!" You say joyfully, your volume slightly too high; hoping against hope to break the tension you've walked into.

Since you had known the twins as a unit, fights and disagreements were nothing new. At first they had been frightening but over the past year things had mellowed out for the most part. But this: this was something different. There seemed to be a permanent electrical current that was directed straight to you. This trip had been your idea; a relief from being confined in the house with two walking time bombs.

Saeyoung moved to place an arm around your shoulder, dropping a kiss on the top of

your head. You tossed the patch to Saeran, who caught it easily with a mumbled "Thanks."

You grasp Saeyoung's hand, entwining your fingers through his and pulling him towards the door. "Come on, God Seven, I need your god-like strength to lift the cooler into the trunk. Then we're good to go."

Saeyoung flexes playing then lifts you in the air, throwing you over his shoulder as he heads for the door. You scream in mock fear and give his bottom a slap.

"Mmm, do it again," he says lasciviously, giving your thigh a playful nip. "Bro," he calls over his shoulder, "grab a pair of trunks from my drawer. I'm positive you don't own any and you you're going to fry in those jeans."

* * *

Saeran watches you go, fiddling with the patch you had so generously retrieved for hm. He tries to push down the jealousy that fills his chest; his throat thick with self pitying tears. Beautiful; you are the most beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on. He scoffs at his brother's suggestion that your touch repulses him. If only his twin knew what your touch does to him. How horrified would he be if Saeran admitted that the merest graze of your skin against his makes him want to kiss you until you're breathless? That he lays in bed at night, eyes closed, hand wrapped around his erection as he imagines you are with him;pleasing him, allowing him to please you until you scream his name.

No, your touch does not repulse him but it is dangerous. He doesn't trust himself. He doesn't know how much of what he has been through has permanently changed the person he is. For years his driving force has been to punish his brother; now that desire was gone and he was lost. The love for his twin that had been buried under the drugs and brainwashing was still there and it gave him hope that he could live a normal life. But as long as he stayed here, living with his brother and his wife that he was madly in love with, he would stay in this perpetual state of in between; but he couldn't leave. He couldn't bear the thought of not seeing your shining eyes every morning, greeting him brightly as you set their breakfast neatly on the table; the small caress on the back of his neck that he is sure you don't realize you're doing and the sickest thing of all was that if he left he would no longer be able to hear you making love in the next room, your cries of pleasure at once exciting him and tearing his heart apart.

A normal life was impossible; so he settled. He settled for the fantasy of you being his, the worthless hope that maybe, just maybe, you sometimes thought of him as his twin fucked you so hard the bed sounded as if it were in danger of breaking.

Growling in frustration and unfulfilled desires, Saeran finally opened the heat patch and slammed it on his shoulder. Not because he actually needed it but it was something you'd gone out of your way to do for him. Staking into his brother's room, he grabbed a pair of swim trunks and slung them over his shoulder, ready for this hellish day to be over

* * *

"Saeyoung, you at least need to put some sunscreen on before…" Your voice trails off as you watch your husband's pale form race to the water, sounds of pure delight flying from his mouth. You shake your head and squirt some of the cream into your palm before tossing the bottle onto the sand beside you. "He's going to be so miserable tonight. I'm probably going to sleep on the couch so I don't disturb him."

"You can sleep in my bed," Saeran comments and her eyes dart to his, taking note of the panic he isn't quick enough to disguise. He clears his throat. "I mean, I'll take the couch and you can have my bed. I've slept in worse places."

Visions of dirty cell floors, being shackled to bare floors with no padding and pristine hospital beds with sturdy hand and foot restraints flash through your head; yes, he has slept worse but you refuse to let him suffer anymore.

"No way," you finally say lightly, turning your head to be sure he can't see your eyes tearing up. "The couch is super comfy; don't make me fight you for it."

"What? All 110 pounds of you?" He jokes back, managing to make you smile.

You turn your head to look at him and widen your eyes. "I don't have to overpower you; no, I'll stop cooking your breakfast."

Saeran gasps dramatically. "Please anything but that! I'll starve to death."

"I win," you smile sweetly, picking the sunscreen bottle back up. She waves it in front of his face menacingly. "Now it's your turn." She fills her palm with the white cream and grabs his arm.

He pulls away quickly from her touch, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. "I'm a grown man. If I want to put sunscreen on, I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself."

"Ooooh, is that so, Mr. Grown-up? I'm already going to have to deal with one whining twin tonight because he doesn't listen. I refuse to listen to two." Quick as lightning, you grab one of his arms, pulling it away from his body and slathering it with the thick white cream.

Saeran freezes, every muscle in his body going rigid. You bite your lips as your hands run over his forearms, massaging lightly to loosen the tight muscles you can feel bunched up in irritation. Your hands move to his fingers and you caress each one, letting your fingers entwine with his. You slowly raise your eyes to meet his and instead of the anger you expect to see your heart stops at the hunger you see staring back at you.

Small, cold droplets of water break the spell and you jerk your hand away from his, smiling up at your husband, guilt assaulting you though you've done nothing wrong.

"You party poopers gonna sit under the umbrella all day?" Saeyoung's boisterous voice asks as he plops down beside you and wraps his cold arms around you.

"I was just extolling the benefits of sunscreen to your brother since you are a _horrible_ example in that department," you retort as your heart starts beating again, though you're afraid he'll be able to hear the fast tempo it has taken up instead. _What the hell was that?_

"Who needs that stuff when you're a god," Saeyoung quipped, pressing a kiss to your lips. You lean into it a little more enthusiastically than he was expecting and his arms tighten their embrace, quickly dipping his tongue into your mouth before pulling away.

Reaching into the cooler, he grabs a can of Doctor Pepper and chugs it. When he's done he raises an eyebrow at the cooler's contents. "Beer? Since when did you start drinking that?"

"Oh, it's not for me," you answer brightly. "I didn't know if Saeran likes it or not so I just bought some in case."

"Can't," Saeran says in a clipped tone. "Can't have alcohol with my meds."

"Oh….right," you whisper, ashamed that you didn't think of that. Instead you pick up a dripping can of soda and hold it out to him, the melted ice dripping onto his stomach.

Saeran curses loudly and jumps up, knocking the can out of your hand roughly. "Can't you just leave me alone? No one told you to be nice to me. Just...leave me alone."

He turns and stalks away, heading toward the outside showers that line the boardwalk.

Saeyoung watches him go, a comforting hand on your back. "He didn't mean to lash out at you," he says softly. "He's not used to someone caring about him."

You sniff and wipe a tear from your cheek, leaning back against your husband's chest. "I know that, silly. I remember another red-headed twin who lashed out whenever I was nice to him." She poked him in the ribs with her elbow and he grunted. "I know how to handle the Choi brothers."

"You're so perfect," Saeyoung whispers into your ear, his lips pressing a light kiss against your neck.

You shiver but not directly from his words or the kiss he knows is one of your erogenous zones. No, the only thing on your mind right now is that Saeran has failed to wear his contacts this day and the look in eyes when your hands touched looked exactly like the looks Saeyoung gave you right before he took you to his bed.


	3. Betrayal

**Chapter 2: Betrayal**

A/N: Short chapter, sorry! It was just at a good place to end it. I really hope I'm doing Saeran justice. He's just recently become one of my favorite characters and I find him both easy and difficult to write. I think it's because after the secret endings, he's obviously going to be different than he is during the main storyline. Anyway, it's late and I'm rambling. lol  
Songs used this chapter:

My Favourite Faded Fantasy - Damien Rice  
Colour Me In - Damien Rice

* * *

Saeran watches you exit Saeyoung's expensive vehicle, arms crossed over his chest. His eyes follow your form as you walk across the parking lot, his gaze lingering on your hips and the way they gently sway as you move. Irritation at himself makes him jittery and his leg bounces with nervous energy. Banging his head back onto the seat's headrest he curses under his breath. What the hell is wrong with him? For the very first time in his life he is well and truly happy. The three of you form a strange but perfect little family and he's managing to screw it up. Not only is he in love with his brother's wife-something he hates himself immensely for-but now the feelings he doesn't know what to do with are manifesting into angry outbursts.

"It hurts," Saeyoung whines from the backseat, his prone body stiff as he tries to touch as little surface area of the leather seats as possible.

"Stop complaining," Saeran snaps, glancing back over his shoulder at his twin. The bespectacled brother's usually pale skin is now a bright red, the sun having done the damage that you predicted. "As usual, you're a stubborn asshole. If you'd listened to MC you wouldn't be in this predicament."

Saeyoung groans in pain. "What's with you today, man? I know being pissed off at the world is kind of your thing but you've turned it up to an eleven today."

"Nothing," Saeran answers, reaching over to access the car's sound system. He syncs his phone to the radio and starts a playlist, the music loud enough to deter any further conversation. Leaning his head back, he closes his eyes; the lyrics to the current song wash over him and become a soundtrack for today's events.

After losing his temper over the stupidest thing, he avoided the happy couple, finding an isolated place to sit and watch you; watching as he always does. From the beginning he has watched; first in malice, his thoughts of revenge overriding any other emotion; then with longing and jealousy. Seeing you frolic in the water most of the afternoon, your laugh bright and carefree made his heart ache. Would he ever feel that kind of joy? Being near you came close but it wasn't enough; never enough.

You open the driver's side door and Saeran starts, pressing pause on his phone. You give him a smile as you slide into the seat, reaching back and setting the grocery bags behind your seat.

"I got some gel to put on your sunburn, babe," you comment to your husband, giving him a look of pity. "I think you should rest when we get home." You start the engine and let out an exhausted sigh. "I'm beat. If you guys don't mind I'll just order some sushi for dinner."

"Sounds great," Saeyoung says listlessly, his eyes closing.

Saeran grunts in reply, his gaze turning to the passing scenery as you pull out onto the highway. You grip the steering wheel tightly, grappling with something to say that will draw him into a conversation. You can hear Saeyoung snoring softly in the back, the absence of his usual chatter making the air thick with tension. The familiar feeling of being pushed away and kept at a distance is not surprising; what is surprising is how much it hurts. Thinking back to that period of time when Saeyoung tried so hard to keep you at arm's length, you realize that his words had never cut so deeply as Saeran's complete silence.

"I'm sorry," you blurt out, desperate to fill that silence and bring him back to you.

From the corner of your eye, you see him turn his head to look at you and a tiny spark of hope blooms in your chest. You've managed to get his attention. "Sorry for what?"

"For what happened at the beach. I didn't realize the ice was melting already, I didn't mean to-"

"Stop," Saeran interrupts, cutting off her apology. "Why do you do that?"

You blink and dart a quick glance at him before returning your eyes to the road. "Do what?"

"Apologize; you apologize for everything, even when it's not your fault; it's annoying."

"Sorry" you mumble, knowing he is right but thinking he could have put it a nicer way. It's in your nature to please everyone and you feel sometimes it's just necessary to take the blame to keep the peace.

Saeran sighs. "Look, I'm not angry. I'm sorry I snapped at you this afternoon. It wasn't your fault, it was just a stupid accident and I overreacted."

"But you avoided me the rest of the day."

"Yeah," he says softly, returning his gaze to the view outside his window. "That was just me being...me." His attitude seems to suddenly shift and he turns his head, one of his hands reaching up to gently tuck your hair behind your ear. Your heart skips a beat at his touch and you can feel yourself blushing. He drops his hand, clearing his throat in embarrassment. "We're cool, don't worry about it."

You swallow hard, nodding your head longer than necessary. "R-Right...great," you manage to say, now even more confused than ever.

* * *

Hours later, after making sure Saeyoung was as comfortable as he could be and eating dinner with Saeran, you stand in the kitchen carefully dipping formed balls of peanut butter into a bowl of melted chocolate, lost in your thoughts. You can still feel Saeran's touch though it doesn't fluster you as much as it did at first. It didn't _have_ to be a gesture of affection; maybe your hair was just stuck to your cheek. It had been a hot day and it was possible your face was damp with sweat. You snort to yourself at how far you'll go to delude yourself; it had definitely been more than just a brotherly act. If that had been the only out of character thing Saeran had done that evening, you could blow it off; but with Saeyoung in bed and absent from dinner, Saeran had been unusually attentive and talkative. His usual glances of discomfort directed your way were replaced with warmth and adoration.

So deep in your own head, you don't hear Saeran enter the kitchen and you jump violently when he hops up onto the counter beside where you're working, popping open a can of soda and taking a long drink. "What are you doing?"

Pressing your clean hand over your pounding heart, you glare at him. "I'm making peanut butter balls," you snap. "Don't sneak up on people like that."

"You know you don't have to go out of your way to make my brother stuff like that. Give him a bag of those stupid chips and he's in heaven."

You shrug one shoulder, going back to the tedious task of dipping. "They aren't for him. I mean, he's welcome to eat them, of course; but I thought you'd like them."

"Me?" His voice is strange but when you look up he is smiling down at you. He jerks his head at your chocolate covered fingers. "Wouldn't it be easier to use a fork or something?"

You grin and wiggle your messy fingers at him playfully. "Yeah but then I wouldn't get to lick the chocolate off my fingers afterward. That's the best part."

"Oh yeah? Let me try." With no warning Saeran grabs your wrist and inserts one of your fingers into his mouth. After a brief pause, his eyes hold yours as his tongue licks the sweetness from your skin before sucking on it gently. Heat coils in your belly and your breathing increases, the sudden desire to kiss him almost overwhelming. He pulls your finger from his mouth slowly, his teeth lightly grazing your skin. When you jerk your hand away, his tongue darts out to lick the small amount of chocolate that coats his bottom lip. "Delicious," he says softly, his voice full of sensuality. His eyes hold yours in the silence that follows, your pulse thumping almost painfully.

You finally break eye contact with him, trying to ignore the way your heart is pounding for an entirely different reason than just a few moments ago. Disoriented, your eyes dart around the kitchen, seeing nothing but Saeran's mint colored eyes staring at you lustfully. He's obviously reinserted his contacts, enhancing the carnal look he's giving you that is almost predatory in nature. You turn quickly to the sink, washing your hands vigorously as your husband's twin watches silently.

"That...no...that didn't...no," you ramble aloud, your thoughts scattered. You have to get out of the room and it has to be now before you do something you'll both regret. Pivoting on your heel you force yourself to meet Saeran's unwavering gaze. Taking a deep breath you open your mouth to speak and hope your voice is as forceful as you hope. "No."

Feeling as if you've just scolded a puppy you rush from the room, leaving the mess you've made on the counter to be cleaned up later. You have to get away from his penetrating look. Quickly you enter your bedroom, all thoughts of sleeping on the couch forgotten. Leaning against the closed door you sink to the floor, staring numbly at your slumbering husband and wondering what the hell just happened; and why you liked it so much.

* * *

Saeran stares at the tiled floor when you're gone, his heart racing. Guilt makes his chest ache and he blinks in disbelief that he allowed himself to lose control in such an aggressive way. What had come over him? He hadn't come into the kitchen to try to seduce you, he was genuinely curious about what you were making. The evening spent talking easily with you allowed him to let his guard down. When he heard that you were making something special for him, his body had filled with happiness. Then when you made the comment about licking your fingers he grabbed you without thinking. It had felt as natural as breathing but he had let himself forget that touching you was dangerous. As soon as his skin made contact with yours, something had come over him and he couldn't help the desire to lay you on the counter and worship your body. For a split second he had the opportunity to reign in his feelings but it was almost as if he purposely let it pass; tried to silently convince you to surrender to him.

"Fuck," he yells, throwing his half-full can of soda against the wall in anger and disgust. After so much time keeping a tight hold on his selfishness, he has managed to frighten you and betray his brother in the blink of an eye. Fury chokes him and he throws himself down from the counter, heading for the front door.


	4. About Last Night

**Chapter 3: About Last Night**

A/N: Holy long chapter, Batman! This one took me awhile because I got hung up on the stupidest thing. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! I promise, things are going to start getting happier very soon. You know what they say, it has to get worse before it gets better. ;) ****This chapter contains strong sexual content.**** Songs used listed below.

Breathe Me - Sia  
Dancing On My Own - Calum Scott  
Heart Like Yours - Willamette Stone

* * *

Steam from the scalding shower fills the small space of the bathroom. Saeran stands in front of the mirror, towel wrapped around his hips as he studies the dark circles under his eyes, absently running an electric razor over his chin. He's spent the whole night walking the streets of the city, shoulders hunched, hands shoved into his pockets; gaze firmly on the ground in front of him as his emotions battled within him. Recently his moods run the gamut, from elation to misery; he's exhausted from the tight control he must maintain on his every gaze and gesture when he's around you while also hiding what he's feeling from his twin.

That fleeting look of desire in your eyes the night before haunts him. His feelings on that heated gaze constantly switch from hope to self-loathing until he feels like he's once again losing his mind. The last thing in the world he ever wants to do is hurt his brother; the brother who always put Saeran's wants and needs above his own. He knows that you are the one and only thing Saeyoung would ever fight him over; the only thing he would be unable to provide and the only thing Saeran would never ask of him. They both deserved to happy; you being the source of that happiness was just God's way of fucking with them.

Saeran's eyes fall to the image of the tattoo on his arm and he frowns deeply. Saeyoung had offered to pay for its removal but Saeran refused. He keeps it as a punishment and reminder of what he let himself become. Everyone has reassured him that his actions were not his fault but he knows that isn't true. All he had to do was be stronger; he was too trusting of those who wore their own masks. If he had just resisted the lies, believed in his other half, he may have been able to escape that living hell on his own. Saeyoung had managed to do it, why couldn't he?

Roughly pushing his dark thoughts aside, he tosses the razor on the counter, not caring if it breaks. Maybe if he breaks something it will help relieve some of this rage that still seems to be his constant companion, living just underneath the surface. Irritably he snatches up his clean t-shirt and shoves it over his head. When he is completely clothed he escapes the heat of the bathroom and pads down the hallway, pausing outside yours and Saeyoung's door, the unmistakable sounds of lovemaking muffled behind the closed door.

Ashamed but unable to stop himself, Saeran leans against the wall opposite the barrier and listens; your whimpers and groans making him close his eyes to savor the sound. Silently, he berates himself for his perversion, a string of derisive words directed at himself looping in his head as his heart slowly breaks.

* * *

You awaken to the familiar feeling of Saeyoung's arm resting around your waist, his warm breath on the back of your neck. Last night you slipped between the cool sheets, careful to keep your distance in fear of disturbing him. Now his body is pressed against yours, solid and reassuring. You gently grasp his hand and bring it to your mouth, brushing your lips against his knuckles. You absently twist the band on his finger, remembering the small ceremony your wedding had been. The only guests in attendance had been the other RFA members, your parents having passed away years ago. A small smile touches your lips when you think of the beaming faces of the people who had become your family; even Jumin managing to not look bored and Jahee inconspicuously dabbing at the corners of her eyes as Saeyoung recited the vows he'd written himself. Zen had ended up singing a love song he wrote himself that made MC extremely happy that it was just their tiny organization celebrating that day. If it had been any larger, the beauty of Zen's performance would have overshadowed everything else at the event.

Yoosung had ended up being Saeyoung's best man after Saeran refused. By the time it was the youngest member's turn to give a speech, he was a drunk mess. He did manage to recite his speech though he cried through the whole thing and at the end started berating Saeyoung to "take care of the princess".

Lastly you remember Saeran's sad eyes and the way he'd advert his gaze whenever he noticed you looking at him. You'd wanted to approach him several times that day but any time you got close you were pulled into one direction or the other for pictures, throwing the bouquet, throwing the garter (Saeyoung's favorite part), cutting the cake; the list went on. Your constant longing to find him that night and check that he was having fun brings last night's events to the forefront of your thoughts. Your fingers tighten around Saeyoung's hand, guilt of what could have happened making your eyes prick. You know the instant he awakens, his fingers entwining with yours and pressing your joined hands against your heart.

"Good morning, wife," he murmurs, nuzzling your neck.

You can't help but smile at his usual morning greeting, trying to push away whatever guilt remains. You wiggle closer to him, pressing your bottom against him. "Good morning, husband."

His hand reaches under your shirt to caress your bare stomach and goosebumps cover your body. "Did you sleep well," he asks, his hand moving up to your breasts and cupping one gently, this thumb grazing your hardening nipple. He presses his hips against you and you feel his growing erection, your heart beginning to pick up speed.

You make a sound of affirmation to his question and reach back to caress his hip, your hand moving to his bottom. "How are you feeling this morning?"

He pulls your earlobe into his mouth and sucks gently before answering. "Still sore but the important parts are still working." He removes his hand from your breast momentarily to gently grab your roaming hand and press it against the bulge in his boxers. He lets out a low moan when you palm his heat, his hand returning to worry at your sensitive nipple.

"That's….good," you gasp as his fingers pinch and pull, sending electric shocks racing to your loins. Your hand strokes his now rock hard erection through the cotton fabric that is quickly becoming moist from his precum. Pushing down his underwear the best you can with one hand, you wrap your fingers around his member, his quick intake of breath at your bare touch making heat rush through your veins.

He hastily pushes your lace panties down your hips and you guide him to your heat, already slick and ready for him. He pushes into you slowly, twin groans of pleasure filling the silence of the room. His mouth bites and sucks at the sensitive skin under your ear and your fingers clutch at his hair, hips pressing back to meet his deep, gentle strokes.

He bends one leg to rest his foot on the soft surface beneath you, pulling your leg back to drape over his raised one. He thrusts deeper into you and you cry out when he buries himself up to the root inside you.

He grasps your hip, his fingers digging into your flesh. His breath is hot against your ear; words that set your body on fire falling from his lips in a ragged whisper. You arch your back, your fingers tightening in his hair as a mewl escapes your throat. Your hips push back to meet his thrusts, your body feverish as your orgasm builds quickly.

Saeyoung's hand leaves your hip to reach between your legs, his finger massaging the slick bundle of nerves that is throbbing painfully.

You feel your body begin to contract around your husband's length and you cry out. "Oh god, Saeyoung, I'm coming," you pant desperately, your body already beginning to feel waves of pleasure rolling through it.

His drives into you harder, his thrusts becoming frantic as your orgasm finally hits you full force, your body convulsing around him. "I love you," you hear moan, his breath hot and damp. He thrusts once more, hard, then cries out your name as he explodes inside you. His hips continue to move against you, his thrusts gradually coming slower until he finally stills, breathing hard against your back.

Withdrawing from you slowly, he wraps his arms around you tightly and throws a leg over yours, his lips pressing gently against your neck. "I love how insatiable you are," he smiles against your skin, making you laugh.

"Me? You started it!"

"Mm, I just can't help myself around you," he answers, nibbling at your ear.

"Oh no, you don't," you laugh again, feeling him grind his hips against you. "I have stuff to get done today." You extract yourself from his embrace and sit up, looking at him over your shoulder. He beams back at you, his smile reaching his golden eyes and burning through you. God, you love this man. You playfully smack his rear and stand, pulling your panties up to cover your bottom, "Come on, lobster boy, go shower. I'll make breakfast."

You slip on some sweats and make your way to the kitchen, freezing at the sight of Saeran standing over the stove, spatula in hand. The mess from the night before has been cleaned up, the counters neat and tidy. The candy she had been working on sits on the island, the pieces lined up in neat rows. He turns as if sensing your presence, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly before he returns back to the food he's preparing.

You clear your throat and move fully into the room, grabbing the orange juice and a glass. "Good morning, Saeran," you greet him softly, you eyes on your task.

"Morning," he replies, his voice barely audible.

Silence falls between you, the tension in the air almost tangible. Your eyes stay on his back, watching his every move as you sip your juice. You need to say something; somehow bring up what happened between you but your mind is blank. Suddenly you realize that he has been awake for a while and your face burns in embarrassment. Just how loud were you and Saeyoung? His touch always makes you forget where you are, pulling you into a universe where only the two of you exist. You don't realize how long you've been sitting and staring; your thoughts chasing themselves until you feel your husband's exuberant presence.

"Good morning," Saeyoung declares, entering the room with a bright smile. Throwing an arm around your shoulder and kisses you quickly on the lips, stealing your juice in the process. You notice Saeran stiffen, spatula hovering midair for a moment before he carefully restarts turning the pancakes that are cooking. You move to his side to grab another glass from the cabinet and look at him. He meets your gaze, his face unreadable, then almost immediately breaks eye contact and looks down, turning his head back to the front.

The fact that he won't look at you makes your chest ache. No matter how stand-offish Saeran has always been, he's never been as evasive as he is now; or perhaps you had just never noticed. Lately every action he takes attracts your attention and causes you to want to study his movements. You're shocked when it suddenly occurs to you that the feeling is very similar to what you felt when Saeyoung stayed with you in Rika's apartment. That fascination with his mere presence has somehow been transferred to his twin and you feel blood rush to your face.

"Food's ready," Saeran says in a slightly louder voice over his shoulder. "Saeyoung grab some plates."

Soon you are all sitting around the small kitchen table, your eyes wide as you watch Saeran drown his pancakes in maple syrup. A growing puddle of the sticky substance surrounds the fluffy discs and still he continues to pour. You bite your lip in amusement, trying not to laugh.

"Jesus, Saeran," Saeyoung comments in amazement. "Why don't you just drink it from the bottle? You have so much crap on there you won't even be able to taste the pancakes."

Saeran stares at his brother dispassionately and sets the glass bottle back on the table. Holding his brother's gaze, he picks up the can of whipped cream and sprays it over the top of the already sickly sweet mound. One copper eyebrow quirks up and the giggle you've managed to hold in check slips out. The sound makes Saeran's eyes flicker in your direction and you see a small smile pass his lips before he picks up his fork to eat.

You grab the abandoned can of whipped cream and proceed to dress your pancakes, somehow managing to get a small amount of the creamy substance on your finger. You lift your hand to lick it off but before your finger reaches your mouth, Saeyoung grasps your wrist and pops your finger in his mouth. It only lasts for an instant before your finger is clean and he pulls the digit from his mouth, placing a small kiss on it before releasing you with a grin. Your posture is frozen, heat suffusing your face. You can feel Saeran's eyes on you and it takes every ounce of willpower not to glance in his direction. You force yourself to smile and poke your husband's cheek playfully before turning your attention to your breakfast.

* * *

Saeran concentrates on his food, not even tasting it as he shovels it quickly into his mouth. His heart pounds painfully; seeing his twin unknowingly copy his performance from the night before leaves a myriad of emotions racing through him. The decision he made walking the empty streets cements in his mind and he pushes away his now empty plate and clears his throat. He's looking at you when your eyes lift to meet his gaze. His resolve falters momentarily when you make eye contact but he steels himself from the small smile you give him and the way it make him feel. Taking a deep breath, he looks away, making himself stare at his brother who is also staring at him in question.

"I'm leaving," he finally says quickly, rushing to get the words out before he changes his mind. He hears your fork hit your plate but he keeps his eyes on the face that is so much like his own, refusing to look in your direction; he knows if he does he'll break.

"Leaving?" Saeyoung asks, slowly setting down his own utensil.

Saeran nods curtly, his hands fisting in his lap. This was harder than he thought it would be. He could already see the hurt and worry in his brother's eyes and could only imagine what he would see in yours. "I'm getting my own place. I saw an apartment for rent not too far from here when I was out earlier. I'll still be within walking distance but you guys will have your privacy."

Saeyoung shakes his head. "We have plenty of privacy, bro. You know we want you here."

"Why are you really leaving?" You jump in, an angry edge in your voice.

Saeyoung places a hand over yours that rests on the table. Your body is shaking, the shock of his words blindsiding you. You can almost hear your husband's silent comment that if it's what Saeran wants then you should let him go.

"He doesn't _want_ to go," you insist, answering Saeyoung's unspoken words, your anger quickly turning into something more painful. "He thinks he _has_ to because-"

Saeran cuts you off before you can say more, focusing his gaze somewhere above your head. "Look, you guys are married. Eventually you're going to want kids and who wants their messed up brother around being a bad influence?"

"Come on, dude," Saeyoung chides softly, his fingers tightening over yours when he feels your hand tremor. "Kids are not even on the horizon right now but even if they were, we'd love to have you around them. Where is all this stuff coming from? I thought we had a good life now."

" _You_ have a good life, Saeyoung," Sarean answers, unable to keep the sadness from his voice. "I seriously can't continue to be the third wheel around here. Besides, what happens when I finally meet someone? You do realize I can hear everything that goes on in your bedroom? Being the gentleman I am, I pop on my headphones when things get porny. But do you really want to hear me getting it on with some random girl?"

You can't stop the tears that slowly leak from the corners of your eyes. First he's leaving and now he's talking about having a girlfriend? All this because he; no _they_ made a mistake last night? Instead of talking it over with you to figure out what is going on, he's going to run away? And why does the thought of Saeran touching some other woman make you feel as if your heart is breaking?

You stand, your chair flying back with the force of your body. You lean your hands on the wooden surface of the table and you cock your head in confusion. "Let me get this straight. You don't care about hurting the brother that risked his life to save you because you want to get _laid_ every once in awhile? And what about me….?"

Your words trail off as Saeran's green gaze finally meets yours. The coldness they emanate makes your breath stop. You can't remember the last time Saeran has worn a mask around you but now here it is; perfect and in place. Whatever he is going to say next is going to hurt; you know this but still you persist, challenging him silently to do his worst.

Saeran's eyes narrow slightly as he gazes up at you. "What about you, MC?" He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest, one ankle moving up to rest on his knee. "Last time I checked you weren't anything other than my stupid brother's wife. Does that mean you're stupid too? Or even more-so because you did marry him knowing that he's an idiot. Weren't there three other men after you back then? Some would say the smartest choice would have been the rich guy; or maybe the actor who will eventually be rich; I bet that one is really good in bed. Oh I know, the little blonde one; I'm sure there's a thing or two you could teach him." He pauses, his head slowly tilting as he appraises you. Saeyoung is strangely quiet and you have the urge to glance at him but refuse to break eye contact. If he's going to talk to you this way, he's going to look you in the eye while he does it. A slow, malicious grin spreads across Saeran's perfect lips. "But I went off on a tangent, excuse me. What I really meant to say is that you are nothing to me, MC; just like I'm nothing to you. The only reason we are even cohabitating is because of my brother. I thought it would be cool having a girl around doing all the cooking and cleaning but it turns out I'm doing most of that too. So….what are you? Because I can find no redeeming qualities in you whatsoever."

"Saeran," Sayoung finally snaps angrily, his face red with fury. "I think that's more than enough. She may not mean much to you but she's my wife and means everything to me. So show a little respect. MC has never been anything but nice to you, bro. She's done nothing to deserve the vitriol you're spewing at her right now."

Saeran glares at you before rolling his eyes in aggravation. "No one asked her to be nice to me. I wish she'd stop because all it does is make her look pathetic. I know the only reason she does it is because of you, Saeyoung."

Your fingernails bite into your palms as your fisted hands continue to get tighter. His words are not having the huge effect he's going for but they are leaving small wounds. Did he really believe even a quarter of the words that were coming out of his mouth? Or had he become carried away in his desperation to push you away from him; his desperation to keep whatever was going on between you from his brother?

Taking a deep breath, you straighten your spine and force yourself to relax your fists. Your body is a bundle of physical and emotional paint, invisible bruises covering you from head to toe. Turning slowly, you try to give Saeyoung a reassuring smile that ends up being nothing more than the pressing together your quivering lips. Forcing your gaze down, you finally meet Saeran's eyes once more. The coldness you'd seen just a few minutes ago has been replaced with panic and regret and you nod your head knowingly.

"Coward," you spit out. "After all this time, you show your hand one time and then run away scared. Just remember that, Saeran; remember that I stayed. Now if you guys would excuse me."

You move away from the table without waiting for an answer, hoping your shaking legs can get you to your bedroom before they collapse.

* * *

Saeyoung watches you leave the kitchen, thoughts rapidly running through his mind. Something is going on but he can't quite put his finger on what it is. He pushes down the urge to go after you, knowing you'll need a few minutes alone to compose yourself. You hate him seeing you cry and this is shaping up to be a doozy of a crying spell. Picking up his discarded fork, he digs back into his food, his gaze turning to glare at his twin.

Saeran sits forward, elbows resting on his knees, head in hands. That went colossally bad. Not one word directed at you had been the truth. He feels awful now; actually sick to his stomach as his cruel words reverberate through him. Why did he have to say something about meeting a woman? He didn't care about that. He was just grasping for straws and it was something that stuck, so he said it without thinking. What he wants to tell you is that you are the only bright spot in his life; that he is so in love with you that he would give anything just to be able to look at you everyday; he would give up his soul to be the one you love. But none of that is going to happen so he did what he could to make you hate him.

"That was pretty harsh, don't you think?" Saeyoung's question invades his thoughts, scattering them into the wind. The bespectacled twin finishes his food then grabs his wife's plate and begins to devour hers.

Saeran covers his face with his hands. "Probably," his reply is muffled. With a groan of anger at himself he reaches up and tousles his hair roughly.

Saeyoung says nothing for a couple of minutes, finishing your leftover food before wiping his mouth with a napkin and leaning back to observe his brother. "What's going on with you two?"

Panic began to flutter in Saeran's chest. "N-Nothing," he finally answers, picking up his utensils and fidgeted with them.

Saeyoung gives a doubtful hum but lets it go for the moment. "The way MC's face looked when she left this room….it's a face I'm pretty familiar with. I promised her a long time before we started our search for you that I would never do anything to put that look on her face again; and I haven't, you did," he pauses, staring at his brother's bent head until it raises to meet his gaze. "I don't exactly know what's going on but I do know that it's fairly new on MC's end. She and I don't keep secrets anymore, so if there were something I needed to know about, she would tell me. That's the only reason I'm not jumping across this table to beat your ass right now." Saeyoung sets his elbows on the table and leans forward, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "I have an idea of what's going on with _you,_ however. I won't address it right now because I don't think it's to that point yet. Saeran, you know I love you; you are my other half and that is never going to change. But….if you speak to my wife like that again I will make sure I give you a beating you will never forget."

Saeran nods in complete understanding, expecting no less. "Don't worry, if it happens again, I will help you do it."

Saeyoung raises one bright eyebrow. "Kinky," he teases

"Gross," his twin says in disgust, throwing a balled up napkin at his brother's head. "If you get your mind out of the gutter I can show you the place. Like I said, it's really close." Glancing down the hallway where the bedrooms resides, he bites his lip. "I'll ask MC if she wants to see it if she ever forgives me."

* * *

It's hours later before Saeyoung returns to your bedroom. You heard the twins leave shortly after you disappeared into your room. Thankful that they were gone, you let yourself be overwhelmed with the grief and anger that had built inside you. Your tears had finally dried up around an hour after the guys left but your eyes are still red and swollen. Your husband opens the door and quietly closes it behind him. He walks silently to where you're standing in front of the mirror, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder to look at your reflections.

"You're beautiful," he breathes, raising one hand to stroke your hair. His warmth and kindness makes your eyes burn and before you know it tears are once again tears running down your cheeks. One long thumb brushes them away before he turns you in his arms, kneeling down to catch you behind you knees and shoulders. He easily lifts you into his arms and walks to the bed where sits with his back against the headboard, placing you gently in his lap.

One hand methodically caresses your back, his fingers making you shiver as they softly make their way up then back down then back up again. His other hand rests at your hip, his thumb soothing you with small circles. You sigh in contentment and lean you head against his chest, the steady beat of his heart feeling like home. You adjust your position slightly and wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

"Alright now?" Saeyoung asks quietly, abandoning your back to once more stroke your hair.

You give a contented sigh and nod. "Yes."

"Is it alright if I ask you a question, hon?" At your nod, he clears his throat and thinks for a moment how to phrase what he wants to ask. "I've been noticing that Saeran and you have become pretty close recently."

"That's not a question," you answer softly, your embrace tightening.

Saeyoung laughs lightly. "True. Ok, I guess I'm asking if there is something I should be worried about between you two?"

You can feel him hold his breath in anticipation of your answer. You lift your head and look at him, your eyes studying his face. Reaching up, you cup his cheek with one hand, smiling when he places a light kiss in the palm. "Why would you ever be worried?"

Saeyoung gives you a slight grin. "It must be really bad if you're answering a question with a question," he pauses, tucking your hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek. He places a finger under your chin and lifts your face that you have lowered in thought. "No secrets, remember?"

You take a deep breath and nod, gathering your courage. "I can't answer your question completely because I don't know. What I do know is that you have no reason to worry; I fall in love with _you_ a little more every day. There is nothing, or no one, who will ever come between us. I promise you, Saeyoung, I am here as long as you want me."

"Forever it is, then," he quips, bringing his mouth to yours. His lips move sweetly over yours and when his tongue slips into your mouth the remaining tension in your body melts away. You tilt your head to deepen the kiss and his moan of appreciation manages to push away the lingering images of cold green eyes, replacing them with golden ones as warm as the sun when they gaze down at you. When your flesh joins Saeyoung is once again the center of your universe, filling your heart to brimming with the love he freely gives you.

Afterwards you lay in the circle of his arms, unable to sleep. Your body is exhausted but your eyes stubbornly refuse to close; glued to the dark ceiling above you. Unbidden, Saeran's words return to echo in your ears, the indifference in his tone when he claimed you mean nothing to him stabbing you sharply in the heart. You realize your body must have stiffened when Saeyoung's arms squeeze you tightly, his voice murmuring words of comfort. You allow yourself to lose yourself in the sound of his voice, forcefully pushing aside the other twin's hurtful words as you finally manage to drift off to sleep.


	5. Breaking Point

**Chapter 4: Breaking Point**

First of all, I am deeply sorry that it has taken so long to get this chapter out. It's a massive chapter for me, written and edited during a move.  
Since this chapter is so huge, of course its "playlist" is also larger than normal. Songs used for inspiration listed below.

Near To You - A Fine Frenzy (This was only used during the first section)  
Hurts Like Hell - Fleurie  
The Only Fault - Rachael Yamagata  
Say Something - Timeflies  
Flesh And Bone - Keaton Henson

* * *

You recline on the bed in your sexiest pose; head perched on one hand watching Saeyoung stuff various pieces of clothing into an overnight bag. Your lower lip pokes out slightly in an impish pout causing your husband to chuckle each time he glances at you.

"Stop looking at me like that," he laughs, throwing a t-shirt at your head. "I'll be gone two nights tops, I promise.

You snatch the shirt off your head and fall back onto the bed, sighing dramatically, giving up on half-heartedly trying to seduce your husband into staying. "That's what you said last time and it took four lonely nights for you to come back and the time before that it was a whole week! I think I liked it better when you were a reclusive hacker."

Shoving the small piece of luggage onto the floor Saeyoung crawls onto the bed and moves to hover over you, his weight resting on his elbows. He catches your mouth with his and kisses you sweetly, grinning down at you in mischief when you part. "Mm, but you're always so happy to see me when I get home." You blush prettily, the memory of your reunion after his last extended business trip making your body grow warmer. Seeing the color in your cheeks, Saeyoung groans. "Oh God, you're so cute. Don't look at me like that or I might not be able to leave you."

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to meet your lips in a chaste kiss. "That's the point," you whisper and laugh when he growls playfully and nips at your neck. Your laugh quickly turns into a soft moan when his mouth travels to your ear, his tongue tracing the shell of your ear before gently biting the soft lobe.

"I'll make it up to you when I get back," he murmurs, his hot breath making your body tingle. His fingers inch up your shirt to caress your bare stomach then suddenly he switches your positions and you end up half sprawled on top of him. You rest your chin on his chest, giving him a small glare and blowing your bangs off your forehead in frustration.

"You don't play fair."

He grins and tugs lightly at your hair before running his hand over your scalp lovingly. "You're one to talk; trying to seduce me with that perfect mouth of yours. And don't think I didn't notice you inching your skirt up ever so slightly every time I looked at you."

You rise to your knees and grin mischievously as you lift your short skirt just a bit. "You mean like this?"

He runs his hand lightly up your inner thigh then groans in frustration and pulls you back down to rest on his chest. "Now the whole trip I'll be thinking of little else but burying my face between those shapely legs you keep teasing me with. I don't know how I'm going to get anything done. I wish I had time to make love to you properly right this second but I really have to leave soon if I'm going to catch my flight." He strokes your hair affectionately, his eyes full of worry. "What gives anyway? My trips never seem to bother you this much. Why are you putting so much effort into tempting me to stay?"

"Ugh, I don't know," you sigh letting your head drop to his chest. You wrap your arms around his waist and listen to the steady and reassuring beat of his heart. He strokes your back; sensing that you want to say more and giving you time to gather your thoughts. "I'm sorry," you finally say, your arms tightening around him. "I'm being ridiculous but it just seems so...empty... when you're gone now."

You feel his hand pause momentarily on your back before it resumes its soothing rhythm and he sighs. "You miss Saeran," it's not a question but you nod anyway. You hear him take a breath to speak, let it out slowly then draw another. "Have you spoken with him recently?"

You shake your head, one hand moving to fidget with the hem of his shirt. "He won't answer my calls or texts; have you heard from him?"

Lifting your head to peer at him, Saeyoung nods giving you a guarded look you don't quite understand. "We text; I've called him a few times. He always asks how you are," he finishes softly, giving you a small smile.

"Is he alright?"

Again Saeyoung nods. "I think he's lonely but he's doing fine. He has a small apartment about a mile from here." His eyes search yours, looking for something that he evidently finds as he nods before continuing. "Why don't you invite him over while I'm gone? You guys can clear the air and keep each other company."

"And just how am I supposed to do that when he won't talk to me," you retort, raising an eyebrow "After all the awful things I said to him, I don't think he'll ever talk to me again."

"You both said some terrible things you didn't mean. I can guarantee he's not answering your calls because he's ashamed of what he said."

You bite your lip in indecision. "Do you think so?"

"Come on, who is this hesitant girl in front of me? What happened to that persistence that wouldn't let me run away from my feelings?"

You smirk remembering his attempts to kill whatever feelings you had for him. "You were easy. You practically had heart eyes every time you looked at me, even when you were yelling. If we hadn't been stuck in what amounted to one room it would have been a lot easier for you to fool me."

He gives you a strange smile and shifts his eyes to the fingers that are now playing with your hair. "What do you see when Saeran looks at you?"

Your brows furrow in confusion but you give his question thought before answering. A quick snapshot of Saeran's image, your finger in his mouth, flashes through your mind but you push it away. In the month since he left, you have convinced yourself that you overreacted to the situation; imagined the seductive look on your brother-in-law's face. This made what you'd said to him the next day doubly awful. You shake your head slightly to scatter the memory of your razor sharp words. "I don't know, mainly it's indifference," you finally answer, resting your head back onto his chest.

Saeyoung lets out a breath that passes for a quiet laugh. "He's anything but indifferent towards you, babe," he says so softly you would have missed it had your ear not been pressed against his body.

Moving suddenly, you slide up and press your lips against his, your hand touching his cheek. Your fingers whisper across his skin before grasping his nape and holding him as your head tilts to deepen the kiss. When you separate, you are both breathless.

"I love you," you declare, your fingers lightly tracing his lips. "I love you so much, Saeyoung. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"Hey," he chides softly, catching your roaming fingers and kissing them, "don't talk like that. I'm not going anywhere. No matter what happens, I'll be here."

"But what if-"

He cuts off your words by placing a finger against your lips. "No matter what," he emphasizes, his lips replacing his long finger. You clutch his shoulders almost desperately, tears pricking your eyes when he finally pulls away. He takes note of the time and sighs.

"I hate leaving you like this but I really have to go if I'm going to catch my flight."

"It's alright," you reassure him, forcing a smile as you blink back tears. You give him one more quick kiss before pushing yourself up and off the bed. You pick up his overnight bag and stuff the few remaining items inside before zipping it up and holding it out to him.

He grasps the handle and pulls before you can release it, embracing you with his free arm. "I'm going to put Saeran's address into your phone. If he keeps ignoring you, just go over there and talk to him. I doubt he'll just leave you outside ringing the buzzer." He gives you a grin. "If he does, just lean into the sucker and let it buzz until he gives up."

* * *

An hour after Saeyoung is gone, you sit on the sofa alternately watching the cooking show you have on and the screen of your phone. Saeran's address taunts you, daring you to take action. You've tried calling him twice in the past hour and texted numerous times. As usual, your efforts go unnoticed. Your eyes once again return to the small glowing screen and you bite your lip. Should you go over? Saeyoung said you should. You imagine it's important to him for you to make up with his brother. It can't be easy having the two people you love the most angry at one another. The adult thing to do would be to apologize to Saeran but it's becoming glaringly obvious that in order to do so you'll have to ambush him.

Restlessly you stand, switching off the television and throwing the remote onto the sofa. You begin to pace around the living area, arms wrapped around yourself. The small display of pictures on the bookshelf catches your attention and you stop in front of it. There are two pictures of your wedding day featured prominently over the other random snapshots of your life. The first is of you and Saeyoung smiling widely at the camera, hands and face covered with cake and icing. The other grabs your attention, however, and will not let go. In this photo, you stand between the twins, arms linked with them. Saeyoung beams at the camera as you laugh at something, head turned to look at Saeran who looks back at you with a half-smile. You and Saeyoung chose this picture not only because it was a favorite but because it was the only one where his brother was smiling.

You touch the frozen image of Saeran with your index finger, your eyes unable to look away from the face you haven't set eyes on in so long. You know from experience that the Choi brothers are stubborn to a fault but enough is enough. This rift between you and Saeran needs to be mended and if you are the one that must be the first to bend then so be it.

Half an hour later you stand outside the gate to Saeran's apartment, hesitantly staring at the buzzer. The whole way over you managed to keep the determination you stepped out of the door with but now faced with the very real possibility of facing him you find that your hands are shaking. _You are nothing to me_ , his words return from the recesses of your memory where you've managed to keep them for the past month. _I can find no redeeming qualities in you whatsoever._ Even now the words sting more than anything ever has before.

Whatever bravery you have managed to hold onto drains from you and you step back from the door as if it will bite you. Unshed tears burn your eyes and you blink rapidly, trying as hard as you can to keep them from falling. What are you doing here? Saeran could have contacted you anytime in the past thirty days if he wanted to bridge the distance between you but no matter how many times you initiated contact, he stayed silent. He has made his intentions crystal clear; you are the one who can't seem to let go.

Staring at the entrance you sink into a kneel, wrapping your arms around your legs and resting your chin on your knees. Teardrops fall down your face unchecked and when you hear the first distant rumble of thunder you can do nothing but laugh.

* * *

The sun has almost completely sunk below the horizon when Saeran freezes on the sidewalk near his gate, his eyes immediately noticing your small form huddled across from the entrance. His heart skips a beat at the sight of you then begins to race, making it hard for him to take a breath. What are you doing here? Ignoring you for the last month has been hell for him; the things he said to you repeating in his memory and keeping him awake at night. He can't even count how many times he's picked up his phone, his finger hovering over your name in his call log. The unanswered texts you've sent him have become his bedtime stories; the words read so frequently that they are now etched into his memory; able to be recited by rote if required of him.

Finally recovering from the shock of seeing you, he realizes you are soaked through; your hair plastered to your head and your clothes cling alluringly to your body. He sighs and walks over to where you're crouched, holding the umbrella in his grasp over your head to stop the steady fall of rain on your head.

"Why are you sitting out here in the rain," he finally asks raising his voice slightly to be heard over the rain when you show no reaction to his presence.

You open your eyes slowly, your gaze falling on his black boots before traveling up to meet the intense stare of his green eyes. You gasp and stand quickly, realizing when you stumble slightly that your legs are numb. Saeran grasps your elbow to steady you then almost instantly retreats. "I-I thought you were ins-side," you finally stammer, your teeth chattering.

"How long have you been out here?"

You shrug and give him a small smile as you try to inconspicuously shake feeling back into your limbs. "I d-don't know. The s-sun was c-certainly higher."

You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to stop your body from shivering. You grapple with something to say; all the different speeches you've composed in your mind as you sat cold and alone outside his apartment fled your mind the instant your gaze met his. Now you find yourself completely bereft of what you wanted to say in the first place. You open your mouth to speak then close it quickly when the umbrella's handle is abruptly shoved at you.

"Go home," Saeran says as coldly as he can manage. He turns away from you and moves towards the gate, his hands shaking. You have to go and it has to be now before he takes back all the lies that broke his heart to say.

"I'm s-sorry," you shout above the noise of the rain, trying to get the words out as fast as you can before he disappears. "I d-didn't mean t-the things I s-said."

He glances back at you over his shoulder to see that instead of holding the umbrella over your head, it hangs limp at your side. He sighs in irritation and walks back to you, grabbing your wrist and lifting it so you are once again under its shelter. "I did," he bites out, tightening his grip on your wrist slightly to emphasize his point before lightly shoving your arm away from him and quickly turning before you can see the cost of yet another lie.

"S-Saeran, please. I-I m-miss you," you plead almost desperately and his head drops forward in defeat. Anger he could handle, he understood it; but this, the raw emotion in your voice is too much for him. He doesn't know how to navigate through the feelings that are churning inside him at your declaration and his eyes close, his hands fisting with the urgency to draw you into his embrace and never let you go.

Him; you missed _him._ Even with no one around but you and Saeyoung, you missed him. You noticed his absence; you were thinking about him. These thoughts loop rapidly through his head until it's a mantra that he repeats silently to himself. Perhaps all those nights this past month when he dreamed about your beautiful smile, you were dreaming of him too. Saeran's heart pounds painfully against his chest, the foreign feeling of hope spreading through his extremities and making him lightheaded. With some difficulty he is able to overcome the tidal wave of emotions that are trying to drown him and slowly unfurls his fists.

"S-Saeran," you begin timidly, unsure if you should approach him.

He turns his head, eyes still clamped shut. "Come in out of the rain," he finally says before opening his eyes and pushing the gate open.

* * *

You quickly rush to follow when you realize you're about to once again be shut out on the sidewalk, managing to catch the heavy gate before it latches. You break into a jog to catch up with Saeran's long strides, happiness and apprehension fighting for dominance inside you. The chill that has made you shiver for the past hour has seemed to have finally been able to permeate your bones, causing your coordination to become clumsy. You lurch after Saeran up the staircase, managing to tangle your feet within the third step and you go down hard on one knee.

Saeran turns at your cry of pain and rushes back down to help you to your feet. "Be careful, idiot," he reprimands though there is no heat in his words.

"S-Sorry," you manage to say, tenderly touching the wound on your knee to assess the damage. A small trickle of blood seeps from the small wound and you hiss through your teeth at the sharp pain that accompanies your exploration.

"Wrap your arms around my neck," Saeran orders gruffly, his eyes avoiding yours.

Hesitantly you wrap your arms around him and he grasps you behind your knees and back and grunts lightly as he picks you up.

"T-This is not necessary," you manage to get out even as you snuggle into his warmth. "It's j-just a s-scratch."

"Shut up," he demands, his teeth clenched as if in pain.

You do as he commands and stay silent as he easily bears your weight up the staircase. He sets you down in front of what you assume is the entrance to his residence and follow him in when he steps through the dark threshold.

"You should take a hot shower," he comments over his shoulder, flipping on the lights and throwing his keys onto the coffee table. He disappears into the next room, quickly returning with a t-shirt and sweatpants, holding them out to you while avoiding your gaze. "They'll be too big but anything is better than catching your death in those wet clothes you're wearing." You accept the small bundle he offers you with a whispered thanks and head for the only other door in the small apartment. "There are bandages and antiseptic under the sink," he calls out after you. "Take care of that wound; I don't want you staining my clothes."

"G-Got it," you answer without a backwards glance, quickly closing the bathroom door and leaning against it heavily. Your heart beats wildly against your chest, your body still remembering the way he felt pressed against you. _He probably only did it because he thought you'd fall and break your neck._ Shaking your head ruefully at yourself, you turn the shower on as hot as you can stand it and sigh in pleasure as the scalding water beats down against your head. The bone deep chill you've been feeling for the past couple of hours finally begins to thaw and you can't help the small moan that escapes your throat.

A loud bang on the door startles you. "Are you alright in there?" Saeran calls out in a flat voice and you realize you must have slipped into a daze since the water is now running cold. Quickly you turn off the faucets and exit the shower.

"I'm fine, thanks," you answer, rapidly running the soft cotton towel he supplied over your body and treating the still oozing wound on your knee before slipping into the borrowed clothing. The sweats are too long and the waist too large but you make quick work of fashioning the adjustments needed to make them comfortable, if not attractive. As you slip the thin t-shirt over your head, you realize it's one of Saeran's favorites and you smile. Your smile quickly fades, however, as you hook your soaked bra over the shower rod to dry and realize your nipples are clearly visible through the thin material of his shirt. Taking a deep breath to gather your courage, you exit the steamy bathroom, shielding your chest the best you can while trying to avoid letting the wet clothes touch your body.

"Finally," Saeran mutters, reaching for the damp bundle, his brows furrowing in confusion when you hold onto them tightly.

"Do you have a...hoodie...or something...please," you ask desperately, keeping your death grip on the small pile of clothing in your hands.

"Let go," he snaps, trying to pull the wet material from your grasp. "I can't dry them if you won't give them to me." With one more firm tug he finally manages to snatch the balled up cloth from your hands, his face immediately turning red as his eyes are drawn to the two hard peaks jutting out from your shirt. Fumbling not to drop the small parcel, he clears his throat; averting his eyes to somewhere just above your head. "There's a hoodie on the back of the couch; help yourself. There's also japjae in the kitchen; make yourself comfortable and I'll bring you some."

Arms crossed firmly across your chest you race to find the aforementioned jacket. You gratefully slip your arms into it and as you zip it up, you're immediately overwhelmed with Saeran's essence. You sink down onto the soft cushions of the couch, burying your nose in the fabric surrounding your body. If you close your eyes and let yourself imagine for just a moment, it feels as if his strong arms are embracing you. Visions of him laying you down on this very surface, covering your body with his and pressing his lips gently against the pulse point of your neck overtake your senses and you bite your lip, your fingers clutching tightly to the front of the soft fabric. Almost immediately guilt assaults you as Saeran's green eyed gaze is replaced with your husband's golden one; the lips pressed so passionately against your skin morphing into those of your spouse.

Your fantasy is thankfully interrupted when Saeran nudges your shoulder with a bowl filled with the sweet and savory noodle dish. You jump slightly and accept the proffered dish, pulling your legs under you as you take a small bite. Suddenly your stomach growls loudly and Saeran laughs, taking the seat next to you. "Have you eaten at all today?"

You shake your head, now methodically shoving the delicious cuisine into your mouth. "I was where you found me most of the day," you stop long enough to answer. You miss the way he flinches and the guilty look that mars his handsome face.

"You could have called," he mutters sullenly.

It's your turn to laugh and you poke him with your chopsticks. "I've been trying to call you, asshole; and text. It's not my fault you decided to completely cut me out of your life."

"Apparently I didn't do a good enough job, did I? What are you doing here?" His voice is gruff and he pokes at his food without taking a bite.

"Because Saeyoung thought it would be a good idea if we patched things up. It would certainly be better for him if we were at least on speaking terms again, don't you think?"

"Wait," Saeran says softly, his face unreadable. He stands and moves to the window. Something shifts in his gaze and his body becomes still. "You came because of him?"

You set your now empty bowl on the coffee table and lean forward earnestly. "I came because of _you_ , Saeran. I've missed you. I wake up every morning feeling like something is missing and I go to bed at night feeling the emptiness of your room. You may have meant all those things you said to me but I didn't. I've regretted every word that came out of my mouth that morning, especially after…"

Your voice trails off still not brave enough to actually talk about what started this whole mess. Saeran's body unfreezes and he glances quickly through the blinds before gathering your bowl and returning it to the kitchen. "It's still raining; when it stops I'll walk you home." He pauses then clears his throat. "I think it would be best if you didn't come back. I left for a reason and you being here….complicates things."

"Alright," you agree quietly, fingers twisting the hem of your borrowed hoodie. "I can leave now if you don't mind me borrowing your umbrella. It's not necessary for you to walk me home; I've taken up enough of your time this evening.

Your brother-in-law scowls at you. "Don't be stupid, of course I'll walk you home. It's dangerous for a woman to walk alone at night. If something bad happened to you I...Saeyoung...would never forgive me."

"Well since we're stuck here for now can we at least pretend to be friends? If memory serves, we used to do a good job of having fun together."

Saeran's heart clenches painfully; how is he supposed to pretend to be your friend and keep his distance when all he's been able to think of since seeing the outline of your pert nipples is wrapping his lips around one and hearing you moan in pleasure. The only other option is to throw you out into the stormy night which is really not an option at all. He clears his throat and tries to mask the lust in his voice when he answers. "Sure," he forces a smile, his heart skipping a beat when you grace him with one of your most beautiful smiles. "I have ice cream, do you want some?"

You laugh in delight. "Of course you have ice cream. Is there enough for both of us? I doubt you've been eating much more than that since you left."

Saeran scoffs. "Of course there's enough. And I do eat regularly. There's a girl at the corner store who keeps forcing me to take home dishes her grandmother prepares for me."

You raise an eyebrow and try to push down the jealousy you suddenly feel. "A girl, huh? Is she pretty?"

He shrugs and heads to the kitchen to grab the container of ice cream and a couple of spoons. Returning, he vaults over the back of the couch, holding out one utensil to you before opening the sweet treat and digging in. "She's alright, I guess," he finally answers your question. "Not nearly as pretty as you but-" He immediately snaps his mouth shut, color suffusing his neck and creeping up into his cheeks.

Your heart swells with his words, your hands slightly shaking as you reach over to scoop up a small bite of strawberry ice cream. Choosing to ignore his words, you grab the remote and start flipping through the channels. Finally you find an old episode of your favorite drama, then bounce in excitement and hide the remote from Saeran's grasping hands. "I'm the guest! I get to choose what we watch," you declare then stick your tongue out.

For the next hour you are both engrossed in the story of an alien that falls in love with a human but tries to keep his distance from her since he will be leaving Earth in a matter of months. The episode happened to be one of the saddest of the series and by the time the credits roll, you have stolen the container of ice cream to clutch against your chest and wipe the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand.

"Wasn't that beautiful," you sniff, relinquishing the almost empty carton to Saeran when he tries to pry it from your hands.

The redhead scoffs. "He tried to warn her from the beginning. All that heartbreak could have been avoided if she just listened when he tried to tell her he didn't care about her."

"But then they would have missed out on all those special moments they shared. Did you see how happy they were when they realized they both felt the same? Love should never be repressed; it's better to just let it out because you never know how the other person feels."

An awkward silence falls between you when you realize that what you've just declared is eerily close to your current situation. You lift your last spoonful of ice cream to your mouth as Saeran begins flipping back through the channels but freeze with it halfway to your mouth when you see Zen's handsome face flash quickly across the screen before the channel changes.

You squeal loudly and jump to your knees, shoving Saeran's shoulder in excitement. "That was Zen! Zen was on TV! Go back, quick!" He flips back a few channels but whatever it had been is now over. "Where's my phone?! I need to call him. This is so exciting! I can't _believe_ he didn't tell me about this."

"You do realize it's past midnight?" Saeran comments dryly.

"Pffft, Zen won't care. We often talk until the sun comes up." In your excitement you bump into Saeran, causing his wrist to jerk, spilling his last bite of dessert onto the floor. "Oh...wow...um...sorry," you apologize, thoughts of Zen immediately forgotten when you see the glare Saeran shoots you. "Was that actually the last bite?" You ask sheepishly and he shakes his head slowly.

His eyes move to the spoon in your hand that is still miraculously full. "Not the last, no," he says slowly, a grin spreading across his face. "I do believe that since you ruined my dessert experience you must forfeit your last bite."

You pull your arm back away from his reach. "You just made that up," you pout. "Come on, Saeran, it's my favorite."

"Mine too, why do you think I bought it?" His eyebrows raise in question and you squeal again as he stands and makes a move to grab your wrist.

"I claim guest rights," you shout, quickly moving away from his advances.

"That's only in fantasy novels, idiot. And I'm not going to kill you; I'm just going to claim what's mine."

Without thinking, you swiftly shove the spoon into your mouth, the frozen treat immediately melting against your tongue. "Ha," you gloat, once more sticking out your tongue. You can see the subtle move of his body before he reaches for you and you scream in laughter, turning to run around the couch where he can't reach you.

"You are in so much trouble when I catch you," he threatens but she can clearly see the smile on his face.

" _If_ you can catch me," you retort with a giggle.

When he lunges for you, you try to vault over the sofa but the long sweatpants you had painstakingly rolled up above your ankles have come undone and your legs get tangled in the material. You manage to land on your back into the soft cushions and almost immediately Saeran is on top of you, his legs straddling your hips and pinning your wrists above your head.

You stare at one another, chests heaving with mirth. Small bouts of giggles burst from your throat as you try to twist away from his grasp before accepting the fact that he has you well and truly trapped. "Well, it seems you've captured me, Mr. Choi. Now just what are you going to

do to me?"

Saeran's eyes darkened but his smile remained. Vaguely you wonder what his eyes would look like as he buried himself in you but you quickly push the thought away, managing to keep your playful demeanor with herculean effort. You raise your hips in a vain attempt to knock him off balance and he laughs, the fingers wrapped around your wrists tightening slightly.

"First things first," he begins, releasing one wrist to wipe the corner of your mouth where a small bit of ice cream has comfortably lodged itself. He spreads the bit of sweetness over your mouth, his smile slowly fading as the pad of his thumb traces the softness of your lips. He then sucks the ice cream from his own digit, the desire you had glimpsed that night in the kitchen reappears though immensely more intense.

You reach up to touch his cheek and he recoils from your touch, averting his eyes though he doesn't make a move to let you up. "Saeran," you call softly, a gasp of surprise freezing in your throat when his gaze returns to yours. His eyes are moist with unshed tears. "What's wrong? Did I do something?"

He lets out a soft puff of laughter and shakes his head. "No, this is all my doing and I can't do it anymore." Releasing your other wrist, he moves to cup your face, holding your gaze with his. "I lied, MC," he begins, his thumbs caressing your skin with feather light strokes. "Everything that came out of my mouth that morning was a lie. I was scared; I panicked and grasped onto the only thing I knew would hurt you. I needed to get away from you and it's the only way I knew how to do it."

Your brows furrow in confusion. "Get away from me? Why? I thought we got along fine. I don't know what I did to drive you away."

Grabbing one of your hands, Saeran places it over his racing heart, his eyes closing at the contact of your hand on him. "Do you feel that? Do you feel the way it races? You don't even have to touch me for that to happen. Merely being around you is killing me. And then I have to sit and watch while you and Saeyoung have the perfect marriage and at night-" He abruptly stops talking, taking a deep breath to steady himself. "So...I lied. You don't mean nothing to me, MC. You mean _everything_ to me. I'm so much in love with you that I don't even know how to live without you; even if it is from a distance."

Tears leak from your eyes to dampen your temples as you watch Saeran's torment. You know how hard this must be for him to admit and all you want to do in this moment is comfort him. The feelings you've been burying down below the surface burst forth, your love for him causing your heart to race so fast it makes you lightheaded. "H-How long?"

"From the beginning; before the beginning; my head was so fucked up for so long that I can't even remember a time I didn't love you." He pauses, his index finger tracing the curve of your cheek; a drop of wetness falls onto your skin and you realize he's crying. "I remember seeing you when I was in the hospital; I was worse on those days. It killed me for you to see me that way. So I lashed out so that you would leave but you never did. You stayed right there by my side. Saeyoung came less and less as he made the preparations for me to leave but he knew I wouldn't feel lonely with you there; and I didn't. By then I cherished your presence; the sound of your voice as you read to me as I pretended to ignore you. Now...now I love you so much I have to let you go. I can't pretend anymore that I don't wish you were mine." His forehead drops to yours, his eyes closed in agony.

Your hands move slowly to his head, your fingers burying themselves in his soft curls. "Can I talk now? I think there are some things you need to know." You wait for him to nod and smile slightly. "You aren't alone, Saeran. I...I have feelings for you too." His body freezes though his head snaps up to meet your gaze. "I think I have for a while; maybe even as far back as the hospital. For a while those visits were the highlight of my day. I didn't realize then what I was feeling, only that I enjoyed being with you. But," you take a breath and lick your sticky lips, knowing you're about to crush this beautiful man's heart and it will always taste of strawberries. "I love Saeyoung; I married Saeyoung. I could never do anything to hurt him."

"I love him too," Saeran whispers, his thumb caressing your face. "The last thing in the world I would ever want to do is hurt him or come between the two of you. But does that mean we have to suffer in silence just so my brother can be happy? And if he ever somehow found out about….whatever this is….do you think he would be happy that we suffered for his sake?"

"No but," you begin then shake your head. "I don't have all the answers, all I know is that I love my husband but I also love you and it's tearing me apa-"

Your words are smothered by the press of Saeran's lips against yours. In your daydreams, Saeran's kisses are sweet and timid; in reality you are instantly a pool of desire as his tongue slips into your mouth and dominates your own seeking muscle. You clutch tightly to his shoulders, your nails digging into his flesh. Saeran tilts his head slightly then his tongue plunges deeper into the cavern of your mouth. His groan of need shoots straight to the core of you and your cunt throbs in answer. You know this is oh so _wrong_ but all you want in this moment is Saeran's cock buried deep inside of you.

He sits, still straddling your hips and unzips your borrowed hoodie with trembling hands. He lets out a slow breath as he parts the material that has been hiding your breasts the whole evening. Carefully, his gaze locked on yours for any sign of resistance, he ghosts his fingers over the hard peaks of your breasts. You cry out in pleasure, your back arching off the soft surface beneath you. Palming your breasts he leans back down to claim your mouth, your tongues giving and taking; fighting and relenting.

Saeran's mouth moves to your ear, his hot breath sending tingles of desire throughout your body. "Why him," he asks, his voice thick with desire. "Why couldn't you wait just a little while longer? Why did it have to be my brother? If you had waited just a little longer, this wouldn't be wrong. Just a little bit longer, MC, and we would never have to leave the bed. I would be yours and you would be mine." His voice finally breaks and he reclaims your mouth, his tears mixing with yours.

His hands move to the hem of your shirt, easily slipping under to touch your bare skin. Immediately he sits up with a worried frown. Your skin is on fire, much warmer than any flush of desire should be; his eyes dart up to look at your face and Saeran's frown deepens. Your cheeks are scarlet red and when he touches your forehead he immediately retracts his hand. It appears your temperature has been steadily rising throughout the evening and it seems you've now developed a dangerously high fever.

Moving quickly, Saeran gently helps you sit and remove the hoodie and sweatpants, purposely averting his eyes from below your waist, before carefully carrying you to his bed. Once he sees you settled, he finds some aspirin in the medicine cabinet and draws a glass of water from the kitchen before sitting next to you on the bed.

"Saeyoung," you mutter, your eyes closed in pain. Slowly you open your eyes and smile, reaching up to touch your caretaker's face. "No, not Saeyoung; Saeran, my beautiful disaster."

"Hey," he answers shakily, placing an arm around your shoulders to help you sit. "You've got a pretty high fever, beautiful. Do you think you can swallow this medicine for me?" You nod weakly and allow him to place the two white tablets on your tongue then hold the glass of water to your mouth. "Good girl," he praises you, trying not to let the fear in his voice be heard. "Just try to rest; I'll get a cloth for your head." You make a noncommittal sound, your body already falling into a restless slumber.

Saeran moves slowly to the bathroom and grabs a clean washcloth, tightly gripping the sink's edge as he waits for the water to warm up. Of course this is his fault. Wasn't everything else? If he had just answered _one_ of your calls or texts today, you wouldn't have stood out there in the rain for God knows how long. "Fuck," he mutters under his breath, the urge to break something almost overwhelming. Not only had he allowed the woman he loves to get sick, there was also now do doubt that he betrayed his brother. There was no explaining this one away. If you had not developed a fever, there was no doubt in Saeran's mind that the two of you would be happily naked in his bed right this second.

How many more ways is he going to fuck over the people he cares about? Only time will tell if tonight's events fixed anything or completely broke them all apart. All he knows is that there will be no more running; no more hiding; no more denying what he feels. Somehow there will be a resolution to this situation; and it will start right now.

After waiting for the water to turn lukewarm, Saeran soaks the washcloth, wringing it out to make sure there is no dripping before moving quietly back into the room to place it on your forehead. Without thinking, he leans over and softly kisses your cheek, smiling when you let out a contented sigh. "I love you," you murmur and for once it doesn't sting him to hear it; he now knows for certain that you love them both.

Leaving the room as quietly as possible, he leaves the door cracked and grabs his phone from the kitchen counter. Taking a deep breath, he lets it out slowly and dials his twin's number.


	6. For The Sake Of Us Part 1

**Chapter 5: For The Sake Of Us Part 1**

A/N:

The next two chapters feature Saeyoung heavily. Finally we get to see what is going on in his head and how he feels. I'm sorry it's taken so long to update but honestly I had a problem getting back into Saeyoung's head space and after being in Saeran's for so long. BUT once I was there, this turned into a beast of a chapter. So much so that this chapter is actually broken into two parts. I will be honest and say that the next couple of chapters may be hard to read for some but everything is leading up to good things. It's always darkest before the dawn, after all.

Extra special thanks to Emimilykity. I seriously would not have gotten as far as I have in this chapter without her. She has been invaluable; never afraid to tell me when something doesn't make sense or needs improvement and cheering me on when I get it right. And she obsesses over the twins with me which is helpful in itself.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the first part of this chapter. The "playlist" is below as usual. Keep in mind this will also be the playlist for the next part with a couple of songs added for the smut that you have to look forward to. ;)

Sad Song (feat. Elena Coats) - We The Kings  
I Get To Love You - Ruelle  
Shadow - Birdy

* * *

It takes twenty seven hours, thirteen minutes for your fever to break. Saeran knows the exact amount of time as he's been awake for the entirety, restlessly watching over you. The vice that's been around his chest finally loosens and he breathes a sigh of relief, brushing back strands of hair that cling to your damp forehead. Grabbing his phone, he sends off a quick text to his brother letting him know you are better then tosses it onto the nightstand.

Standing he stretches and yawns, exhaustion finally hitting him. From the moment you entered his bed until now his attention has been focused solely on you; only leaving your side long enough for short bathroom breaks or to refill the glass of water that sits beside the bed. Now he recovers you with the blanket you have managed to kick off for the hundredth time and shifts indecisively. He's bone tired and wants nothing more than to at least catch a nap before you need him again but the only other place to sleep is the sofa. He quickly discards the notion of leaving you alone and carefully sinks onto the soft surface beside you, leaning back against the wooden headboard.

When he's settled you suddenly stir and throw an arm around his legs, your face nuzzling his thigh before you mumble something incomprehensible and sigh deeply, falling back into a restful sleep. Saeran's body stiffens then slowly relaxes looking down at your sleeping form with a small smile. He strokes your head gently then finally leans his head back against the hard surface and closes his eyes, sleep quickly claiming him.

A sudden pounding on his front door breaks the silence of the small apartment. His head jerks up from where it has fallen forward in slumber, colliding painfully with the headboard. "What the…," he mutters, rubbing the back of his now throbbing head. Temporarily disoriented, he blinks at your still sleeping form, your rest miraculously undisturbed despite the continued battering of someone's fist against the door.

"Saeran!" He rolls his eyes and sighs in irritation at his brother's voice outside his apartment. Carefully he frees himself from your embrace and wearily gets up from the comfort of his bed, glancing at the clock to see that only an hour has passed since slipping in next to you. Hearing another round of loud knocks, he moves quickly to open the front door before Saeyoung knocks it down. "Where is she?" His twin questions, pushing past Saeran as soon as the door is open.

"Sleeping like any other normal person would be at this hour," Saeran answers irritably, following his brother's direct route to the bedroom. Covering a jaw popping yawn, he leans against the doorframe watching Saeyoung lean over you, placing a hand on your forehead. His shoulders finally sag in relief, the tension visibly draining from his body. "If you're satisfied that I haven't killed her and hidden the body can we go sit in the other room? She needs rest and with all your overdramatics you're going to disturb it."

Without waiting for an answer, Saeran pushes away from his slouched pose and disappears into the living area. Throwing himself down onto the sofa, he sighs knowing that sleep is not something he'll be able to indulge in until his brother has some answers.

"God, I'm tired," Saeyoung sighs sinking onto the other end of the sofa. Removing his glasses he rubs his eyes, slumping back onto the cushions.

Saeran grunts. "Shouldn't you have been here yesterday afternoon? If you weren't going to come back when I called, couldn't you have least waited until the sun was up before disturbing the neighbors with your bellowing?"

"I tried to get here sooner. There was a meeting I couldn't miss; my flight was redirected due to weather then delayed. I finally just rented a car and drove the rest of the way. I've been on the road for the past eight hours."

"Then I guess you haven't checked your phone? I just sent you a text an hour ago telling you everything was fine. There was no need to rush over here at this hour."

Replacing his glasses, Saeyoung gives his brother a hard stare. "'No need to rush over'? When I last spoke to you, you sounded like she was dying or something."

Saeran's face colors slightly. "I may have overreacted a bit," he admits sheepishly.

Saeyoung raises an eyebrow. "Well it's nice to hear I'm not going to be a widower already but what happened anyway? When I left she was fine."

The smaller man closes his eyes and shakes his head, knowing his brother is going to be angry and he can't even blame him. Then he remembers that it was Saeyoung's suggestion that gave you the push to try and reconcile and the guilt that rushed back to the forefront is combined with anger at his brother's interference. "Well, because you told MC she should just show up here despite me trying to maintain no contact, she ended up standing in the rain for God knows how long waiting for me to either arrive or leave; I'm still not sure which."

"Neither, actually," you croak from the bedroom's threshold. Your throat is dry and sore making it difficult to speak. You clear it and swallow painfully before continuing. "I was trying to work up the courage to press the buzzer. It appears I'm not quite fearless as you thought, Saeyoung." You give your husband a small smile, your heart clenching when he returns it wholeheartedly.

Both men jump to their feet, whatever fatigue they suffer forgotten. Saeran makes it to your side first entwining his fingers with those of the hand that hangs loosely at your side. He reaches up and caresses your hair, tucking it behind your ear and gazing at you with worry. "How are you feeling?" You blink up at him, his unconstrained show of affection taking you by surprise. The feel of him holding your hand makes your heart begin to race, his green eyes holding your gaze on him. He squeezes your fingers and the tips of your ears begin to burn remembering his lips pressed against yours, his hands on your breasts.

Saeyoung clears his throat loudly, breaking whatever spell has come over you. Saeran drops your hand quickly and steps back, his cheeks pink. You draw a shaky breath, the door frame giving you dearly needed support. You force yourself to look at your husband who is appraising you with a raised eyebrow.

"Interesting choice of attire," he finally says, reminding you that the only piece of clothing you are currently wearing is his brother's thin t-shirt. You immediately cross your arms, covering your chest from the two sets of eyes that are now unknowingly staring at your breasts.

"Oh right," Saeran speaks up, grabbing the hoodie that had been discarded onto the couch and handing it to you. You smile at him gratefully, your heart skipping a beat when his fingers brush against yours briefly. "I forgot to get your clothes out of the dryer. I'll be right back."

You and Saeyoung both watch him leave the room then lock eyes. You bite your lip at the unreadable expression in his, slipping your arms through the sleeves of Saeran's jacket and zipping it up. "What's going on?" Saeyoung asks quietly and you drop your eyes, shame suddenly assaulting you.

You can feel tears gathering in the corners of your eyes and you squeeze them tightly, trying not to let them fall. Saeran reenters the room, setting your neatly folded clothes on the sofa. He leans on the back of the large piece of furniture, supporting his weight on his hands. You lift your eyes to stare at your husband's twin, his posture straightening at the determination he sees in them. He shakes his head so slightly you question if you actually saw it but you give a nod in answer. _We have to tell him_. Saeran closes his eyes briefly and heaves a sigh before returning your nod curtly.

You move your gaze to the bespectacled twin, your pulse pounding in your head. One tear escapes and tracks its way down your cheek. You reach up and swipe it away, offering up a small prayer that you aren't about to ruin your marriage. "Saeyoung, we need to talk."

Saeyoung's golden eyes dart back and forth rapidly between you and his brother before finally settling on you. You can see the panic beginning to build in him, his eyes widening ever so slightly. You know his thoughts are running a mile a minute trying to figure out what he's stepped into. You open your mouth to try to alleviate some of his distress but he speaks before you can utter a word.

"Is this one of those 'I'm leaving you for your brother' conversations?" He tries to make the question sound humorous but you can tell he's actually frightened of the answer. His posture is stiff, his breathing somewhat increased.

"No!" The simultaneous exclamations of horror from both you and Saeran has an instant effect on him, some of the tension draining out of him. His shoulders relax slightly though the panicked gleam in his eyes remains.

"So, what? Did you two sleep together or something?" He chuckles nervously, his smile slowly fading when your face turns red.

"No," you begin slowly the denial not quite a question, your gaze darting quickly to Saeran in a silent plea for help. Your memories of that night are fuzzy at best, the last thing you remember being the taste of his tears mixed with your own. Your husband's face is slowly draining of color and you find that you're unable to get any more words past the lump in your throat. You didn't think this was going to be easy but you're finding it even harder than you imagined.

Saeran sighs and rubs a hand over his face roughly before speaking into the silence that's fallen. "I kissed her," he confesses quietly, avoiding his brother's eyes.

"We kissed each other," you're quick to correct, able to take an easier breath now that the truth is out.

Saeyoung stares at his brother, his face a storm of emotions. He tilts his head to the side in question. "Like...on the lips? With tongue and everything?"

Saeran tilts his head back, sighing again at the ceiling in irritation. "Jesus, Saeyoung, can you please be an adult for once? Yes, on the lips. Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to make things harder for the guy who stuck his tongue in my wife's mouth," Saeyoung responds sarcastically, blood rushing back into his face.

"I mean harder on you, jackass. You know, the guy who sent his wife over to his brother's place knowing-or at least suspecting-what could happen." Saeran's own anger is rapidly building inside him, his voice rising in volume. "What the hell are you playing at anyway, Saeyoung? You have an idea of why I moved out; why I cut off contact with her. I know you do because we've been dancing around the fucking issue for a month. You're an idiot but you aren't stupid. Even so, you thought it was a good idea to encourage her to come see me? Alone, at that?"

"Because she was miserable!" Saeyoung's focus remains on his brother, his eyes and body turned toward his twin. "You were both miserable. I thought I could trust you to not let your hormones control you."

"I've loved her longer than you've even known her," Saeran shouts, hands fisting at his sides. Chest heaving, he glares at his twin, managing with effort to lower his voice. "I have stood in the background and watched for years. My hormones aren't the problem, it's my heart that I can't control anymore and I don't want to. I'm tired of being nothing more than background noise; sick of feeling like you and I are in a race where I'm always just one step behind."

"So you decide to just cheat and steal the prize for yourself?"

"Enough," you cry faintly, releasing the door frame and pushing yourself in the direction of the arguing duo. When you go unheard, you push past the fire in your throat and scream for them to stop. The anger in your voice makes them both tear their eyes away from the other and look at you. "That's enough! I'm not going to stand here and listen to you two fight over me like I'm some prized possession."

The twins are stunned into silence, their faces red. Your eyes dart back and forth between them, silently daring them to say anything else. Finally your glare comes to rest on your husband. Your face softens at the uncertainty you see in his eyes, your heart clenching painfully that you are the cause of it. Guilt causes you to look away and you manage to avoid both sets of eyes that each plead silently for something different. Your anger fades away as you realize the impossible situation you are all in and you swipe a lone tear from your cheek with the back of your hand. You move across the room to grab your shorts from the sofa and slip them on quickly.

Saeyoung lifts a hand to touch you and you flinch. Buttoning your clothing with trembling hands you shake your head again and meet his liquid golden eyes. "Please don't touch me," you manage to whisper, your tears coming faster. You give up trying to wipe them away and let them track crookedly down your face. "I'm so close to losing it right now. If you touch me I'm going to break apart."

Saeyoung nods in understanding and drops his hand, watching as you clumsily grab the remainder of your clothing and stuff it into your handbag. His eyes follow your movement to the front door where you slip on your sandals and straighten to grasp the door's knob. You open the door and begin to move through the threshold before you pause and look back at the two men who are staring at you with all the love in the world. "When you two have calmed down we all need to sit down and talk...together. Before that both of you should know that I don't regret what happened but I will disappear before I let my love be the reason you are estranged again." With those words you quickly step into the hall, pulling the door firmly shut behind you.

* * *

Saeyoung's heart stops at the click of the door closing. Panic rises up in him like a tidal wave and he immediately wants to race after you but his feet will not cooperate. His body is numb with shock, the world around him shrinking down until all he is aware of is the harsh, ragged sound of his breathing.

He makes a staggering move toward the door when he is stopped short by the restraining hand wrapped around his bicep. He glares at his brother angrily, trying to shake off his vice like grip. "Let go, Saeran. I don't know about you but living without her is not an option for me. I won't let her just disappear."

"She's not going to disappear," Saeran replies, loosening his grip slightly when Saeyoung winces with pain. "Right now she's angry and probably overwhelmed; she's lashing out."

Saeyoung finally succeeds in shaking off his brother's touch and straightens his jacket. "I suppose you know her better than I do now?"

Saeran shakes his head slowly and leans against the back of the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest. "No, but I have a lot of experience in lashing out when I'm scared. This...thing...between she and I didn't happen overnight but it's only been a couple of days since she realized what she's feeling. A couple of days where she's been delirious with fever and not had a chance to actually process her emotions; give her some time to think, Saeyoung."

"I can't lose her," Saeyoung answers shakily, running a hand through his tousled hair. "And I can't just sit around here waiting for her to decide if she's going to vanish or not. I'm going after her." Without waiting for his brother to answer, Saeyoung rushes out of the apartment and down the stairway in pursuit.

He doesn't think you could have gotten far with your body in its weakened state but when he makes it out to the sidewalk you are nowhere to be seen. Frantically looking in one direction then the other, Saeyoung groans aloud and pulls out his smartphone. Silently he says a prayer of thanks that he installed the tracking program months ago even if you had insisted he also allow you to track him if needed. As far as he knows, you have completely forgotten about the app at this point.

Saeyoung taps on the app's icon and waits impatiently for it to load up. He sighs in relief when a map of the city pops up with the dot that represents you moving steadily through a nearby park. Your husband begins running in your direction, eager to feel the reassuring solidness of you in his embrace. No matter what happened while he was gone, he knows two things for certain; you love him and you would have never let Saeran touch you if you didn't have feelings for him too.

He races down the now sun-dappled street, eyes glued to the screen of his phone. Following the small dot on the screen, he eventually finds you sitting on a secluded bench, arms wrapped around your middle as your shoulders shake in grief.

Saeyoung approaches you slowly, shoving his phone in the pocket of his jacket before sinking down beside you. He carefully drapes an arm across your shoulders, sighing in relief when you lean into him with no hesitation. He pulls you to him tightly, burying his face in your hair. "I don't care what happens, you _cannot_ disappear on me," he whispers brokenly. You bury your face in his chest, inhaling his scent deeply. Immediately you feel like you're home and your arms snake around his waist to hold on for dear life.

"I'm so sorry," you cry, your voice muffled by his jacket. "I just missed him so much and I felt that I needed to apologize because he's your only family. I didn't realize that I cared about him so much and now I can't even remember everything that happened that night. I didn't mean-"

"Shh," he interrupts your rapid flow of words soothingly."Right now you need to focus on getting better. Just because your fever is gone doesn't mean that you aren't ill. We can talk about...everything...when you're better."

"Do you hate me," you venture to question in a small voice, unable to look up and meet his gaze.

Saeyoung laughs and places a kiss on the top of your head ."I couldn't hate you even if I wanted to." Standing, he pulls you to your feet, grasping your elbow tightly when you begin to sway dangerously. "Jesus, how did you manage to make it all the way over here?" Not expecting an answer, he swiftly lifts you in his arms. Too weak to protest you merely rest your head against his familiar shoulder, letting your eyes close in exhaustion.

You don't feel him make his way back to the rented sportscar or when he places you into the passenger seat though you are aware of the pressure of his hand wrapped around yours as he drives you home. You do not regain consciousness until the heavy iron door of your third step of security slams shut behind you. Jumping in surprise, Saeyoung's arms tighten around you before you can fall from his grasp.

Pushing gently but insistently against your husband's chest he finally allows you to gain your feet, being sure to keep a steadying hand on your elbow. Straightening your back you step away from his calm reassurance. "I need a shower desperately," you comment, your nose scrunching up in disgust. "I can't believe I let you touch me with how dirty I am." You peel the damp cloth of your borrowed shirt and hoodie away from your chest and scowl down at your moist skin.

Saeyoung grasps your wrist and pulls you against him, quickly wrapping his arms tightly around you before you can object. "You could be covered in mud from the top of your head to the tips of your cute little toes and you would still be beautiful." He brushes his lips against yours, groaning in disappointment when you pull away.

"Saeyoung…," you bite your lip, your eyes holding his golden ones. "We really have to talk about what happened."

Your husband places two fingers on your lips to silence you then traces the shape of your mouth lightly. "We will," he promises. "The situation will still be there in a few days. I expect you'll recover pretty quickly so just be patient, my goddess."

"Promise me," you say quietly, your fingers grasping Saeyoung wrist and pressing tightly. "Swear that you will not run away. This is important...to all of us."

"I'm not going anywhere," Saeyoung answers with a small smile, reaching up to softly caress your cheek. "Do you need help getting in the shower?"

You recognize his change of subject and shake your head. "I can manage, thanks. If you could make some coffee while I'm in there that would be so helpful though."

Saeyoung drops a kiss on your forehead and grins as he begins to back away from you. "Your wish is my command, darling."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later you emerge from the overheated bathroom, Saeyoung's oversized flannel robe wrapped around your naked body. You can smell the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee and follow your nose to the kitchen. Expecting to see your husband leaning against the kitchen counter, you are surprised to find the room empty. A dull ball of dread settles in your stomach making the rich smell of coffee in the air turn sour. He promised not to run and you wanted to believe in him but if he isn't running, then where is he? Did you and Saeran hurt him so badly that he can no longer look at the two of you? You're positive that Saeyoung still has the ways and means to disappear into thin air if he wants to. The thought makes your hands begin to shake with trepidation.

Before you can explode into full blown panic you see a small folded up piece of paper sitting under your favorite mug. Slowly letting out the breath you didn't realize you'd been holding, you unfold the small square, your eyes quickly devouring your husband's handwriting.

 _ **Something's come up, I have to go out for a while.**_

 _ **I will try to be home before dark.**_

 _ **Get some rest.**_

 _ **I love you.**_

Tears prick the corners of your eyes at his short, to the point, note. All you want to do right now is curl up in your bed together and feel your husband's strong arms embracing you. You need his physical reassurance that he will forgive you for your lapse in judgement with his brother. Instead you prepare a cup of steaming coffee, blowing on it absent mindedly as you make your way to the living room and sink down onto the plush cushions of the couch. Worst case scenarios run through your mind and you bite your lip, cradling the warm cup in your suddenly freezing hands. What if this situation is just too much for Saeyoung? It was hard enough to get him to accept that you cared about him in the first place; how would he feel now that you also cared for his brother? Would he feel cast aside? Would he run away thinking you no longer wanted or cared for him? The thought brings tears to your eyes and you quickly dash them away. You would do whatever it took to convince him that you still loved him just as much-no, more-as you ever did.

You take a sip of the cooling coffee, it's warmth in addition to the memory of Saeran's words making your body overheat. _I've loved her longer than you've even known her_. His words, said in anger, rang truer than anything he'd ever said to you. Against your will you smile in joy with the remembered realization that he loves you. The taciturn young man who you never thought would trust anyone enough to fall in love with them is in love with _you_.

These thoughts of Saeran are quickly stifled by the overwhelming guilt of what his words meant to your husband. A fresh round of tears wets your cheeks and you feel helpless, unable to do anything but sit in the empty house agonizing over the correct thing to do. Grabbing your handbag, you dig out your phone, the sudden desire to hear Saeyoung's voice overpowering. You aren't surprised when he doesn't answer and you grip the phone tightly to your ear as his cheerful outgoing message begins to play. You wait for the beep then whisper sorrowfully into the phone before hanging up and setting it down carefully on the table in front of you.

Physically and emotionally exhausted you stretch out on the large sofa, pulling the afghan that your grandmother made you years ago over your shoulders. You cannot control the flow of tears that dampen the throw pillow beneath your head and finally you give up even trying. You close your eyes and finally, blissfully you let sleep take you.


	7. For The Sake Of Us Part 2

**Chapter 7: For The Sake Of Us Part 2**

A/N: Long chapters you say? I got em! The promised smut will not be happening until next chapter unfortunately because everyone is currently pissed off. But seriously this two part chapter has turned into three parts because there's just too much going on. I don't know if anyone will notice but I have added a few tags that should clear up some of the questions I've been receiving. 1. Yes, this story has a happy ending. The twins have been through way too much for me to write anything else but a happy ending for them. 2. This is a poly fic.

Huge shout out to Emimilykity for putting up with my bullshit this chapter. I hate this chapter (not really, just sick of reading it) and she probably hates it too at this point. Please go give her some love if you haven't already, she really is a great writer.

Songs this chapter. My playlist turned out being 15 freaking songs long. I will not be posting every song I used because that is just ridiculous. Here are the three that ended up being used the most.

human - Christina Perri  
She (A Capella Mix) - We The Kings  
All Around Me - Flyleaf

Hope you enjoy this chapter. I worked really hard to make it into something readable. I promise things start looking up for a little while next chapter!

Additional Note: My formatting got all screwed up when I uploaded this file and I don't know enough html to fix it so I hope the chatroom/text messages are still easy to follow.

* * *

Saeyoung grips the steering wheel, his thumbs tapping in rhythm to the music blaring from the car's sound system. His eyes are glued to the apartment building's iron gate, his imagination in overdrive. His mind taunts him with images of you in his brother's arms, your naked bodies moving together. Even with the small space of the car filled with the fast paced melody of the current song he can imagine the sound of you falling apart. The harder he works to push these pictures away the more vivid they become until he's convinced he's losing his mind.

He had not planned on returning to the scene of his nightmare so soon but he's on edge and eager for answers. He feels a certain amount of guilt for slipping out while you were in the shower but knows that if he didn't do it then he would be unable to leave you at all. Despite your shakiness when he found you in the park you had seemed steady enough after returning home for him to trust that you would be alright on your own.

The song on the radio changes and his eyes close, his head falling back onto the headrest. Memories of you assault him as the lyrics to your favorite song wash over him, squeezing his heart painfully, making it difficult to breathe. Doubt and self-loathing finally penetrate the fog of anger that's been keeping him in forward motion and his eyes sting with unshed tears. Was this whole mess his fault? Should he have left well enough alone and hoped for the best? Most importantly where the hell did you all go from here? Saeyoung has never doubted your love for him but did he not give enough in return? Was he lacking something that you could only find in his twin? Did he push you into the other man's arms?

Saeyoung takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, turning off the ignition and exiting the small car. Nothing was going to be illuminated with him sitting in a parked car asking himself questions he didn't have the answers to. Jiggling the car keys in his hand nervously, he slips through the gate behind a family of three who are too focused on their screaming toddler to notice him. Taking the stairs two at a time, he approaches his brother's door, heart pounding.

He doesn't remember knocking on the door but before he realizes it Saeran's green gaze is staring out at him. Every bit of nervousness he feels drains from his body, leaving in its place a deep sense of betrayal. "We need to talk," he says quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Saeran steps back, holding the door open for his brother to enter. Shutting it softly behind him he watches as his twin crosses the small apartment and takes a seat at the compact kitchen table. Saeyoung leans back and rests one foot on the opposite knee, his eyes narrowing. The silence lengthens between them until the older twin finally speaks, his voice dripping with venom. "How many times?"

Saeran's brow furrows in confusion, not sure of the context of the question asked. He's caught off guard, expecting the usual brashness of his brother not this quietly simmering rage that he can see in the golden eyes shooting daggers at him. "What are you talking about?"

"How many times," Saeyoung repeats slowly, his tone even, "did you fuck my wife before I interrupted you?"

"Did you find her? Is she ok?"

"Do you think I'd be here if she wasn't?" Saeyoung snaps

"What I think is that you should be at home taking care of her instead of sitting here accusing me of something I didn't do." Saeran returns, scowling furiously.

"You expect me to believe that?" Saeyoung laughs bitterly. "You really expect me to believe that _nothing_ happened when she comes out of your bedroom practically naked? I'm married to her, remember? I know how it's almost impossible to keep your hands off her. I imagine it was even harder for you being that you've been lusting after her the entire time you've known her. How did it feel finally getting what you wanted? Was it worth it?" He pauses and lets out another bitter laugh. "Of course it was, it's MC."

Saeran glares at his twin, his face dangerously calm. "Stop." He moves to the space across from his brother and turns the chair around, straddling it and crossing his arms over its back. "Do you even hear yourself right now? It's one thing to sit there and insult me but you know that MC doesn't lie to you. If it had been up to me, you wouldn't even have known about the _kiss_ we shared. It was just a kiss, Saeyoung."

Saeyoung shakes his head and stares at his brother with open hostility. "MC doesn't even remember half of what happened, and I think we both know it wasn't _just_ a kiss."

Saeran mutters under his breath in frustration at the usual persistence of his brother. "You're right; it wasn't just a kiss but I'm only going to say this once: I _did not fuck_ your wife. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to or that I wasn't really close to it but in the end the only time MC spent in my bed was alone," he pinches the bridge of his nose, his head beginning to ache. "Look, you aren't going to believe anything I say right now. You're obviously upset, we're both tired and you aren't thinking straight."

"I'm thinking perfectly fine," Saeyoung responds, his fingers tapping the surface of the table mindlessly. "I'm thinking that after everything I did for you, you repay me by sleeping with my wife as soon as my back is turned. I'm thinking that you honed in on the one thing that makes my life worth living and twisted it into something unbearable. I'm _thinking_ that you finally found a way to make me suffer for not taking you with me when I escaped."

The younger twin stares at his brother in disbelief. "God, Saeyoung, do you really think I would do something so hateful? I mean, sure there was a time that I wanted your life to burn down around you but that wasn't _me._ After all the shit we've been through I'm grateful that I'm where I am today because of you."

"Then why do the one thing that would hurt me the most?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I know it's wrong, but it wasn't even about you," Saeran says quietly, his heart breaking at the pain in his other half's voice. He uncrosses his arms and lays his hands on the table beseechingly, silently asking his brother to understand. "I fell in love with MC months before Rika ordered me to find someone to infiltrate the apartment. I would watch her, being sure to keep my distance from her because I was so fucked up that I didn't want to harm or scare her," he pauses, clearing his throat and curling his fingers into loose fists. His face darkens, and he swallows hard before continuing. "Then these thoughts...ideas...started just manifesting in my mind without me remembering even considering them. At first it was just small jabs about how I wasn't man enough to take what I wanted; how I was still just that scared little boy tied up in the darkness. Then the ideas turned darker and things I never would have even considered sounded reasonable." Saeran stops talking his eyes dropping to the table's surface in shame. Finally, he re-crosses his arms on the back of the chair, his fingers grasping at the fabric of his sleeves. "Anyway, when Rika told me to find someone...malleable...to help the cause, I led MC there. By that time I was convinced that if I didn't trick her into staying and helping that I would never see her again. I was terrified that someone else would snatch her away."

"And the one person you hated the most did," Saeyoung says quietly, his anger and hurt now fighting for dominance over the pity he feels for his twin.

"I was messed up, Saeyoung. I was pissed that the only person I've ever loved was in love with my brother; pissed at myself because if I had just been strong like you maybe I would be the one she would die for. Pissed at you the most because you were everything I could never be. But after I was clean, after I realized you weren't my enemy, I never planned on trying to steal her away from you or even let her know how I felt. I kept my distance the best I could, but you know it's impossible to make yourself not love her. Look how hard you tried to do the same thing and look where we are now. She's _your_ wife, Saeyoung. I crossed a line that I never meant to but now I can't just pretend that I don't know how she feels. I can't just continue to stuff _my_ feelings in a box and try to forget that they exist. She loves you; I've never seen someone love another person the way she does you, but I can't be sorry if even a small fraction of that is being directed at me now."

Saeyoung stares silently at his brother for a few moments, considering his words before removing his glasses and perching them on top of his unruly hair. He sighs deeply, rubbing his eyes before leaning his elbows onto the table and burying his face in his hands. "What do you suggest we do," he asks, his voice muffled behind his hands. Straightening, he replaces his spectacles and regards his twin with determination. "I'm not giving her up. I know you said you had no intention of trying to steal her away, but I know that desperation will make you do some pretty stupid shit."

"Look, I just want to be in her life," Saeran states simply. "In _any_ capacity she wants me."

"Do you really think you can be happy with only part of her love; with having to share her time with someone else? Do you think it will be easy to know that when she isn't with you, she's with me?" There is no more anger in Saeyoung's voice, merely curiosity and disbelief.

"I do," Saeran answers softly. "I've been doing it for years. You once told me that I am you and you are me, but I never fully understood that until her. This may be a bit unorthodox to most people but Saeyoung...when have we ever been most people? How lucky are we that we found the one person in the world that makes us both happy to be alive; who gives us the strength and desire to put up with all the bullshit?"

"I don't know how I feel about this," Saeyoung leans back, weariness washing over him. "I suspected that you two felt some way about one another, but I never imagined it would turn into this shitstorm." He draws in a deep breath and lets it out slowly then nods once. "I need time to think about this. Every time I look at either of you right now all I can think about is the two of you naked together; which is unsurprisingly easy being that you look just like me. I think this is the only time in our lives that I've regretted being a twin." Saeyoung gives his brother a small, sad smile and laughs softly.

"I get it," Saeran grins wryly, "but whatever you're imagining is just that; your imagination."

"Right," Saeyoung mutters still not quite convinced of that fact. "One more thing then I'll leave this alone...for now. Did she say she loves you? I mean did she actually say the words?" His sibling stares at him in silence, green eyes unblinking. He knows the answer without hearing it and it hurts more than he thought it would. He knew before even uttering the question that there was no way you would let any man you didn't love put his hands on you.

Whatever confidence his brother's words had restored in him shatters when he remembers the way you pulled away from him after returning home. New questions join the old ones and he stands blindly, not waiting any longer for an answer. Storming out of the apartment he slams the door forcefully behind him absently hoping that he broke it in his furor.

* * *

You open your eyes keeping your body still as you listen for any indication of Saeyoung's presence. Almost immediately you know he still hasn't returned and the ache in your chest returns with a vengeance. You press the heels of your hands to your swollen and aching eyes, trying and failing to keep more tears from leaking out to dampen your temples. You rapidly cycle between wishing you had never made the decision to walk to Saeran's to feeling that it was the best decision you ever made. These thoughts are immediately followed by the look of Saeyoung's heart breaking as you shattered him.

You scream out in frustration and helplessness, savoring the burn in your throat. The pain is a just reward for the damage you've done; damage that you're afraid you'll never be able to repair. Your head and chest pull you into opposite directions, and you lash out blindly, your small fists pounding the cushions that support you. You hate yourself for what you've done to your husband; how in one thoughtless moment you've stripped him of the security of your love and possibly driven a wedge between what had been so hard to reclaim.

Finally exhausting yourself you slowly sit up, a brief spell of dizziness making you clutch the edges of the cushions you had only moments before been punishing. Once the room stops spinning you reach out and pick up your phone, disappointment crushing you when you realize Saeyoung has not tried to reach you since he left.

An incoming text just as you're about to set the phone back on the surface before you makes your heart jump then begin to race when you see Saeran's name on the small screen.

 **Saeran:**

2:15 p.m.: Are you ok?

You stare at his words, your teeth worrying your bottom lip as you type out a reply then erase it. Three times you attempt to answer the simplest of questions before your phone begins to vibrate with an incoming call. Saeran's defiant glare stares back at you and your stomach flutters with sudden nerves.

"I was going to answer," you greet him, wincing at the sharp pain in your raw throat.

"Calling seemed more efficient," Saeran counters, amusement tinging his words. "I've been watching you type for almost ten minutes."

"Staring at the phone waiting on a reply," you state, a smile in your voice. "It can't be that you're lovesick?"

"Would it surprise you if I said yes," he asks softly, the tone of his voice changing to something hesitant and somehow fragile.

"No," you answer slowly. "I think it would surprise me more that you were actually willing to admit it."

"Well...surprise," he intones and you burst into laughter at his unexpected response. He's quiet for a moment and you can imagine the stain of red that is probably coloring his face before you hear him chuckling quietly. "I miss you."

"Yeah?" His declaration silences your laughter though small giggles of happiness still bubble in your chest.

"Yeah," he confirms gently. "You keep me from taking things too seriously."

"Good," you smile. "You're entirely too serious for your own good most of the time. You and Saeyoung-" You stop talking abruptly, the circumstances of your current phone call rushing back to you.

"What's wrong?" Saeran asks. "Saeyoung and I what?"

"Nothing," you answer softly, all at once your voice thick with misery.

"It's not nothing," he insists and you wince at the concern in his voice.

"I...was going to say that you guys usually balance one another out pretty well but then I remembered that we hurt Saeyoung terribly this morning and now I'm sitting here laughing. I'm an _awful_ person."

"He's not there?" The question is asked carefully and you feel an icy finger of dread travel down your spine.

"No, he left this morning while I was in the shower." Saeran sighs, the sound doing nothing to alleviate the panic slowly overwhelming you. "Saeran, what's going on? I know you know something."

"All I know is that he was here this morning. This must be where he came when he left you; but he left hours ago."

"If he was there then that is obviously not _all_ you know, Saeran," you snap, anger joining the panic that was now like a wave washing over you.

Saeran sighs again, his reluctance to say anything apparent. "His head is pretty messed up," he finally admits quietly. "He's convinced that we…"

His voice trails off and you close your eyes in mortification. "...had sex." You finish his sentence in a whisper.

"His choice of words was a bit more colorful but yeah."

"Oh, God," you mutter, your head falling into your hand. Your tired, scattered brain finally puts all the pieces together and you groan. You remember your tearful confession in the park, your body and mind so weak that you spoke without thinking, implying you weren't certain of that fateful night's activities. "This is bad; this is really, _really_ bad."

"Saeyoung will be fine," Saeran states with confidence and you shake your head as if he is standing before you.

"Do you even know your brother," you question in disbelief. "Let me explain the situation we're looking at. When Saeyoung is stressed he has a difficult time controlling his emotions. Now put that together with the fact that my husband only drives very expensive cars at very high speeds. I don't care how good a driver he is, he's in no state of mind to be alone right now." You pause and bite your lip, gaining your feet and beginning to pace nervously. "What did you tell him?" An awkward silence falls between you and you freeze, holding your breath as you wait impatiently for an answer. "Saeran, what the hell did you say to him," you explode, your fear and concern inducing your voice to raise in volume.

"Enough," Saeran finally says shortly.

"What does that even mean?" You wince at the alarm you can hear in your elevated voice. You take a deep breath and let it out slowly before consciously lowering your voice. "Ok...alright; I love you, Saeran, I _do_ but I can't do this right now. I have to find Saeyoung and fix everything. I'm _sorry._ "

"I think you're overreacting; "

You let out a breath of laughter. "Just...you don't get it; you can't get it. This is something between he and I now."

"So, I finally open up and you shut me out?" You can hear the hurt beneath the ice in his voice and you sigh and add it to the list of things you feel guilty for.

"That's not what I'm doing. Look, the last time Saeyoung lost control of his emotions he...well he hurt me badly. He said a lot of things he didn't mean and felt really bad about it for a really long time. When he was there I bet some things came out of his mouth that you never expected to hear, right?" You pause to let him answer and when nothing comes you continue. "Right; I'll take your silence as a yes. He hasn't come home, and he won't answer his phone so that means he is afraid to ask me anything. He knows I won't lie to him and he thinks he knows the answer I'm going to give him because I'm a fucking idiot. Now do you understand?"

Saeran sighs in defeat, the warmth back in his voice when he finally answers. "Yeah, I do."

"Good, I have to go. I'll call you later." You end the call without waiting for an answer, your sense of urgency too great for formalities. You immediately try Saeyoung's phone, cursing under your breath when it goes straight to voicemail. You hit end on the phone again and send a quick succession of texts. Still receiving no reply you stare at the gradually darkening screen, your mind racing.

You remember the tracking app he'd developed months ago and spend precious minutes searching for it among all the useless things you never bother to open until you find it. You shift your weight from one foot to the other as you wait for it to load then almost throw the phone across the room when the screen displays a _'user location unknown'_ notification. "Saeyoung, you stubborn ass," you mutter angrily, adrenaline making you feel anxious and on edge.

Your last resort is the messenger app and you tap its icon harder than needed, impatiently waiting for it to load, making mental notes to tell Saeyoung he needs to do something about speeding up the process of logging in. Finally, the welcome screen appears, and you check who is online, not surprised that your husband isn't among them. You type out a quick text to him then open the chat log and see that Zen has started a chatroom.

The mere sight of your best friend's user icon gives you a measure of peace and you sink down onto the sofa unable to think of any other way to locate Saeyoung. Your hands are shaking slightly when you tap the screen to enter the chatroom, thankful that there is no video chat option available.

 **You have entered the chatroom.**

 **ZEN:** MC, you're here!

 **MC:** Hello, lovely Zen!

 **ZEN:** Haha

 **ZEN:** How is everything going?

 **ZEN:** I haven't seen you around in a while.

 **MC:** Things have just been busy…

 **Yoosung has entered the chatroom.**

 **Yoosung :** Hey guys!

 **MC:** Morning, Yoosung!

 **Yoosung :** Morning? Lol

 **Yoosung :** Saeyoung mentioned you were sick but you must really be out of it

 **Yoosung :** it's mid-afternoon

 **MC:** oh...right lol

 **ZEN:** You're sick?!

 **ZEN:** What happened?

 **ZEN:** Are you alright?

 **MC:** lolol

 **MC:** Calm down, I'm fine.

 **MC:** It's just a sore throat.

 **MC:** Yoosung, you've talked to Saeyoung?

 **Yoosung :** Yeah, he's asleep on my couch lol

 **Yoosung :** I asked him to stop by to help me install a new processor

 **ZEN:** What the hell is he doing sleeping at your place?

 **ZEN:** He should be home taking care of MC

 **MC:** Thank you, Zen but it's fine

 **MC:** Saeyoung just got back from a business trip

 **MC:** I'm sure he's exhausted

 **MC:** Enough about me!

 **MC:** Zen...why didn't you tell me you were going to be on TV?!

 **ZEN:** lol if I had known you would have been the first person I told

 **ZEN:** The current musical I'm in is performing in a fundraiser for the children's hospital

 **ZEN:** A local news station came to interview some of the actors.

 **ZEN:** I didn't know anything about it until they shoved a mic in my face lol

 **MC:** I'm so disappointed I missed it!

 **MC:** Saeran was flipping through channels and didn't notice

 **MC:** By the time he went back it was over

 **ZEN:** I thought Saeran moved into his own place

 **MC:** ...yeah he did

 **ZEN:** That interview was live

 **ZEN:** on the late-night news…

 **Yoosung** : Was he staying over to keep you company while Saeyoung was gone?

 **MC:** Yep!

 **MC:** I need to lay back down

 **MC:** Can you tell Saeyoung to call me when he wakes up, Yoosung?

 **Yoosung :** Sure thing!

 **ZEN has left the chatroom.**

 **Yoosung :** I hope you feel better!

 **MC:** Thank you!

The hand holding your phone tightly drops to your side, your limbs suddenly weak with relief. Saeyoung is alright; he's safe and it's even possible he's not avoiding you, merely sleeping. Pretending to be your usual upbeat self was difficult but now you're thankful you were able to manage. If you can just be patient for a little while longer maybe you'll be able to ease your husband's mind.

Your phone buzzes and you immediately lift it to see a new text message.

 **Zen:**

3:00pm: I'm coming over.

 **You:**

3:01pm: What? Why?

 **Zen:**

3:01pm: I'm going to make you soup and you're going to tell me what the hell is going on

3:02pm: Don't bother telling me not to, I'm already on my way

Your head falls back, and you stare at the ceiling briefly wishing that Zen wasn't such a good friend before gathering the strength to get dressed.

* * *

Saeyoung yawns and stares blearily at the floor between his knees, listening to Yoosung prattle on about...something. He can't concentrate on his friend's words, the constant stream of conversation unable to penetrate the red-head's own thoughts. You were on his mind as soon as he opened his eyes, disoriented and unsure where he was.

Yoosung's call for assistance had come as he approached his rental car, the rage that had been merely simmering at his brother's apartment close to boiling over. He jumped at the chance to avoid returning home, realizing that in his current condition he was bound to say something he regretted or more likely ask questions he didn't want to know the answers to. So, instead of getting the rest he so desperately needed, he returned the rental to the airport, picked up his own sleek sportscar and come over to the younger man's home to help him install the new computer component he'd purchased.

Now he occasionally hums in agreement or mumbles some generic reply to whatever his friend is talking about, wondering how he's supposed face you. Managing to get some rest has given him some clarity and managed to calm the anger he's been nursing all day. He rests the blame of this whole mess on his own shoulders realizing he had been the one to push you both to a reconciliation knowing there was something there between you even if he didn't appreciate the depth of it.

Saeran had tried to leave, he had tried to exit your life as much as he could but Saeyoung had pushed you towards him. His stomach churns as he remembers the way he urged you to use that same persistence that had worked so well on himself to persuade his brother to stop pushing you away. He couldn't allow himself to stay angry at either of you when it had been his own actions that produced something that he was not prepared for.

Your name being spoken finally pervades his musings and his head jerks up. "What?"

"Hmm?"

"What about MC?" He questions again impatiently.

"Oh, I saw her in the messenger this afternoon; she wants you to call her," Yoosung answers, his gaze never leaving his computer monitor.

Saeyoung glances around him for his jacket and pulls his phone from the pocket groaning when he sees that it has died. "Dude, you got a charger for this?" He holds up the phone for Yoosung's perusal.

"Yeah, in the kitchen," the blonde answers absently after glancing at the phone, his attention already back on whatever had made him finally stop talking.

Saeyoung gets up and shuffles into the small kitchen, locating the charger already plugged into the wall. While he waits for it to charge enough to turn back on he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, chugging half its contents before the phone starts to vibrate with notifications. He freezes, his heart dropping at the numerous missed calls and texts that fill up his screen. Slowly he sets the bottle on the counter and picks up his phone, ignoring his brother's texts and sliding his thumb across the first text you sent.

 **MC:**

2:45pm: Where are you?

2:47pm: pick up your phone

2:48:pm: we're married, Saeyoung, you can't avoid me forever

2:49pm: please

2:50pm: I just want to know you're safe

Saeyoung carefully sets the phone back down and places his hands on the counter. His head falls forward and he acknowledges he should call you immediately to let you know he's fine but not sure if he has the strength to hear the concern he knows he'll hear in your voice. It finally occurs him to wonder what time it is, and he touches the phone's dim screen to brighten it and curses.

He yanks the phone from the charger and storms into the other room, grabbing his jacket and moving to the front door to put on his shoes. "Jesus, Yoosung, why didn't you wake me up? It's after nine!"

Yoosung swivels around in his chair. "I did try once but you kicked me, so I left you alone. Besides MC said you just got back from a trip and I thought-"

"It doesn't matter," Saeyoung interrupts shortly, straightening and shrugging on his jacket. "Thanks for letting me use your couch."

Without waiting for a reply, he leaves, his finger already tapping your name in his call log, praying the phone doesn't die again before it goes through. He listens as your line starts to ring, unlocking his car remotely as he jogs across the dimly lit parking lot. Just as he's folding his body into the small vehicle the call connects and he braces himself to hear your voice but is stunned to hear a male voice greeting him.

"Look who decided to call," Zen answers sarcastically, his words invoking both anger and shame in Saeyoung.

"Where's my wife?" Saeyoung asks acutely aware of the quickly draining battery of his phone.

"She cried herself to sleep clutching her phone, jerk. What the hell is going on with you two? She won't tell me anything except that she messed up and I can't imagine anything she could do that would warrant you-"

"Zen, give me my phone." Saeyoung hears you in the background and his heart skips a beat. The urge to see you that pressed him to drive eight hours home instead of waiting the few hours for his delayed flight returns with a vengeance and he starts the car, putting it in drive before speaking again.

"Look, Zen, I don't have the time or battery power for this right now. Put MC on the phone." He can hear your muffled voices then you're on the other side of the line.

"Saeyoung?" Your voice is breathless, and he can tell you're on the verge of tears.

He clears his throat before answering, trying to hold back the flow of emotions that threaten to spill over and drown him. "I'm sorry I worried you."

"Oh, thank god. Are you still at Yoosung's?" The relief in her voice feeds his remorse and his fingers tighten around the steering wheel.

"I just left. My phone died and is probably going to die again any second now. I wanted to let you know I was on my way though."

"Saeyoung, I'm so sorry," you say and sniff. The regret he can hear in your voice twists his heart and he presses down harder on the gas pedal, the car's speed increasing rapidly. "I love-"

The phone dies and he throws it into the passenger seat with enough force to make it bounce and fall to the floorboard. "Damn it," he yells into the empty space of the car, both hands now gripping the steering wheel rigidly. His vision blurs and he swipes at his wet eyes quickly, knowing he should slow down but too anxious to be home.

As his car swiftly eats up the miles that separate you, Saeyoung comes to the conclusion that whatever happened between you and his brother doesn't matter. The only thing that matters to him is your happiness and if loving the other half of himself is what it takes to assure it then he's willing to entertain the idea.


	8. For The Sake Of Us Part 3

**Chapter 8: For The Sake Of Us Part 3**

A/N: Hoooooly smokes this chapter is enormous. This is the longest chapter OR one-shot that I've written so far. How did I write a 10k word chapter in two weeks? No freaking clue but here it is. Realistically I could have split this chapter into two (again) but I promised smut and smut you shall have. ***THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT. READER DISCRETION ADVISED***

Extra special thanks to my friend Emimilykity for being my beta and not running away when I asked her to beta this behemoth. If not for her there would be missing words, extra words and words that just make you giggle at inappropriate times. She also pushes me to dig deep for the these characters and this story. In conclusion, she makes me a better writer so hats off to her!

Songs! The deeper I get into this story, the longer my playlists get. Here are just some that helped me finish this chapter.

Look At Me - Ivy & Gold  
Runaway - We The Kings  
Find You - Ruelle  
Find My Way Back - Eric Arjes  
Bedroom Hymns - Florence + The Machine (used for the smut)

Thank you for all the comments I've received. You guys are awesome.

* * *

 _How much longer are you going to keep this up?_ It's the question that has been burning in your mind for the past five days and the urge to finally give voice to it is almost unbearable. You glance at your husband from the corner of your eye, pretending to be interested in the tv drama that is currently airing. In all honesty you have no idea what the plot of the show is and even if asked could not explain what has happened any time in the past thirty minutes. All your attention has been on the man sitting at the opposite end of the couch, feet crossed on the table in front of you as he types furiously on his laptop. Tomorrow will be two weeks since he'd returned home from Yoosung's; two weeks since he's completely immersed himself in his work.

It's the same tactic he used all those years ago when you were stuck in that small studio apartment right down to the headphones, though you aren't even sure if he's actually listening to anything. You suppose you should be grateful he's not sitting in a corner facing the wall.

You understand this is a defense mechanism but that knowledge doesn't do much to ease the hurt that it causes. You continue to keep the question silent, accepting his distance as punishment for the upheaval you've caused. You are convinced that if you just give him the time he needs he will return to you. Turning your head you look at him straight on, not surprised when he fails to even glance up at you. You remember that awful day and the night he returned home wishing he would share his thoughts with you.

That night you convinced Zen to leave before Saeyoung arrived, promising to tell him everything when you were able. You knew if your friend was there when your husband arrived that the ivory-haired thespian would be unable to keep himself from saying something he could later come to regret. He had been none too happy with Saeyoung the whole evening, not knowing exactly what the problem was, only that whatever it was had you miserable and in tears. As soon as the actor was out the door you occupied your time cleaning the already pristine kitchen. As soon as you heard the metal clang of the door you rushed out and straight into Saeyoung's arms, inhaling his familiar scent as you savored the feel of his embrace; both of you apologizing before all too soon he placed a quick, chaste kiss on your lips then released you though his hands remained on your shoulders. He stared down at you for what felt like minutes and you could have sworn he was about to say something important. However, the moment passed and he claimed exhaustion, leaving you staring after him speechlessly as he headed for the bedroom without a backwards glance. .

Since that night the man you married has been largely absent; both emotionally and physically. He's been making excuses to stay away from home, sometimes not even returning until dawn and when he is home he barely acknowledges you. He has not touched you in any significant way except for the rare occasion that you awaken in the middle of the night with his arm thrown over your waist, forehead pressed against your back as he snores softly.

 _You're his wife; just ask him!_ You chew on the inside of your mouth as you stare at Saeyoung now, trying to work up the courage to ask when he'll be done making you suffer for your mistake. The fact that you can't be entirely sorry for what happened keeps you frozen in place. Saeran crosses your mind, as he usually does lately, and you snap your head back to the front, watching the television blindly. You haven't seen the other twin since that morning you rushed from the apartment though you've texted and called each other often. He helps calm your nerves those nights that Saeyoung is nowhere to be found, the tracking app showing a location you don't recognize every time you open it. He does your husband's job of reassuring you that the older brother will come around; he will eventually come to whatever decision he's trying to make and stop hiding behind the facade of work. You miss his touch more than you've ever missed anything and the absence of his affection has left a gaping hole in your chest.

 _You can do this. What are you so afraid of? It's Saeyoung, for god's sake._ You nod curtly to yourself and stand before you can talk yourself out of it again. You move the short distance to your husband's outstretched legs and nudge him with your knee. At first he disregards you, his typing continuing at its rapid-fire pace. You nudge him again, harder this time, and he finally pulls his legs back onto the couch and folds them. You take a seat in front of him and clasp your hands tightly between your knees, trying to make yourself keep your gaze on him. A few moments pass this way, Saeyoung's eyes hidden by the glare of the laptop's screen. Your courage begins to fade when confronted by the obvious fact that your husband is purposely ignoring you. You quickly reach out and begin to close the device before you allow yourself to give into the urge to bolt.

His fingers finally stop flying across the keyboard and he sighs, allowing you to completely close the laptop. He reaches up and removes the headphones before wrapping his fingers around the edge of the computer sitting in his lap. "What's up?"

You lick your lips that are suddenly dry and resume your original pose of your hands between your knees. This is the first time in weeks you have forced his attention onto you and now that you seem to have it, you find yourself at a loss for words. You stare at him unblinking, your chest tightening and the corners of your eyes burning. Any second now you are going to start crying. You don't want him to see it but you've missed him so much and you wonder briefly if he's feeling any of the loneliness and isolation you've been experiencing.

"Talk to me," you finally plead in a choked voice, the tears you've been trying so hard to keep at bay slipping silently from your eyes. Saeyoung's eyes soften before his gaze drops to his lap, his knuckles turning white with the force of his grip on the workstation. When he remains silent you swipe at your wet cheeks with the back of your hand before your voice fills the silence. "I know there are things you want to know. I'm here, willing-eager even-to tell you everything. Saeran and I-"

"I'm swamped with work right now, babe," he interrupts you, his eyes finally rising to meet yours, his expression unreadable.

"If you don't want to talk to me, at least talk to Saeran," you plead, reaching out to touch his hand. You realize as soon as the words leave your mouth that it was the worst thing you could have said but you can't help the pang of irritation that is starting to slowly grow within you. "Saeyoung, you worked too hard to drag him back from the dark to let this- _me_ -come between you. If you need someone to blame, blame me; let me be the one you hate but just _tell me_ what you're thinking."

Saeyoung opens his mouth to speak but is halted by the sudden buzz of his phone. He glances at the screen then back at you, his amber gaze pinning you in place for a moment with its intensity. Slowly, a wall comes down and his expression changes to one of cool detachment. "It's Jumin, I have to give him a call." You lean back quickly as he stands and begins to move towards his workstation without another word.

"Your brother is coming for dinner tomorrow night," you call after him and watch as he freezes but does not turn to face you.

"I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon," he claims after a brief pause. "Don't wait for me."

"Seven!" Your exclamation stops him once again but he turns to look at you this time, the apathy on his face replaced with a mix of surprise and caution. "While I love the Defender of Justice and all, I would really like Saeyoung to be there."

His face relaxes into a grin and your heart skips a beat. "He'll try," he answers with more warmth than you've heard in weeks then pivots and leaves the room.

You let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding and pick up your phone. Now all you have to do is convince Saeran to come for dinner tomorrow night.

* * *

In the end you'd only had to ask once before Saeran readily agreed, his desire to see you overriding whatever misgivings he might have about seeing his brother. He hasn't spoken to Saeyoung since that morning he stormed out of the apartment but has managed to text him enough to finally start receiving short, one word replies. "Perseverance is key," he mutters now after reciting the Arabic password you've given him and entering the bunker.

He makes his way to the kitchen and pauses in the doorway, letting his eyes devour the sight of you. His gaze moves from the long ponytail you're sporting, down to the sliver of bare skin revealed due to you currently stretching as high as you can to grab something from the cabinet above the stove. A grin spreads across his lips as his eyes run over the curvature of your ass, the skinny jeans you're wearing clinging to you enticingly.

Saeran leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest as you begin to mumble under your breath in frustration, chuckling to himself when you start jumping in hopes of catching the edge of the object you need. "When are you going to give it up and realize you need to buy a step-ladder?" He finally questions when your curses become louder and more colorful.

You start with surprise, pressing a hand against your chest as you swivel around quickly at the sound of his voice. "Oh my god, Saeran, you scared me to death. Make noise or something when you enter a room," you scold, your face flushing in embarrassment. "Since you're here, make yourself useful." You gesture at the container that managed to elude you then place your hands on your hips.

Saeran pushes away from the the threshold and retrieves the requested item. "Hi," he says softly, your fingers brushing his momentarily as you take the proffered item. His stomach flutters at the slight touch, the urge to pull you into his arms and cover your mouth with his coming over him like a flash of lightning.

"H-Hi," you answer, clutching the salt to your chest as you raise your gaze to meet his. You lean slightly into him, your eyes dropping to his lips before a loud hiss pulls your attention away from the carnal promise in front of you. "Crap," you mutter, setting the seasoning down on the counter and turning your full attention to the pasta that is currently boiling over. "I hope spaghetti is alright," you comment, shooting Saeran a quick apologetic look. "The time got away from me and I forgot to go to the market."

"Sounds great," he answers, moving to sit on one of the tall chairs at the kitchen's island. He glances over his shoulder then raises an eyebrow. "Where's Saeyoung?" He sees you stiffen, his brow furrowing in concern. "MC," he prompts when you fail to answer.

You sniff before answering and Saeran's heart drops. "He said he had a meeting this afternoon," you finally answer nonchalantly. "It must have run over. I'm sure he'll be here before we start eating."

But Saeyoung still hasn't returned when the two of you take your seats at the kitchen table and Saeran can see the hurt and disappointment that you try to hide. "Why don't you try to call him?" He finally asks, watching you reach for your phone for the fifth time before returning your hands to your lap.

Pulled from your thoughts, you blink at him before shaking your head. "No, if he's still in a meeting he won't answer and if he's not...well, he probably won't answer anyway," you finish softly, your gaze dropping to the table.

"Hey," he coaxes gently, dipping his head to catch your gaze. "Do you want me to try calling him?" You look at him and bite your lip but shake your head in answer. "Do you...want me to go?"

"No," you answer immediately, your hand moving quickly to cover his that rests on the table. "No, I'm glad you're here." You give him a small smile and squeeze his hand. "I've missed your face."

Saeran turns his hand and laces his fingers through yours, holding on tightly. "If it was my face you missed, all you had to do was look at my brother."

You shake your head in denial. "You two may look almost the same but your faces are like night and day to me."

He grins, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. "Am I night or day?"

"Which do you want to be?" You ask, the smile slowly fading from your face as he pulls you lazily toward him. He leans over to meet you halfway, his breath whispering over your lips as he answers.

"As long as I get to love you, I don't care," he says softly before closing the distance between you and pressing his mouth lightly to yours. His heart feels like it's going to explode, the softness of your lips against his almost making him loosen the tight hold he has on his emotions. His free hand rises and touches your cheek, his thumb skimming across your skin as he tilts his head and runs his tongue across the seam of your mouth. "Let me in," he breathes against you and you comply, a whimper escaping your throat when his tongue slides between your slightly parted lips to taste you.

A feeling of intoxication consumes Saeran, the small noises you're making as you sample one another pushing away the voice of reason that is screaming at him to stop. Whatever intentions he ever has seem to fly out the window the moment he's in your presence, the smell and taste of you currently drowning out any semblance of rationality. The only thing he can do is feel and the intensity of that overtakes him. Never has he felt this surge of utter need; never even imagined that something so powerful could exist.

When you release his hand and plunge your fingers into his thick curls, tugging lightly as your tongue circles and rubs against his, his restraint snaps. Releasing your mouth he stands and pulls you from your seat, his hands cupping your face as he reclaims it, his tongue plunging deeply inside to rub sensuously against your own. One hand roams down your body to your lower back where he presses you against him, his hips rocking against you in need.

"Saeran," you sigh, your fingers twisting in the fabric of his shirt as he trails his lips along your neck. The want in your voice when uttering his name provokes a swell of white hot pleasure to race through his body; his already throbbing shaft twitching violently at the stimulation. The hand on your back lowers to trace the curve of your behind before cupping one shapely cheek and pulling you even closer, groaning at the feel of you in his hands. You gasp when he pulls your earlobe into his mouth, biting it slightly before gently pulling it between his lips. "We have to stop."

"I know," he agrees then takes your mouth again, your hands traveling up to clutch at his shoulders for stability as he invades your senses. Slowly the fervency of your kiss decreases, Saeran pulling your lower lip into his mouth and sucking lightly before finally releasing you completely. His forehead rests against yours, both of you breathless and tense with yearning. "I'm sorry," he apologizes in a whisper and you more feel his words than hear them.

You run your fingers through the hair at his nape and close your eyes. "There's nothing to be sorry for," you say and he tries to regain some semblance of sanity even as his body cries out for your touch."I want it too. I just...can't...right now."

"I understand," he says softly, raising a hand to trace the curve of your cheek. "Everything is going to be alright, MC. We're going to work this out."

You shake your head slightly. "I don't know, Saeran. I should have known it was too soon for this. I should have just let him come around on his own but-"

"Call him," your brother-in-law interrupts, releasing you to grab your phone off the table and offering it to you. "We both know how stubborn my brother is. If you let him he'll just continue to internalize everything and never tell you how he feels. Come on, I know enough of your history to know that if you'd let Saeyoung have his way without pushing back then none of us would be where we are now. I don't know about you, but I kinda like it here," he finishes with a grin.

You slowly take your phone from his hand, your eyes searching his. "How can you be so understanding?"

He gives you a smile and reaches up to run his fingers through your hair before kissing you quickly. "Because I love you," he says simply, a stain of pink coloring his cheeks when he pulls back to look down at you, "and I love him; more than he thinks I do. My brother is obsessed with making sure I'm happy; making sure you're happy even moreso. He gets so caught up in it that he doesn't realize that the love he feels is being reflected back at him. I'm the interloper here, I have no right to make demands. I'm not entitled to your time or affection, I'm just happy to receive whatever you're willing to give."

Smiling sadly you reach up and touch his face, your fingers tracing his jaw. "You're entitled to more than you think," you say quietly. "You deserve all the love in the world. Why settle for what I can give?"

"I could never consider you settling," he answers tenderly, catching your hand and pressing his lips against the back of it. "Now call my idiot of a brother so we can eat; I'm starving and you promised me food."

You nod and rise up on your toes to kiss him quickly on the cheek before turning away to call your husband. You aren't surprised when he doesn't answer and forego leaving a message. You stare at the smartphone in your hand for a moment then open the tracking app that you have been using so frequently as of late. You bite your lip as you watch the app load, slightly uncomfortable with your actions. Every time you start the program you can't help but feel like a stalker but then remind yourself that you're using it exactly as your husband intended. You can't deny that it is convenient in easing your mind somewhat but you can't quite shake that creeper feeling whenever you allow yourself to tap on its icon. You heart drops now when you see that Saeyoung is at the same strange location that he has so often been when you resort to technology to locate him.

You start to place the phone on the counter but it begins to vibrate with an incoming call. You're genuinely surprised to see your husband's picture staring back at you when you look at the screen. Immediately you accept the call finding the nervousness you feel at speaking with him disconcerting. Even in the early days of your friendship you have never felt this level of apprehension. Maybe you shouldn't have called him in the first place. Wasn't him not showing up a clear declaration that he wasn't interested in working this out?

"S-Saeyoung," you finally stammer in greeting. You grip your phone tightly, holding onto the counter for support with your free hand.

"Sorry I missed your call. I was...uh…," he pauses and clears his throat, "...did you need something?"

Your eyebrows shoot up at his question, suddenly annoyed. "'Do I _need_ something'? Are you serious? There are a lot of things I need, Saeyoung, but right now I'd be happy with knowing if you're coming home for dinner."

"Is Saeran there?"

"Yes, I told you he would be," you answer with a sigh. "Where are _you_?" You wait a full minute for an answer before you realize he is not going to give one. The irritation that was slowly fading rushes back and your face flushes. "Fine, Saeyoung, keep your secrets even though you swore there would be no more between us. I have been nothing but honest; as honest as you've let me be anyway."

You hear your husband let out a huge sigh. "Shit," he mutters and you can imagine the way he runs his hand through his hair whenever he's distressed. It's another thirty seconds before he speaks again, his voice apologetic. "Look, I'll be home in just under an hour. You guys go ahead and start without me."

"Alright," you answer stiffly then end the call, setting the phone on the counter. While he didn't lie about his whereabouts, he didn't tell the truth either and the fact that he's so reluctant to share his location gives you an uneasy feeling.

Taking your seat at the small table you shake your head at Saeran's unspoken question, picking up your fork and forcing yourself to take a bite of the food in front of you. For the next forty-five minutes you keep the guilt at bay as you enjoy the younger twin's company, easily falling into comfortable familiarity as the night wears on. Finally you sigh and push away from the table, gathering the dirty plates and carrying them to the sink. "I'm really glad you came over," you comment over your shoulder as you turn on the water to rinse the used dinnerware. Saeran gets up to stand next to you, resting a hip against the counter, arms crossed as he watches you. You glance at him and smile. "If Saeyoung had been here it would have been perfect," you remark before your face falls in horror when you realize what you've said. "Not that being with you isn't perfect, I just meant-"

Saeran laughs at your panicked expression, reaching out to run his thumb down your cheek. "You don't have to be so guarded about what you say around me," he grins.

"I'm sorry," you reply weakly, giving him a frown. "This whole thing is just so...weird. I look at you and I see the same Saeran I've always seen but I also see...something more," you finish and look down quickly, your face heating uncomfortably. "I'm not used to being this...awkward...with you. I constantly feel like I'm going to say or do something wrong and you'll realize that I'm not-"

"You can stop right there," he demands then reaches out to turn off the water and pulls you into his arms. You hold your hands away from his body to prevent him from getting wet as he places a finger under your chin to raise your face to his. "Whatever you were about to say is completely untrue. You are, and always will be, everything I want. There's not a single part of what you do and say that I don't find endearing. These feelings I have for you aren't new, MC. I've been in love with you for a long time and I don't foresee anything that could make me stop."

"Saeran," you murmur, his green eyes holding you in thrall as his face moves closer to your own.

"When I said start without me, this isn't exactly what I had in mind," Saeyoung says from the kitchen's doorway, his voice laced with sarcasm.

You both immediately pull away from the other, your husband's sudden appearance eliciting all the feelings of guilt you've managed to fend off for the past hour to come rushing back so fast that it makes you feel somewhat sick. You watch as he sets his laptop case on the kitchen's island and slips into one of the tall chairs, resting his elbows on the surface before him. "Are you hungry," you ask, finally finding your voice.

"Famished," he answers with a grin then moves his gaze to his brother. "Have you been enjoying yourself this evening?"

Saeran's eyes dart to you then back to his twin and shrugs one shoulder. "I always enjoy myself with MC."

The bespectacled twin laughs suddenly, startling you and making the smaller twin straighten from the relaxed pose he'd assumed as the conversation continued. "I just bet you do," the older twin remarks, raising one copper eyebrow.

"Come on, Saeyoung, you know that's not what I meant," Saeran asserts, his face flooding with color. "At least I showed up. For someone who's so worried about me screwing their wife, you did a great job of giving me the opportunity; thanks for that."

You slam the plate you're holding onto the counter's surface before the seated brother can form a reply. "If you two are done provoking one another, I have something to say," you declare angrily, glaring at both of them. Your eyes land on your husband and you stare at him for a moment, trying to read his face. Unable to discern anything but a seething anger directed at his brother you sigh. "What do you want from me, Saeyoung?" He blinks in surprise, obviously not expecting the inquiry. When he fails to provide an answer you continue. "Do you want me to guess? You don't talk to me, you don't touch me, you aren't home most of the time and when you are, you can barely look at me," you pause, the tightness in your chest making it hard to vocalize the thoughts racing through your head. "Do you want me to leave? Is that what you've been trying to hint at? As each day passes it feels more and more like you're pulling away from me and I don't know how to fix things because you won't tell me anything. Please," you plead, tears finally leaking from your eyes, "I would give you the world if I could but I can't do anything if you don't _talk to me_."

Saeyoung's eyes have been softening as you speak and you can see them watering even from where you're standing. Your heart gives a lurch at the possibility that you've finally broken through the wall he's built around himself the past couple weeks. "Come on," he finally says, gaining his feet and holding out his hand to you.

"W-What," you stammer, swiping at your eyes.

"Maybe I should go," Saeran suggests softly, his eyes moving between you and his brother as he places a hand of comfort on your shoulder.

Saeyoung shrugs. "Go or stay, it doesn't matter; we're leaving." Moving around the island, he grabs your hand and pulls you after him, yanking your jacket from where it rests as he heads for the door.

Saeran stands in the kitchen, listening as the bunker's iron door shuts heavily. Conflicting emotions course through him as silence falls around him. His eyes move over the room's interior, coming to rest on the spot where this whole situation began. His lips quirk into a smile when he remembers that fateful night that he had unthinkingly licked chocolate from your finger, finally revealing the longing that consumed him. No matter what happens from this point forward, he can't make himself be sorry for that one moment of weakness.

Sighing he rolls up his sleeves and begins to clean up the mess left behind, not yet ready to leave the familiar setting of the first real home he can remember.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Saeyoung says quietly, his face turned up to the heavenly array of stars above you. They are the first words he's spoken since you left the bunker, the long drive out to the clearing high above the roiling sea spent in silence. The beauty of the display overhead does little to calm him as it usually does, his thoughts tumultuous as he sits next to you, shoulders pressed together on the hood of the small car. He's frustrated at himself; his plan to give you and his brother some time alone having failed miserably. When you told him about the dinner he realized it was the perfect opportunity to test himself; to see if he could handle knowing the two of you were alone and doing whatever that entailed. For the first time since he walked blindly into what felt like an alternate universe, he put himself in his brother's shoes. Sitting out here, by himself, he forced himself to imagine the two of you together, locked in each other's embrace. After the initial stab of jealousy he was surprised to find the thought not intolerable. Yes, you are his wife but if his brother feels even a fraction of what he himself feels then he knows that Saeran will never hurt you. It's plain as day to him now that the two of you love each other and the conflicting emotions he feels about that fact are the only things he's had room for in his mind for the past fortnight.

As he sped home to you from Yoosung's it had seemed so simple. He convinced himself that he could handle sharing your time and body with Saeran but as soon as you were in his arms, the scent of your shampoo tickling his nose, the feel of your arms wrapped around him tightly, he couldn't speak the words he knew you needed to hear. What if he confessed he was willing to invite his twin into your marriage and then you realized you enjoyed being with his brother rather than him? On the other hand, if he told you he couldn't accept you rationing your time between them; would you abandon him and run to Saeran or possibly continue to see the other man behind his back?

The answers to those questions terrified him - still do terrify him, in fact - and kept him from voicing his insecurities and doubt. No, imagining you with Saeran doesn't bother him now. What bothers him is his fear that he is not good enough.

When the fear becomes too much he comes here, to the seaside cliff with a perfect view of the night sky. He'd wanted to bring you here the first time he discovered this remote haven and now that he has he's unsure how to proceed. Nothing he can say will make up for the way he's treated you the past couple of weeks. Resorting to his default had been done automatically with little to no thought on his part. He's been so far into his own head that he's been blind to your pain, believing that using his work as an excuse to avoid you sufficed. All things considered, an apology is the only thing that seems appropriate to articulate.

"You don't have to apologize to me, Saeyoung," you answer softly, arms wrapped around your small frame.

"Yeah, I do," he sighs finally gaining the courage to look at you. For a moment he's struck by the beauty of your face illuminated by the full moon's light, wondering again how he got so lucky to win your heart in the first place. He reaches up cautiously tucking the strands of hair that have come loose from your ponytail behind your ear. "I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," you reply, your hand coming up to grasp his wrist loosely. "Talk to me; ask what you need to ask. I know you have questions."

Saeyoung's mouth is suddenly dry, a million questions swirling in his head at once. For a moment he's not able to form a coherent sentence, both wanting to ask everything in his head and not wanting to say anything at all. As long as he keeps his silence, things remain the same. As soon as he begins asking the questions he needs to know the answers to, all three of your lives will change; for better or worse. "Do you love him?" He begins with something he already knows the answer to but needs to hear you say.

Your fingers tighten around his wrist and he can see you swallow hard before answering. To your credit you never waver from his penetrating gaze, your eyes remaining locked with his. "Yes," you finally admit softly.

He gives one curt nod before speaking again. "Do you," he pauses and clears his throat, finding this question much harder to ask. After a moment he starts over hesitantly. "Do you...love me?"

"Of course I do," you answer immediately, your voice breaking on the last word. Fat, hot tears fall slowly down your cheeks, dampening the thumb that has been absently tracing the curve of your cheek.

Relief floods through him, making him briefly lightheaded before he reminds himself that there's still more he requires the answer to. "What happens if I can't do this, MC? If knowing you're with Saeran is too much for me to handle?"

He's pleased when you don't answer right away, pleased that you take the time to consider his words, though his heart picks up speed as the seconds tick by. Still your gazes remained locked, neither of you able or willing to look away from the other. "Then things go back to the way they were," you finally answer, "or as close as they can be. I love you both, Saeyoung, but you're my husband. I chose to spend the rest of my life with you and I haven't changed my mind about that." Saeyoung is overwhelmed with the need to feel you in his arms and stands, pulling you up and into his arms. "I didn't mean to hurt you," you say brokenly, your voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

"I know that," he sighs, burying his face in your hair, his arms tightening around you as you begin to sob in earnest. A few minutes pass before he releases his grip on you, coming to rest his hands on your shoulders. "Look at me," he says, bending his knees marginally to meet your gaze. "I want you stop blaming yourself for what happened. Saeran tried to prevent this exact situation. _I'm_ the one who caused this. My actions these past two weeks have just been a reaction to the shit going on in my head not because I'm angry with you. I'm not angry with either of you; not anymore."

You sniff and swipe at your face with the sleeve of your jacket. "It didn't seem that way back at home."

"What? That thing with Saeran?" When you nod miserably he grins sheepishly. "I was just messing with him, I should have known he would react that way. He and I are really good at pushing each other's buttons. If I were still angry with you guys I never would have stayed away long enough to give you some time alone."

"You what?" Your voice raises an octave in outrage and Saeyoung flinches, his hands dropping from your shoulders.

"It's the only way I could be certain," he defends himself. "Ever since that night I returned from Yoosung's I've been going round and around with myself about what I am okay with and what I'm not. I needed to see if I could stay away knowing that there was a chance…" His voice trails off as your eyes gradually widen at his words.

"So, wait," you say, crossing your arms. "You tricked me into spending time alone with Saeran...what...because you thought I would instantly jump into bed with him just because you weren't there to stop us? Do you really think so little of me now that you can't be honest?"

"Well when you put it that way-," Saeyoung begins before you interrupt, your words growing ever more heated.

"And what if something _had_ happened? What if I did exactly what you thought I would? Then was I supposed to just live with the guilt that I betrayed you or would you have come clean then? Or would you just continue letting me live in limbo at arm's length?"

"What else was I supposed to do?" He explodes fervently, running a hand through his scruffy mane. "How can I just jump into this blind? How do I know with certainty that this won't tear me apart every time you're away from me? Tell me, MC, how can I agree to this without knowing that I can handle not being good enough?"

His vision blurs with the confession of his biggest fear but not before he sees the shock on your face. He tries to turn away; to hide the tears that make him feel even more unmanly but you grab his hand, refusing to let him construct the mask he's been hiding behind since his world turned upside down. All the ire has vanished from your voice, replaced by anguish and disbelief. "Saeyoung, what do you mean 'not good enough'? The only flaw you have is not realizing your worth," you release his hand and take a half-step closer to him. "If anyone is _not good enough_ , it's me. I didn't fall in love with Saeran because you're lacking something and whatever I feel for Saeran doesn't invalidate what I feel for you. The love I have for you isn't going to diminish just because he's in my life. I'll never not want _you_."

Saeyoung's heart begins to race as he stares into your eyes, the physical effect of your words immediate and breathtaking. His hands shake slightly with the need to touch you. His eyes drop to your mouth, the urge to capture your lips with his almost too strong to ignore, but he resists, afraid to initiate intimacy after the way he's treated you for the past thirteen days. Despite your words, he can't help the fear that you'll reject him.

When you reach up to rest your hands on his chest, he closes his eyes, and inhales deeply through his nose, your scent filling his senses and making him lightheaded. Heat radiates from your body and memories of your naked form writhing under him assault his mind. You stand on your toes to reach his mouth, your breath whispering over his skin when you breathe his name.

Without thought he grasps your hips and pulls you fully against him, his mouth claiming yours in a kiss reminiscent of the first you shared years ago. His lips move against yours soft and slow, savoring the feel of you. One hand leaves your hip to rest below your ear, his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. Disbelief that he almost ruined the best thing in his life teases from the corners of his consciousness but quickly fades as the world disappears around you.

When you open your mouth underneath his and lick delicately at the seam of his lips, Saeyoung lets out a low growl of hunger, the kiss instantly turning from sweet to passionate as his tongue eagerly meets yours. Lust overwhelms him, and he moves his hand from your hip to your lower back pulling you even closer to his body. He deepens the kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth to rub against yours erotically.

Your arms encircle his neck, your fingers tangling in his tousled hair. A small whimper escapes your throat at the ardor of his kiss and Saeyoung's knees weaken at the bolt of pleasure that travels through him. It has been too long since he's had you; too long since he's felt your wet heat surrounding him. The desire to bend you over the car and bury himself in you is almost overwhelming but he manages to reign it in, instead clasping your wrists and lowering them from his neck to grab the open ends of your jacket and shove it slowly off your shoulders.

Before the coat even hits the ground at your feet, Saeyoung easily lifts you and turns to set you on the mildly sloped nose of the expensive car. Immediately you grasp the hem of your shirt and pull it up and off, tossing it onto the ground blindly as you hold his gaze. He didn't think it was possible to get more turned on but the naked want in your eyes makes his cock twitch violently in response. All worry of your reluctance to have him touch you dissipates and he bends slightly to greedily recapture your mouth, his tongue circling yours in a slow, carnal dance. Gripping your thighs he pulls you to the edge of the vehicle's hood, releasing your lips to speak breathlessly against you. "Lay back," he commands and you comply, resting your weight on your elbows.

You watch as your husband removes your shoes then slides your jeans and panties down your legs, his eyes holding yours as he tosses them aside and drops to his knees. Removing his glasses, he tosses them in the direction of your discarded clothing in haste, not caring in the moment if they made it or not. He tells himself to slow down but the desire to taste you overrides reason and without preamble he buries his face between your thighs. The feel of your arousal on his tongue drives him wild, his heart rate increasing until he feels it will explode. His fingers dig bruisingly into the flesh of your hips, his self control dangerously close to fracturing. He has been despondent with the thought that he may no longer be able to love you this way and now that the familiar flavor of you satiates his craving, he feels intoxicated.

Saeyoung's tongue laps at your folds, moaning softly at your responsiveness. It's something he's always adored about making love to you. Already he can feel your body tensing as he runs the flat of his tongue over your clit. _Not yet_. The thought is in direct conflict to the demands of his body but the perverse wish to exert control over you dominates the instinct to promptly relieve his own insistent need for release. It's a pleasurable torment that you both enjoy but are never able to accomplish for an extended amount of time. Experience tells him that the longer he withholds your orgasm, the more intense it will be and selfishly he wants you to remember that it was he who gave you the best you've ever had. He lifts his head just as you're about to come, desisting all stimulation to your aching center. He looks up at you past your heaving chest, meeting your lust filled eyes. Holding your gaze he softly places small kisses on your inner thighs as you come down from the edge.

Releasing your hips he hooks his arms around your thighs and spreads them, giving you a grin before again lowering his head to feast upon you. Three times he brings you to the precipice of release only to deny you before you groan in aroused frustration, your body coated with sweat, your muscles straining with the need to finish.

" _God_ , Saeyoung," you gasp as his tongue once more begins to dance slowly in circles around your clit.

"Hmm," he hums against your swollen flesh, smiling to himself at the way your hips buck into him at the vibration.

"Please," you plead desperately, your body moving restlessly as two, then three fingers slide effortlessly inside you. His lips wrap around the small bundle of nerves that currently rule you and tugs gently causing your pelvis to lift from the car involuntarily as your body seeks the release it so desperately needs.

Saeyoung moans at the feel of your slick walls clenching around his fingers and he knows he can't wait much longer to fuck you. He's been so focused on his task that he's neglected his own pleasure and now his erection strains painfully against the tightness of his pants. The thought of sinking into you brings him to his feet, dragging his tongue slowly over your clit once more before he begins kissing his way up your body.

His fingers continue to work at you as your mouths draw even, hot breaths mingling. Saeyoung's mouth hovers over yours but he doesn't kiss you, enjoying the anticipation of feeling the softness of your lips against him. The digits inside you curve expertly and you let out a strangled cry even as his tongue darts out to run along your bottom lip before nipping at it gently. "You were saying?"

You grind against his hand urgently, your eyes fluttering open to meet his, your breathing ragged. "Please, Saeyoung. If you're wanting me to beg...this is me begging."

His mouth crashes to yours, your tongues meeting almost violently. His fingers leave you, his hands frantically fumbling with his belt. Tearing his lips from yours, he straightens to unfasten his jeans, giving a sigh of relief when his erection is finally freed from the confines of his pants. Grasping your hips he pulls you forward again and you drop to your back, your bottom hanging over the edge of the car.

Saeyoung supports your body with his, reaching down to quickly line his member up to your entrance. His gaze lifts before he actually enters you, ignoring the way his cock throbs at the promise of your heat. "I keep stopping," he says, his voice thick with desire, unable to resist inserting the head of his dick inside you and pumping shallowly, "because I want the hardest you've ever come to be around my cock." His restraint finally loosens at the soft whimper his words achieve and he slides into you completely in one fluid motion, your body more than ready for him. Leaning forward, he rests his weight on his hands beside your waist, your legs draped over his arms. He remains still for a moment, his heart feeling as if it will rupture. The feel of your walls surrounding him invokes an animalistic hunger and he bites his lip as he rolls his hips against you trying to appease it. "I have to admit, though," he pants, grinning down at you, "hearing you beg is a bonus."

He sees you open your mouth to reply and draws his hips back slightly before snapping them forward harshly, your bodies meeting with a loud smack. Your words are cut off, a loud cry of pleasure overtaking them. Your back arches, lifting your covered breasts, your hardened nipples clearly visible through the fabric of your bra. "Unhook it," Saeyoung demands breathlessly and you immediately obey, easily undoing the front clasp of your undergarment and pulling it apart, exposing the rosy peaks of your breasts to the night air. "You look like a goddess," he breathes, his eyes glued to the gentle heave of your chest, " _my_ goddess."

Saeyoung's head dips down to capture one sensitive nub between his lips, pulling it into his mouth and sucking almost painfully. He begins moving within you, his thrusts slow and insistent as his mouth moves from one soft mound to the other. He can feel your body tensing even as you begin using his arms for leverage to lift your body to meet his. Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging insistently as he pleasures you, driving you ever closer to where you are so frantic to be.

"Harder," you urge, grabbing a handful of his curls and pulling roughly, causing a sharp stab of pain to radiate from his scalp. His head jerks back in reaction, his cock slamming into you forcibly before he assumes a controlled but frantic pace, your high-pitched moans of ecstasy finally managing to crack his self control.

"Fuck," he grunts and straightens, grasping your hips tightly, his fingers once more biting into your flesh as he drives into you. He watches as your eyes flutter closed, your small teeth biting your lower lip. "Look at me," he commands, the exertion of his strokes making his breath harsh. Your eyes snap open, meeting his heated golden ones. "Do you want to come, babe?" He slows his strokes as he asks the question, rolling his hips against you with each one, his hands holding you in place when you would try to grind against him. You nod your head, a whimper escaping your throat. "I can't hear you," he teases with a grin, ceasing all movement.

"Saeyoung, please," you gasp, trying desperately to move from his vice-like grip as the words tumble out, thick with yearning. "I love you so much. _Please_...let me come."

Your pleading effects him more than he thought it would, the ardent request making him feel both weak and powerful at the same time. "God, I've missed you," he breathes, beginning to move within you once more. A hand moves between your legs, his thumb massaging your clitoris as he begins to thrust into you at a brutal pace. He bites his lip hard, his moans of pleasure turning into grunts as he slams into you, your answering groans urging him on. _Come for me, baby_ he thinks to himself, unable to form any coherent speech.

A stream of curses fly from your mouth in a whine as your orgasm finally washes over you, your body tensing before it begins to thrash at the intense sensation coursing through you. Your cunt pulsates violently around Saeyoung's cock, the intensity of your release stealing his breath and momentarily slowing the movement of his body against you. He rocks against you as you ride out your orgasm, his eyes glued to your face. The thought that you've never been more beautiful flits through his mind before whatever control he's been able to maintain over his body vanishes.

Pure instinct takes over and he pumps into you wildly, his own release rushing towards him rapidly. His hands move to your breasts as he leans over you, lightly biting one sensitive nipple before pulling it deep into his mouth. Your back comes off the surface beneath you, pushing your distended flesh even deeper into him. Your fingers twist in his hair frantically, your legs wrapping around his torso as your body begins to tense once more.

When your second orgasm hits, Saeyoung comes undone. The sound of you crying out his name echoes in his ears as he comes hard, his seed filling you in long, hot spurts. The intensity of his release leaves him struggling for air, the profound feeling of euphoria like nothing he's ever experienced before.

You stroke his hair as he comes down, your gentle touch invoking an enormous feeling of contentment to spread through him. Every doubt he's had before this moment fades away and he clasps your hand and presses it to his mouth.

"I've missed you too," you say softly, chest still heaving as you try to catch your breath. You tug on his hair lightly until he looks up at you and when his amber gaze meets yours, you give him a small smile. "Don't disappear on me like that again. You aren't the only one with insecurities, Saeyoung. I've been worried sick that you no longer wanted me; that you thought less of me because of what happened and didn't know how to tell me."

Saeyoung withdraws from you, immediately missing the feel of you around him, and stands. His heart is heavy as he helps you to your feet and wraps you in an embrace, not bothering to fix his clothes first. The instinct to comfort you overrides anything else and he hugs you tightly. "I'm sorry that I made you feel unwanted," he says quietly, kissing the top of your head. "I swear I'll make it up to you."

You shake your head against his chest. "No, let's just say we're even now," you answer, pulling back to look up at him. "But no more secrets, Saeyoung. When this location kept-" You abruptly stop speaking, heat rising to your face.

A grin spreads across Saeyoung's face. "What was that?" He allows you to retreat from his hold, straightening his clothing as he watches you retrieve your own.

"W-what was what?" You try to ask the question offhandedly but your stammer gives you away.

"This location kept showing up on your tracking app?" He asks the question teasingly, trying not to laugh at your deer in the headlights look as he bends over to pick up your shirt.

"You've known the whole time, haven't you?" You fasten your bra then snatch the shirt from your husband's outstretched hand, quickly pulling it over your head. "How?"

"Get dressed, then I'll show you," he responds then hops onto the hood of the car to watch you turn your back to him and bend over slowly to pick up your jeans and his eyeglasses, giving him an unobstructed view of your bare ass. "You're killing me, babe."

You throw a grin at him over your shoulder and straighten quickly donning your clothing and slipping your shoes on before handing him his spectacles. You lean your back against his chest as he slips them on then let out a small sigh of contentment when he kisses your neck. His arms wrap around you, pulling you close enough that you can feel his heart beating. "As nice as this is, you're supposed to be explaining something," you press, turning your head to give him a quick peck on the lips.

"Give me your phone," he orders, suddenly wishing he hadn't said anything. He doesn't know how you're going to react to his explanation, he can only hope you don't feel like he's tricked you somehow. Retrieving his own device from his pocket he hands it to you hesitantly. His arms come around you, holding the phone where you can see what he's doing and you watch as he taps on the app's icon. The now familiar map of his location loads and almost immediately his phone lights up with a notification. "I tweaked the version on my phone to let me know everytime you start the app," he explains quietly.

"Well, that's not fair," you state, embarrassed at how many notifications he has probably been receiving. Saeyoung breathes a silent sigh of relief that he doesn't detect any anger in your voice, only discomfort that he's been aware of your actions. "Why do you even need a feature like that?"

He hands you back your phone and plucks his from your fingers, setting it on the car beside him. "Because I like knowing that you're thinking about me," he confesses, unable to look at you due to his own embarrassment.

You turn, slipping your smartphone into your pocket, then lifting his face to meet his gaze. "Stupid," you whisper, determined not to cry. "Of course I think about you; I love you."

"Even when you're with Saeran?" The question is asked hesitantly, his voice apprehensive.

"Yes, even then. You're a part of me now, Saeyoung. I could as sooner stop breathing as I could not think about you."

He cups your face in his hands, kissing your bottom then top lip before his tongue slides into your mouth to seek your own. Your hands lightly grasp his forearms, returning his affection earnestly. There is no hesitation in your response and he can feel the love he has for you swelling within him to wash away whatever uncertainties that have been crippling him.

He releases your mouth, resting his forehead against yours, eyes closed as he finally speaks to alter all your futures. "Okay," he whispers, fingers caressing your face lovingly.

You pull back to search his face, blinking at him in confusion. "What?"

Saeyoung takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before taking your small hands into his. He squeezes them tightly, grounding himself as the anxiety of finally coming to a decision threatens to consume him. "If being with Saeran is what you want; if being with us both will bring you happiness….I won't object," he reveals, surprised at the feeling of relief that flows through him at the admission.

You are silent for what feels like an eternity and he can feel your hands trembling in his. "I don't want my own happiness to come at the expense of yours, Saeyoung."

He releases your hands to wrap you in his arms, holding you close. "Seeing you and Saeran content is my happiness. Before I met you I didn't think I would ever love someone the way I do you. How much I feel for you shouldn't even be possible; it's too big. If Saeran feels even a fragment of that then how can I stand in the way? How can I deny him the chance to love and be loved in return?" He pauses for a moment then gives you a grin. "I can't promise I won't be jealous from time to time, but my decision isn't based on the fear of losing you. If tonight has proven anything to me it's that I was an idiot to ever doubt what I mean to you."

"You're absolutely sure you're okay with this?" You look at him anxiously, the hands resting on his shoulders contracting absently. "Don't just say what you think I want to hear. Whatever your decision is, things between us aren't going to change."

"The only thing I've ever been more sure of is asking you to be my wife," he says tenderly, leaning in to brush his lips against yours briefly as his hands begin caressing your back soothingly.

"Okay," you breathe, the tension visibly draining from your body. "If we're going to do this - _really_ do this - then no more trying to get a rise out of your brother."

A wicked smile spreads across Saeyoung's face. "I promise, I'll leave that completely up to you."

You bite your lip, trying not to laugh at his lame attempt at humor during this solemn moment. Your eyes narrow slightly at him though the effect is watered down by the slight shake of your shoulders. "I"m serious, Saeyoung," you manage to say, slapping him on the arm. "This isn't a competition between the two of you. You have to stop making him feel embarrassed about his feelings. It's not easy for him," you conclude softly and your husband feels a small pang of guilt at the kindness in your eyes.

"I know," he sighs and places a hand over his heart. "I swear, no more harassing him...about you anyway."

You roll your eyes and he wonders how no matter what you're doing you're the cutest damn thing he's ever seen. He cracks a smile at the thought and you blush, seeming to read his mind. "Fine, I'll take what I can get," you pause, a smile of your own curving your lips. "Now, there's just one more thing." Saeyoung raises his eyebrows in question, silently waiting. "When we get home, you're going to install the 'tweaked' version of your app on my phone," you lean into him and lower your mouth to his, stopping right before your lips touch. "I like to know when you're thinking about me too."

You brush your mouth against his, pulling back fractionally when he tries to capture your lips. The air between you changes from teasing to something electric and his heart rate increases at the sudden heat in your gaze. Your mouths collide in a flurry of tongue, teeth and lips, hands grasping and greedy for one another. He knows at the rate you are going that it will be dawn before you arrive home but can't seem to make himself care. Two weeks is a lot of time to make up for after all.


	9. Colour Me In

**Chapter 9: Colour Me In**

A/N: Here we go, another massive chapter. I'm so sorry for the slight delay in posting. Thanksgiving and all that plus this chapter is over 1k more words than the previous one. I swear to try and make the next one shorter. Just as a warning, this chapter contains smut and almost every chapter (if not all) going forward will have some sort of smut in it. **THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT. READER DISCRETION HEAVILY ADVISED**

Title of this chapter is the title of the song by Damien Rice. It's one my personal "designated Saeran" songs and seems to always be something I listen to when writing him.

Emimilykity, you are awesome. Thank you for reading my smut scenes over and over until I get them right and helping me word things more clearly so they make sense. You always seem to know what I'm thinking when I can't articulate the thoughts myself. People, her new chapter will be up soon and you don't want to miss it!

Songs:

Hunger - Ross Copperman  
Yours - Ella Henderson  
Don't Deserve You - Plumb  
I Found - Amber Run

* * *

It's early evening when Saeran pushes through the glass doors of the small market near his apartment, his mind occupied with thoughts of you. Not that this is anything new. You've been living in his head for years, but now that he's touched you-tasted you even-it's almost impossible to think of anything else. He feels as if he's been living in a dream since that day he found you sitting in the rain. Before that day he never imagined that you could look at him as anything more than your husband's brother. After everything he had done to you, and to your friends, he felt lucky that you didn't gaze at him with disgust. You've always been kind to him, even when he was at his worst; lashing out at anyone who tried to help him. Compassion and concern were always present the times he accidentally met your gaze. Love was something he never dared even hope for. Now, to see the look you share with his brother beaming directly back at him is something he's only thought of as an impossibility; something only attainable in his wildest dreams. To have it become a reality is almost unreal.

He hasn't allowed himself to think about what will happen if Saeyoung refuses to consent to the unconventional arrangement that Saeran is hoping for. He's amazed that his twin is even considering the possibility. His brother cherishes you and for him to not immediately dismiss the idea out of hand tells Saeran loud and clear that his sibling cares about him immensely. If any other man touched you, his usually amiable brother would have done more than come banging on his door to angrily discuss the matter. Saeran himself has no misgivings about the irregular situation; it's more than he ever thought he would have. If his brother refuses, letting go of you will be the hardest thing he's ever done. You are the first and last woman he's loved. There will be no one else if Saeyoung declines. He has no ill-conceived notion that you will leave his twin, and he would not want you to anyway. He has no desire to ruin his brother's marriage, and break your heart by forcing you to make an impossible choice.

As he makes his way to the back of the store, he wonders if everything between you and Saeyoung is alright. When he unexpectedly dragged you from the bunker last night it appeared that you may have finally been able to get through to him. Saeran hopes this is the case. The texts and phone calls he's shared with you this past fortnight have broken his heart and made him ache to rush to your side to offer whatever comfort he can. If he wasn't aware that would have just made things worse, he would have been there for you in a heartbeat. The fact that his brother shut down so completely that he was on the verge of losing you angers the younger man. He has no doubt of the scope of his twin's feelings for you. Saeyoung loves you more than life itself, but to say that his communication skills need work would be an understatement. Not that Saeran himself was that great at it. His therapy sessions helped greatly but there were still times he had trouble expressing himself verbally. You were the only person he felt completely comfortable enough to share his thoughts and feelings with no reservations.

Saeran's phone vibrates with an incoming text as he's reaching into the store's freezer to randomly grab a pint of ice cream. It's been almost a full twenty-four hours since he's heard from either you or his brother, and a wave of relief makes him briefly lightheaded when he sees his brother's name on the notification. He opens up his texts as he makes his way back to the front and sets his purchase on the counter.

 **Saeyoung:**

5:15pm: Got plans tonight?

"You must really like ice cream," the cashier, who he thinks is named Seung-hui, comments with a grin.

"What?" He asks distractedly, quickly typing out an answering text on his phone.

 **Saeran:**

5:16pm: No, what's up?

"The ice cream," Seung-hui persists, holding up the container. "You're in here at least every other day buying some. You must really like it."

"Yeah, I guess," he answers, trying to keep the irritation from his voice. Why would he bother buying it if he didn't like it?

 **Saeyoung:**

5:18pm: You do now

5:18pm: I'll pick you up at 7

"...cake?" The raven-haired girl is still asking him questions, and Saeran sighs inwardly. The girl is nice enough but small talk is something he's never been good at. He doesn't have the patience or desire to talk about things he doesn't care about with people he barely knows. Seung-hui is still chattering on, seemingly unaware that he hasn't even bothered to answer whatever question she asked. Your voice echoes from his memory and his lips curve into a smile. He imagines that small talk with you wouldn't be so terrible. He could sit and listen to you talk about anything for hours and never get bored. Every time he hears the lilting sound of your speech his heart races, and his stomach flutters pleasantly. He recalls your breathy moans as he kissed you until you were both breathless and quickly forces his thoughts in another direction. Continuing on that train of thought is dangerous, especially when standing in front of a talkative young woman who is batting her eyes at him.

 **Saeran:**

5:19pm: How is MC?

 **Saeyoung:**

5:20pm: See you at 7

He sets some money on the counter, his hand trembling slightly, hoping the talkative girl will take the hint. He can't follow the inane conversation that she's trying her best to draw him into due to the fact that his heart is now hammering wildly inside his chest, resounding loudly in his ears. Saeyoung has come to a decision. He's as certain of that fact as he is about his feelings for you. Why else would his brother not only evade answering a simple question but also want to see him on such short notice after barely communicating with him for weeks? Whatever happened after the two of you left appears to have made up his mind. He tries to search his mind for clues to ascertain what his brother may have concluded but with such little contact between the twins recently, it's impossible to say.

Impatiently he waits for Seung-hui to take a breath so he can speak. He can feel his anxiety rising with the impending visit with his twin and the feeling of being trapped by this long-winded Miss. His money still sits on the counter as she proceeds to chat, the pint of ice cream he's attempting to purchase clutched in her hand. He's beginning to regret the decision to even come out and is on the verge of just grabbing the bills from the counter and leaving when she finally finishes her one-sided conversation and giggles.

"Uh, I should probably get that home before it melts," Saeran suggests quickly before she can pick another topic of discussion, gesturing vaguely at her hand.

"Oh, you're right," she titters, finally placing the container in a bag and scooping the currency from the surface before them. "You don't talk much do you?"

"Maybe I just don't have anything to say," Saeran states shortly, taking his purchase and change from her outstretched hands. His patience is dangerously close to snapping. He doesn't know if she's actually as air-headed as she appears or if it's merely an act because she thinks it makes her more attractive. Either way, he doesn't care; he just wants to leave.

Seung-hui tilts her head and gives him a flirtatious grin. "You're cute."

He tries to keep his face impassive, now completely regretting the fact that he bothered to leave his apartment. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. There were several girls from time to time over the years who took a liking to him, though he has no idea why when he does everything in his power to discourage them. His ruthless other self may have partaken of what was offered occasionally from the ones who seemed to be drawn to his callous indifference, but that part of him is gone-or at least quiet-and he has no desire to encourage the girl standing in front of him. If Saeyoung allows him the chance to be in a relationship with you, he will make damn sure that nothing happens to screw it up; not after waiting for so long.

"Thanks," he finally answers blandly then moves to leave. "See ya," he throws over his shoulder, breathing a sigh of relief as he pushes back through the glass doors. He sets off towards home, throwing the now ruined ice cream into the nearest trash receptacle. Most likely he could get Seung-hui to replace the melted treat, especially since it's her fault in the first place, but he refuses to return. In fact, he doubts he will be back at all. The small bit of tolerance he had for the young cashier is depleted now that he realizes she's interested in more than just mindless discourse. Glancing at his phone he sees that he only has slightly over an hour until his brother is scheduled to arrive and his heart gives a painful lurch as he picks up his pace. This is the first time he's actually cared if he was on time or not.

But an hour and a half later, Saeran is still pacing the small space of his apartment, his irritation quickly building into anger. Saeyoung is not answering his phone and he's hesitant to contact you until he knows what it is his twin wants. He's just about to try calling again when the buzzer for the front gate sounds. "Finally," Saeran mutters under his breath, moving over and pressing the button to permit access without bothering to glance at the front gate's security camera. To make his brother's life easier, he could go down to meet him since it's obvious Saeyoung intends to take him somewhere, but after waiting for so long Saeran is no mood to be accommodating. He has been unable to stay still since he returned home, his thoughts and actions all over the place. The anti-anxiety medication the doctor gave him has done little to calm his disquiet. His chest is still tight with worry and he can't quite shake the panicked feeling that is causing his hands to tremble. He forces himself to be still and focuses on an old water stain on the ceiling, working to calm his breathing as his therapist taught him.

Shortly there's a light knock on his door and Saeran closes his eyes briefly before moving to open it. He draws a breath to berate his twin about the wait, then lets it out in a rush. Instead of his goofy brother, Seung-hui stands in the hall, a smirk on her full, glossed lips. _Shit_.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He doesn't bother to hide his annoyance. Having to be polite in public is one thing but there's no logical reason for her to be at his door. He's never mentioned where he lives and has no idea how she could even know.

"Saeran Oppa," she pouts, looking up at him through her lashes. "Don't be angry, I brought you some cake." She holds up a small covered container.

"Don't call me that," Saeran snaps, scowling at the petite woman in front of him. "How do you know where I live?"

Seung-hui's smirk returns and she places a finger on her lips. "It's a secret," she answers with a wink.

He rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh, having no time for her antics. "Whatever, you have to go. I'm expecting someone and-" His words are interrupted by the gate's buzzer. _Damnit_. He glances at the small screen mounted on the wall beside his door and freezes. Not only is his brother waiting impatiently for admittance but you stand beside him, head thrown back laughing at something. Saeran is struck for a moment how even over the grainy black and white security feed you are the most beautiful woman he's seen. _I'm so fucked._ How is he supposed to explain the presence of this scantily clad woman when he has no idea why she was there in the first place? Well, it's obvious why she's here if her clothing and the coy looks she's giving him are any indications. He racks his brain for any small gesture or word said out of turn that would have motivated her to believe he desired her company but can think of nothing. He's scarcely spoken to the girl.

The woman currently at his doorstep takes advantage of his distraction to push past Saeran, squealing loudly in excitement once she's inside "Oh my god, it's so cute!" Her shrill exclamation hurts his ears and he winces, desperate to somehow get this female out of his apartment.

"Seung-hui, you really have to leave," he urges, giving into the incessant sound of his brother leaning on the buzzer. It will only take minutes for you and Saeyoung to arrive at his front door and he has no idea how to make this woman leave without you seeing her. His anxiety level rises at the fact that a practical stranger is invading his personal space, idly touching his belongings, and, more importantly, the certainty that there is no way you won't get the wrong idea about this situation. Anyone would jump to the conclusion that Seung-hui is there for anything but eating cake and having a conversation.

The female in question sets the container she brought on the counter and turns to beam at him, clasping her hands in front of her in excitement. Her eyes fall on his right arm and widen slightly in pleasure. "You have a tattoo?" She asks in amazement, rushing across the room to lift the short sleeve of his t-shirt for a better look. "That's so cool!"

She manages to reveal the bottom half of the intricate design before Saeran stiffens and jerks roughly out of her grasp. "Don't," he warns coldly, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he snatches up his jacket and shrugs it on.

"Yo, Saeran," Saeyoung yells through the door, his fist pounding insistently. "What's taking you so long? I thought you'd be chomping at the bit with us being so late."

"Hang on," Saeran calls back to buy a few precious seconds then gives a low growl of frustration. He glances at the intruder who is now sitting at his kitchen table, slim legs crossed with her elbow resting on its surface, staring at him with her chin in her hand. "Just...stay quiet," he sighs. "When I'm gone, get lost. I'm not interested in whatever you're offering."

* * *

Saeyoung knows as soon as his little brother opens the door that he is hiding something.

If the stiff posture and panicked gleam in his eyes didn't give him away, the act of opening the front door just wide enough for him to slip through before slamming it shut behind him would have.

"You said seven," Saeran snaps as soon as the door clicks shut behind him, looking everywhere but at you. So, whatever it was, it had to do with you. Saeyoung's eyes narrow slightly as he studies his twin, already having a good idea what is going on.

"I'm afraid that's my fault," you say apologetically. "I forgot to call ahead for the takeout so we had to wait around. I'm sorry."

Saeran glances at you as you speak then quickly away, his face flushing. Saeyoung sees your brow furrow in confusion at his brother's demeanor and he can't say he blames you. The younger man hasn't been this evasive around you in months, certainly not with recent events being what they are. The answer comes unexpectedly when the apartment door opens behind his brother and an attractive woman Saeyoung has never seen before smiles brightly before linking her arm through Saeran's.

"Saeran Oppa," she whines, her smile turning into a pretty pout as she clings to him. "You're so mean to try and leave me all alone."

Saeyoung's eyebrows shoot up and he can hear you draw in a sharp breath beside him. Reaching down he clasps your hand tightly, giving it a squeeze of reassurance. He won't allow himself to believe that his brother has been seeing another woman. Even the thought is ludicrous, but he can see how bad it would look through your eyes. The plan had been to pick up his brother and return home to have dinner where they would let him know what decision had been made and discuss where to go from here. To finally sit down and talk everything out as a trio. Now there's every chance that your newfound romance with his brother may be over before it even began if this mess wasn't set straight, and fast.

Saeran's eyes close in mortification, his posture going rigid. "I told you not to call me that," he barks, trying to extricate himself from the slight woman who seems to have a death grip on his arm.

The young lady seems to finally take a good look at the newcomers and gasps in surprise, her eyes darting between the two men. Her eyes come to rest on the older brother and travel the length of his body before meeting his amber gaze. "You never said you had a brother! And a twin at that!"

"Because I barely know you," he bites out between clenched teeth, still trying to pull away.

"Saeran, who…," you finally speak, your voice quickly trailing off. Saeyoung can hear the emotion in your voice and he can feel anger begin welling up inside him. Whether Saeran wanted this girl around or not, she's here, seemingly convinced that his twin has even the faintest of interest in her. If he does or doesn't is of no consequence to Saeyoung at the moment as whatever is going on is causing you pain and that's something he is unwilling to tolerate.

"She works at the market down the street," Saeran answers irritably, finally escaping the woman's clutches and taking a couple of steps away.

"The one who gives you food," you say softly, your grip on Saeyoung's hand tightening.

"That's me," the dark brunet sings before plastering a large smile on her face and bouncing on the heels of her feet, causing her ample bosom to threaten to fall out of her half-unbuttoned blouse. "Seung-hui Park."

Something clicks in Saeyoung's head hearing her name, and he can't help the grin that slowly spreads across his face. Park is a fairly common name but there's no way this is a coincidence. The slight guilt he has been nursing over immediately checking into the building -and the building's owner-when Saeran proclaimed he would be living here, completely fades away. Everyone has their dirty little secrets they try to keep hidden away, unfortunately for Miss Park, Saeyoung is really good at digging up what others wished would disappear.

"Why don't we move this party inside," he suggests with a smile, glancing at his brother briefly before looking down at your flushed face. He squeezes your fingers once then drops a kiss on your forehead before leaning down to breathe in your ear. "Trust me, babe." He feels you nod briefly.

"Absolutely not," Saeran practically yells. "Are you out of your fucking mind, Hyung?"

The older brother's eyes never stray from the chocolate brown ones of Saeran's unwanted visitor that are staring up at him in interest. "Just open the door, Saeran, I want to have a little discussion with our guest. Once it's open, you can escort MC down to the car, this won't take long."

Saeran stares at his older brother for a few seconds before finally relenting. Grumbling under his breath he reaches around the sparsely clothed woman, trying to keep as far from her as possible, and keys in the door's security code. When it beeps, he throws the door open in disgust, grasps your free hand and all but drags you away from the fiasco behind you. You take a quick glance back to see Saeyoung escorting the young lady inside before the door closes with a soft click.

Once alone inside the apartment, any sign of friendliness fades from Saeyoung's demeanor. If what he suspects is true about the woman, she is someone Saeran needs to stay far away from. He moves across the room and holds out one of the small kitchen chairs, gesturing that she should have a seat. Instead of taking the one across from her, he chooses to lean against the back of the couch, arms and ankles crossed as he narrows his eyes at her in assessment. Slowly her seductive demeanor fades until she can no longer hold his gaze and her eyes drop to her folded hands resting on the tabletop.

The silence seems to stretch on forever until Saeyoung finally speaks. "You uncle's name is Chil-Hyeon, correct?"

Seung-hui's head snaps up and the ex-agent already has his answer before she even opens her mouth. "How do you know my uncle?"

"Well, I could make up a lie, but that would be really tedious and I just don't have the patience for it right now," Saeyoung sighs, lifting his arms to stretch. He takes note of the way her eyes are drawn to the small expanse of belly exposed, sprinkled with ginger curls. Positive he now has her full attention, he lowers his arms and moves to her side, kneeling beside her chair, a bit too close for comfort. "The truth is that it doesn't matter," he reveals in a low voice, lightly tapping the back of her hand once before straightening and beginning to pace slowly around the small apartment.

Seung-hui's lust filled eyes now follow his slender frame, her tongue darting out to wet her dry lips. "Your uncle owns this building, right?" Ignoring her obvious attraction to him. When she nods, he continues. "That's how you discovered my brother's address. Your uncle also owns the market you work at, various underground gambling establishments, and," he pauses, leaning down to rest his palms on the small kitchen table, bringing his face even to hers, "a very profitable escort business. One whose most requested girl is a Miss Seung-hui Park."

He stands once more to his full height, crossing his arms as he shakes his head in disapproval and clicks his tongue. "Miss Park, don't you know enough to at least change your name when working in that type of establishment? Especially what happened last year with that high-ranking married official that you loved so much that you tried to blackmail him into leaving his wife for you. How was it studying abroad in America?"

Seung-hui stares at the tall red-head with the goofy glasses, anger seething from every pore, every trace of attraction now gone. "So what, you're trying to make me feel guilty for my mistakes?

Saeyoung moves so quickly the young lady doesn't even know what he's doing until kneels down beside her chair once more, one arm resting against its back. "I couldn't care less who you are or what you do with your miserable life. The only concern I have about you has to do with my brother and our wife." He pauses, a slow smirk spreading across his handsome face, fingers tapping a rhythmless tune on the back of the metal chair. He leans in slightly, his voice just above a whisper. "I don't know what you want from my brother, other than a quick fuck, but stay away from him, because it would be a shame if someone gained access to your social media accounts and accidentally shared all your dirty little secrets."

"You wouldn't dare," Seung-hui whispered, mascara now leaving black crooked trails down her perfectly made-up face.

Saeyoung leans into her closer to reach her ear to whisper softly. "If it's to protect my brother, you better believe I would do it in a heartbeat." He pulls back slightly to meet her eyes now filled with fear and raises an eyebrow "Do we have a deal, Miss Park?"

* * *

The silence in the car is palpable, each of you lost in your own thoughts. You can't say for sure what is going on in Saeran's head but you imagine it is something along the lines of blind panic that you'll get the wrong idea about what you walked into. True, the shock of seeing a more than attractive woman clinging to one of the men you love had thrown you for a loop. It had taken you a moment to find your voice and when you did, you opted to stay silent. Getting into a pissing match with a girl who was obviously delusional would do none of you any good. If you'd had any misgivings that Saeran was interested in the clingy girl, all doubts disappeared as his anger and panic slowly increased as she insisted on continuing to touch him.

Of course, Saeran wouldn't have realized that this girl has been working on him for months; what with all the dishes she insisted he take home and you're sure there were many conversations she tried to draw him into, but not knowing how much he despised small talk, probably mistook his disinterest for shyness. So the small girl with the doll-like features had taken it upon herself to move things along to disastrous results.

Your thoughts turn even more inwardly and you begin to wonder if this whole arrangement with him and his brother is even a good idea. Everyone is now completely onboard but when it comes to Saeran what do you even have to offer? A shoulder to cry on? A relationship where you can't fully be his? Someone who can only spare half of your heart? He deserves so much better than you can offer him. He deserves someone who can love him wholly and while your heart is bursting with love for him, is it enough? Tears you didn't even know you were shedding slide quietly down your cheeks, their reflection standing out on the dark surface of the closed car window.

Saeran's long fingers touch your shoulder from the backseat and you close your eyes, savoring the feel of his touch. The digits begin to massage in slow circles, your breath quickening with that small, innocuous action. You clasp his fingers in yours and squeeze tightly. "Don't you dare apologize," you manage to get out past the sudden knot of longing in your throat. You thread your fingers through his and turn slightly to look at him between the seats.

"What makes you think that's what I was going to say," he asks with a half smile, leaning forward slightly to bury his nose in your hair.

You let out a sigh of need, your eyes closing when his lips find your ear and nibble gently. "B-because," you begin, soon losing your train of thought as you so often do around him, "When you touch me, I can't think," you laugh breathlessly, trying to push him away. "Right now we all need to be thinking clearly."

Saeran's brow furrows. "What-"

Saeyoung opens the car door and folds himself inside. "Alright, I don't think you'll need to worry about Miss Park any longer." He takes note of your entwined fingers and flushed face and grins. "Did you tell him?"

You shake your head. "I thought it would be better if we did it together. Now, what did you say to...her to make her back off?

Saeyoung leans over and places a soft kiss on your forehead "Nothing you need to worry your little head about."

With your free hand, you give him an open-handed smack to his abdomen, openly glaring at him. "Don't give me that crap. What did you say to her?" You can hear Saeran's quiet chuckle from the back and you do your best not to grin in pleasure at the sound.

Saeyoung sighs and pecks you on the lips before starting the luxury car's engine. "I just pointed out some...facts that she may not want to become public knowledge." He shakes his head in disbelief. "That is one messed up family."

"So you've been hacking again," you assert slowly. Saeran's fingers tighten around yours in silent comfort and you reciprocate the action, thankful that he is there.

Saeyoung gives another sigh. "Not exactly. When Saeran decided to move here, I did some...research. Her name came up quite a bit." Smoothly pulling into traffic, he glances at you, giving you a wink. "Now, why don't we go home, eat our now cold chicken and get down to the reason we even came out tonight."

Due to your husband's eternal need for speed, you pull into the massive garage in just under a minute from when you pulled away from the apartment building. After three years of marriage, you still can't quite get used to feeling like you've just completed a car chase each time the ride ends. Shakily you exit the Tesla and breathe a sigh of relief. You love your husband dearly but his love of cars and velocity is something you aren't sure you'll ever get used to.

Saeyoung grabs the food from the back seat and gives you a grin. "Alright, babe?"

"Fine," you bite out and stick out your tongue. "Next time I want to drive though."

He gasps dramatically and places a hand on his chest. "You want to violate one of my precious babies?"

"Damn right, I do," you snap. You glance around the room until you find the vehicle you're looking for and give him a wicked smile. "That one," you demand softly, raising an eyebrow as you point at the slate blue Aston Martin.

Saeyoung's face flushes, his breathing slightly increasing as he seems to read your mind as memories of the night before play in your thoughts like a pornographic film. Suddenly remembering his brother is leaning against the car you all just exited, Saeyoung clears his throat and turns quickly to head for the entrance. "From now on, that one's yours," he says to you over his shoulder, giving a secret smile.

"Hyung," Saeran calls out meekly, hands stuffed in his pockets. When his older brother glances back at him with raised eyebrows, the younger of the two drops his eyes to the unbelievably clean floor. "Thanks," he mumbles.

Saeyoung laughs. "You're welcome, bro, but you need to be more aware of when women are coming onto you. I might not be there next time."

Saeran gives his brother a quick look then darts his eyes to your placid face. Your cheeks are slightly flushed remembering the possessive way the other woman clung to his arm and you force a small smile to ease his mind. "Could we talk for a minute?" He asks you hesitantly and you look at your husband briefly before nodding.

"Right," Saeyoung declares cheerfully, hefting the box of chicken and bag of sodas. "See you guys inside."

When you are alone, Saeran reaches out a hand to you then pulls you into him when you clasp it tightly. His arms wrap around your waist, his eyes searching yours. "I know you said I don't need to apologize but I'm going to do it anyway," he says softly, giving you a slight grin. "I should have known better than to accept gifts from her, even if it was just food. I was encouraging her attention without even realizing it and I swear it won't happen again"

You raise your hands to cup his face and kiss him softly. His hands slip down to trace the curve of your ass before squeezing lightly and pressing you fully against him. When you part, you are both breathless as he continues to place small kisses on your forehead and temples. "Saeyoung told me," you blurt out before the words even form in your mind.

Saeran freezes before placing a finger under your chin to raise your face to look into your eyes. "Saeyoung told you what?"

"How you've been in love with me before you even led me to the apartment," you confess, your hand grasping his wrist loosely. You can see the wall coming down before you've even finished speaking and your fingers tighten around him. "Don't you dare shut me out, Saeran," you demand angrily. "I had a right to know and it doesn't bother me. I only brought it up to say that, while yes I had a moment of jealousy watching that...girl...try to stake her claim on you, I knew better. I knew better because you've loved me for so long that there's no way she even had a chance." You release his wrist and caress his cheek. "And I can't imagine my life without you now. Despite everything you've done to keep me away, I'm here...loving you, and I'm not going anywhere. Do you hear me, Saeran? I won't leave you."

Saeran gathers you into his arms, burying his face in your neck. You can feel the slight shake of his shoulders and the dampness on your skin where his tears silently fall. You rub his back soothingly, murmuring words of comfort into his ear. "I don't want to mess this up," he declares, quickly swiping at his eyes. "If Saeyoung agrees-"

"He said yes," you confess, no longer able to hold in the good news. An ecstatic grin spreads across your mouth at his look of astonishment. "That's the reason for this meeting, or dinner, or gathering or whatever you want to call it. We were going to tell you-"

Your words are cut off by Saeran's suffocating embrace as he picks you up and swings you around, his deep laugh echoing throughout the cement walls of the garage. His mouth covers yours in a kiss that is nothing less than possessive. You moan softly, your fingers running through the hair at his nape as you allow him to taste you thoroughly before a loud cough breaks through the fog of lust that has suddenly surrounded you.

"So I guess now you've told him," Saeyoung teases, leaning against the door that leads from the garage to the bunker.

"I'm sorry," you apologize breathlessly as Saeran gently sets you back on the ground. "It just...slipped out."

"It's alright," he says with a wink, holding out a hand to you. "Someone had to break the ice. Now let's eat, I'm starving."

Five minutes later the three of you sit around the living room's coffee table, deciding to forego the usual kitchen table. Saeyoung sits at the head of one side of the large rectangular piece of furniture while you and his brother take up the longer sides. You eat in silence, glancing at one brother then the other, trying to gauge the tension in the room. When you all sat down, the atmosphere was relaxed though you could feel slight vibes of something radiating from your husband. It wasn't jealousy; you had experienced that particular brand of emotion. No, something was on his mind that he wasn't sure how to bring up. You nudge his foot under the table to gain his attention and give him a reassuring smile and he places a hand over yours and squeezes tightly.

Saeyoung clears his throat, throwing down the paper napkin in his free hand. You and Saeran give him your full attention, both dreading and anxious to hear what he has to say. "I know my lovely wife," he pauses to run a hand lovingly through your hair before continuing, "has informed you of my decision to make this duo a trio." His smile fades and stares hard at his younger brother. "What she doesn't know is that I have a condition; a condition that if you refuse, the whole deal is off the table."

You gasp, pulling your hand from his. "You can't start adding conditions after you've already agreed, Saeyoung. That's hardly fair."

"Whatever it is, I'll do it," Saeran states softly.

Saeyoung raises one crimson brow. "Accepting without knowing your fate; that's brave."

"Just get on with it, jackass. I know how you like to draw these things out but now isn't the time. What's your condition?"

The older twin leans back and rests his weight on his hands, considering his brother with slightly narrowed eyes. "From this point on, you're married."

You gape at your husband for a moment before finally finding your voice. "Saeyoung, that's-"

"Agreed," Saeran answer firmly, no hesitation in his voice.

"What? No!" You exclaim. "It's hardly fair for me to expect you to...not...date," you swallow hard, remember Seung-hui's cute face staring adoringly up at the second man you love. You wanted to claw her eyes out, in all honesty. But how can you expect Saeran to agree to stay monogamous when it's impossible for you to offer the same?

"No other women," Saeyoung is dictating, his voice deadly serious. "I agreed to have you be a part of our marriage, not any random woman who catches your eye."

Saeran turns his gaze to you, a smile dancing over his lips. "MC is all I could ever ask for. There's no one else who could even compare." He returns his stare to his older brother. "I'll even wear a ring if you want."

"Good," Saeyoung declares cheerfully, leaning up and giving his hands a loud clap. "I've already custom ordered you one that matches ours."

"You...what? When the hell did that happen? You just made up your mind last night." You stare at your husband in disbelief at his complete about-face concerning this arrangement.

He gives you a grin and shrugs. "The internet is a wonderful thing. How do you think I survived before I met you?" Looking at his phone, he notices the time and bounds to his feet. "Gotta get going. I'm going to the movies with Yoosung. It's a double feature so I won't be home before midnight. You crazy kids have fun."

You dart a quick, confused glance at Saeran before jumping to your feet and hurrying after your husband. Catching up with him quickly, you grasp his sleeve and pull him into the hallway. "What are you up to?"

Saeyoung blinks at you innocently. "Yoosung has been bugging me about this for weeks. I thought I would finally get him to shut up and give you guys some time alone together. Two birds with one stone." He grins and pulls you into his arms. "I know what you're worried about, but I'm fine with this, babe. If we're going to do this there's no reason to do it half-assed. Whatever happens while I'm gone, it's ok. Watch movies, play games, do...other things," he winks. "I'm all in, sweetheart. No more guilt from you.

You lean into him, your arms snaking around his waist to squeeze tightly. "I love you, you big goofball."

"Then give me one of those kisses that make my knees weak and let me get the hell out of here."

Leaning up, you press your lips lightly to his before drawing his full lower lip into your mouth and sucking gently. You smirk at the low growl your kiss invokes and slowly pull back to look up into his heated gaze. "That one?"

"Why don't I ever think before I speak? Now all I want to do is take you right here against the wall." He gives a frustrated sigh and captures your mouth, his tongue dipping quickly into your mouth to taste you before reluctantly releasing you. His hand runs lovingly through your hair as he smiles down at you. "Love him, babe. Give him the love he's never had. He deserves to not be alone anymore," he says tenderly, his fingers tracing the curve of your cheek.

You nod, unable to speak past the lump in your throat at the feeling in your husband's voice for his brother. You press your face against his chest, inhaling his comforting scent. "You're amazing," you utter, your voice muffled against his shirt. Lifting your head, you give him one your brightest smiles. "Go have fun with Yoosung and don't let him watch anything scary, you know how he gets." The tall red-head laughs and leans down to kiss you once more before calling a farewell to his brother and leaving the bunker.

You take a deep breath and return to the living room to see Saeran cleaning up the remnants of dinner. "You don't have to do that," you protest, moving quickly to help.

"Leave it," he chides giving you one of the half smiles that make your heart rate increase. "I don't mind."

You stand watching him, wringing your hands nervously. You remember last evening, the way he embraced you, the sweet taste of strawberry candy on his tongue. Heat suffuses your face at the memory of how hard it had been to make yourself stop kissing him. Your desire for him when in his presence both excites and scares you. "Well, if you've got this I'll...just go grab a quick shower," you manage to say, praying he can't hear the lust in your voice. All he has to do is look at you and you'd succumb to whatever he wishes.

Without waiting for an answer you hurriedly leave the room, grabbing an oversized shirt and pair of shorts before locking yourself in the bathroom. Standing under the shower's hot spray, you close your eyes and let the memories of Saeran's kisses wash over you. You run your soapy hands over the expanse of your abdomen and over your sensitive breasts, imagining him touching you. Snapping out of the spell of recollections, you shake your head, reminding yourself that the real thing is waiting for you in the living room. Not only is he waiting but you can love him now with no guilt or reservations. For years Saeran has been standing in the shadows, loving you from afar with no hope or expectations of you returning his feelings. And now you're denying him the opportunity to physically love you by standing here imagining the very thing that's being offered.

Turning off the water, you exit the shower, quickly drying off and throwing on your clothes. Pulling your hair up into a messy bun, you pad down the hallway, surprised to see Saeran standing in front of the small collection of photos on the bookshelf, the picture of the three of you on your wedding day in his hand. "That's my favorite," you comment, moving to stand beside him.

He looks at you and grins. "I was terrified you could hear how hard my heart was beating," he answers, holding up the framed picture.

"Do you want to know a secret?" You perch on the arm of the sofa, swinging one leg absently. At his nod, you grin. "I was afraid of the same thing." At his dubious expression, you take the frame from his hand and gaze down at it. Your finger runs over the image of your husband's smiling face and a small smile curves your lips. "I was so happy to be marrying Saeyoung. I've known from the moment I met him that he's my soulmate. Granted, it took me a while to actually fall in love with him, but because we are so similar, I just knew our lives would be forever entwined." You pause and look up to meet Saeran's green gaze. "When he wanted a picture with the three of us, and I touched you, I couldn't help but question whether it's possible to have more than one soulmate." You tilt your head, studying his face before a smile graces your lips. "I should have already known the answer to that, however. Saeyoung has always believed that you are two halves of one soul. Now it's obvious to me that falling for you was always going to happen. It just took me a while to realize it."

Saeran's eyes have been darkening with longing as you speak. You stand and blindly place the picture back on the shelf and run your hands up his chest, pausing over his heart. You can feel it racing and yours answers in turn. His hands rise to grasp the fabric of your shirt at your hips, bunching the material in his fingers. His head lowers to graze his lips across yours, his touch so light you can barely feel it. Lifting his head he holds your gaze, swallowing hard before speaking.

"I'm scared," he confesses just above a whisper, his fingers tightening on your clothing. "Now that this...us...is a reality, I'm even more scared that I'm going screw it all up and it's all going to disappear. After everything I've done; the things I threatened to do to you, the way I hurt Saeyoung, and...V. I don't deserve to be this happy."

You reach up to cradle his face, your heart aching for him. "Listen to me. None of those things were done by you willingly. You've lived in the dark for the majority of your life, kept there by evil people who used you for their own gain. You've worked so hard to lead a normal life. Embrace being in the light, Saeran; embrace us because there is no way I'm ever going to let you sink back down into that hell. I love you."

You lean up to capture his mouth, a soft moan of arousal escaping your throat when he responds passionately, his tongue swiftly seeking to find your own. He tastes of butterscotch and you smile to yourself, remembering his habit of always carrying various pieces of hard candy in his pockets. All thoughts vanish when his hands slip under the hem of your shirt to press against the bare skin of your back, pulling you flush against him. Your body sings from the simple feel of the pads of his warm fingers tracing the curve of your spine and you wind your arms around his neck, your fingers twisting into the hair at his nape.

You stand on your toes in an attempt to get even closer to him and let out a small squeal of surprise when he lifts you and carries you the short distance to the couch and lays you down, quickly straddling your hips as he did the night you confessed your feelings.

His hands touch your waist under your shirt, sliding up slowly, teasing you with his thumbs by drawing small circles on their journey to the swell of your breasts. Your breath hitches when he finally covers your chest, palming your hardened nipples as he did that rainy night. His emerald gaze darkens with desire as he touches you, the fervency of your response obviously exciting him.

He kneads the soft mounds gently, his eyes glued to your face, watching your reaction as your back arches into his touch, silently begging for more. His digits trace your areola, avoiding the small nubs that cry out desperately for attention. Finally, mercifully, his fingers whisper over the sensitive peaks and you cry out, your fingers digging into the muscles of his biceps. You make a sound of protest when his hands leave you to push up the material shielding you from his view. When your breasts are exposed, he sits back, his eyes moving over the sight of your nakedness. "God, you're even more beautiful than I imagined," he murmurs in reverence, his fingers tracing the curve of your breasts.

His thumbs graze the tips and you mewl, his touch traveling from your chest straight between your legs. "More," you plead, your back again arching into him. He presses your tits together and leans down to tenderly kiss the peak of one, then the other before pulling it into his mouth and sucking amorously. The hand on your other breast tugs gently, imitating the actions of his mouth and you cry out his name, your hands pressing against his head to encourage him to continue. He releases your nipple with a soft 'pop' instead and rises to claim your mouth, his tongue delving deeply to circle your own.

"Say it again," he demands breathlessly against your lips, his thumb and forefinger rolling your nipples torturously slow.

"Saeran," you gasp, the white-hot pleasure coursing through you making it almost impossible to form any coherent thoughts, much less words.

"You have no idea how many times I've fantasized you saying my name that way; how many times I've imagined what it would feel like to pleasure you." He places hot, open-mouthed kisses along the column of your neck. At the juncture where your neck meets your shoulder, he bites your tender flesh before laving it with his tongue. He pulls the injured skin into his mouth and sucks hard, leaving an angry, red mark.

You grasp his head and pull him back to capture his mouth, the addicting taste of him causing a hot rush of arousal to surge between your legs, the wetness dampening your panties and making your hips buck involuntarily. The overwhelming desire to make him feel as good as you encourages you to trail your hands down his chest and abdomen to press against the impressive bulge in his jeans. Saeran groans into your mouth, his hips pressing into your palm with need. You squeeze and stroke his erection through the thick material of his clothing, but it's not enough to satisfy your urge to pleasure him.

"I want to touch you," you plead, your hands fumbling at his belt in your haste. He sits up momentarily to assist in unfastening his pants before leaning back down to suckle one swollen bud. Your hand slides slowly into his underwear and he draws in a sharp breath at your touch. You rub him lightly, enjoying the silky smooth feel of his shaft against your fingertips, relishing the way his body seeks further contact by rocking against you. After a few moments, you withdraw your hand, pushing his clothing down his slim hips, finally freeing his erection from its confinement.

Saeran breathes a sigh of relief when he is freed, his cock bobbing slightly as the cool air of the room hits him. Your right hand reaches between his legs and his breath catches as your fingers stimulate his perineum before slowly moving up to gently cup his testicles. You squeeze ever so lightly before trailing your fingers up the underside of his cock, ending by grazing your thumb over the head, catching the bead of precum and bringing it to your mouth to lick the digit clean. As he watches with lust filled eyes, you silently spit into your palm and return to his shaft, your hand pumping him languidly but firmly. You enjoy the weight of him in your hand, the reality of touching him this way far exceeding any of the fantasies you've been experiencing in the past couple of weeks.

His eyes roll back as his eyelids squeeze shut and bites his lip hard, his hips thrusting into your hand instinctively. His breathing becomes ragged when your hand begins to twist slightly with each stroke, his own hands returning to your breasts, twisting and tugging the engorged nubs. Dipping his head, his mouth hovers over yours, your breaths mingling. Your free hand grasps his nape, your tongue darting out to run over his upper lip. His tongue follows back into your mouth, kissing you passionately. "...so...good," he moans roughly against your lips, his pelvis picking up speed as your grip tightens around him.

His hands continue to work on your breasts, and you begin to feel a familiar feeling of heat coiling in your center. The hand at his nape moves to the head of his cock, forming a circle with forefinger and thumb. Both hands pump in unison, the copious amount of precum leaking from the tip of his shaft providing more than enough lubrication to stimulate the glans. He curses huskily under his breath, one hand moving from your body to tightly grip the plush cushion of the sofa.

Lowering his torso, he mildly bites a distended nipple, his teeth scraping against the tender bud before pulling it deep into his mouth, his cheeks hollowing. You cry out his name loudly, your body tensing as your back arches into him. One hand slips under your body and pulls you impossibly closer as the unmistakable feeling of your orgasm builds rapidly. Your clit throbs with the rhythm of your racing heart, engorged and aching. "Saeran...I….ahh…" To your utter surprise, your orgasm hits you fast and unyielding, your body convulsing under the amazed stare of your lover. Your breasts have always been one of the most sensitive parts of your body but never have you been able to achieve climax by upper body stimulation alone. You blink at Saeran as you come down, his body frozen above you, eyes wide in amazement.

"Did you just…," he asks, his voice trailing off in bashfulness.

"Yes," you laugh in astonishment, your body still pulsing with the aftereffects of your orgasm.

"But we didn't...I mean, I didn't…" Again he is unable to finish his thought, his face flushing. "I didn't know women could...finish...like that."

You reach up to brush the hair from his brow and smile. "I've only read about it, this is the first time it's ever happened to me." You pause briefly considering your words, suddenly just as bashful as your almost lover. "I think spending all that time fantasizing about you made the reality a bit overwhelming."

A slow smile spreads across his face and he leans down to kiss you sweetly. "You fantasize about me?"

You nod, your hands caressing his face. "Those nights we would talk on the phone, your voice would make me imagine what it would feel like to do this," you utter just above a whisper, catching his mouth with yours and dipping your tongue into his mouth quickly to taste him. "Or how amazing it would be touch you here." Your hand returns to his penis and strokes him lightly, your tongue returning to his mouth as he moans at your caress. "Sit up," you whisper against his lips, desiring a better angle to please him.

When he complies, you entwine your fingers and wrap both hands around his erection, stroking his length persistently. His head falls back at the sensation of your hands pleasuring him, his brow knitting in concentration as his hips thrust instinctively into your motions. His hands clutch at the fabric of the sofa, his knuckles white with the strength of his grip. Your gaze moves from his face to his swollen member, the glistening head appearing and disappearing into your grasp. Your tongue darts out to wet your dry lips, the thought of tasting him pervading your concentration and causing heat to course through your veins.

Saeran lets out a hoarse groan, his pelvis thrusting erratically, his breathing accelerating as his body tenses. Your arousal grows as you watch him begin to spurt onto your bare midriff. The force of his orgasm is so strong that he manages to shoot several hot, pearly strands of ejaculate onto your breasts and you moan at the heat of his cum on your fevered flesh. His thrusts slow and you milk him slowly, the euphoria on his face when he looks down at you rekindling your lust tenfold.

Releasing him you trail your fingers over his hips, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside you, slightly disappointed that he'll need time to recover before you can continue to explore one another. Your mouth is waiting when he leans down to brush his lips against yours, supporting his weight on his elbows as his hands caress the top of your head, his thumbs gently stroking your temples. "I love you so much," he declares tenderly, pulling back to meet your gaze. Your heart swells at the way he looks at you, bewildered that two men could love you so completely. Whenever either of them gazes at you, as Saeran is now doing, you feel like you are their whole world. It's a feeling that both comforts and scares you; the responsibility of being their source of happiness sometimes causing you to falter in fear that you will somehow break their hearts.

You push those thoughts aside and give the man hovering over you a smile, lifting your head slightly to peck him playfully on the tip of his nose. "I love you, too. You and Saeyoung make me feel like the luckiest woman in the world." You glance down at your bared form then back up with a grin. "I know Saeyoung seems to be all gung-ho about this arrangement now but I don't think he's quite prepared to walk in on this particular predicament."

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry," Saeran apologizes, quickly sitting up and straightening his clothes. His face flushes as he surveys the evidence of his arousal. "Christ, I'm sorry," he says again and you giggle.

"Stop apologizing," you scold, shoving at his thighs. "I liked it; watching you come on me was a huge turn on."

A pleased grin splits his face and he gets to his feet. "Just...wait here, I'll get something to clean you up."

He leaves the room briefly then returns with a damp washcloth and begins to gently rub it over your skin. You watch him as he works, your body still yearning for his touch. You wonder how long it will take for this unquenchable hunger for him to fade, or at least simmer down enough to where you don't want to him to ravish you every time you're alone together. It's not a foreign feeling to you, it's the same craving you had for Saeyoung in the beginning; still do, in fact, though you've been with him long enough now to control yourself in his presence. But with Saeran you're constantly hyper-aware of his nearness and the way he seems to undress you with his penetrating stare. Being around him is akin to being near a living, breathing, aphrodisiac and you can't help but relish it.

"Will you stay the night," you suddenly ask, hating the thought of him leaving after what you'd just shared. "I mean, if it's weird for you to sleep on the couch-"

"I'll stay," he interrupts, pulling down your shirt to cover your nakedness and leaning down to kiss you. "I'll do anything you want, all you have to do is ask."

You grin mischievously. "Oh, you're so going to regret saying that."

The remainder of the evening is spent on the sofa, eating leftovers and watching romantic comedies, Saeran complaining good-naturedly through each one. Neither of you can seem to stop touching the other as you occasionally exchange small caresses. When the bunker's heavy door opens just before midnight, you're reclining on the couch, your head in Saeran's lap. The two of you are engrossed in the third movie of the night that you graciously let him choose, but you sit up quickly when your husband walks through the door, your face flushing as though you'd been caught doing something wrong.

Saeyoung takes in the scene before him then grins, moving quickly to plop down on the empty end of the furniture and props his feet on the coffee table. "Aw, man, I've been wanting to see this," he remarks, staring at the zombie flick playing on the large television. He glances at his twin and raises an eyebrow. "I assume you're staying over," he comments as he pulls your feet into his lap, knocking you off balance and causing your head to land back in the younger man's lap.

"Saeyoung, what-" you begin to inquire before he shushes you and tilts his head towards the movie.

"Stop talking," he scolds, squeezing your ankle briefly. "You're going to make me miss the action."

You look up at Saeran and he shrugs then turns his attention back to the movie. The brothers are soon immersed in the performance on the screen, Saeran absently playing with your hair and Saeyoung lightly running his fingers up and down your calf, but you can't concentrate on the movie's plot with both of them touching you. You can feel Saeyoung's eyes on you frequently during the two-hour film but he says nothing, even when you look at him questioningly. When the credits start to roll, you reluctantly sit up and yawn, raising your arms up to stretch.

"You look beat," Saeyoung comments, rubbing your back. "You should get some sleep. You two can have the bed." Your body stills at his words and you can feel the same reaction from Saeran beside you. Your husband laughs at your reactions. "Come on guys, I didn't suggest you go have loud, dirty sex or anything. Jumin has me doing a network security thing for C&R so I'm going to be up all night anyway. I don't want to keep Saeran awake so he can just share the bed with you. It's really not a big deal."

"I...guess," you answer slowly, turning your head to look at your now second husband.

Saeran lifts a shoulder in indifference but you can see his excitement at the prospect of sleeping next to you. "It's fine with me, I'd choose a bed over the sofa any day," he comments.

Saeyoung slaps his palms on his thighs then stands. "Good, then it's settled. You guys sleep well." He leans over and places a kiss on the top of your head then disappears from the room, presumably to grab his laptop.

The green-eyed brother raises his brows then stands, grabbing your hand and pulling you to your feet. "Let's get some sleep. In the morning, I'll make you breakfast just like the old days.."

You smile and start to follow him to the bedroom when Saeyoung reappears into the room and lightly grasps your arm. "Hey, could you hold up for a sec?"

You nod and Saeran releases your hand, wordlessly exiting the room to give the two of you privacy. The older twin waits until he hears the bedroom door close then releases your arm and runs his fingers lightly over the love bite you forgot about until this instant. Your face heats with something that feels a lot like shame and your cast your eyes down. Saeyoung places a finger under your chin and lifts your face. "What's with the look? You haven't done anything wrong, MC. I'm not upset, just curious."

You meet his eyes and your chest aches at the affection shining back at you. "It just feels like I'm flaunting it in your face is all."

He smiles slightly and pulls you into his arms. "Flaunting what? I knew what this arrangement entails when I agreed to it. You can't feel ashamed every time you guys express your love physically. If I don't have a problem with it, you shouldn't either, babe." He places his mouth over the small bruise, his lips brushing against it tenderly before moving to your mouth and grazing your lips. "Did you two…"

"No, not yet" you answer promptly, laying your head on his chest and squeezing him tightly around the waist. "Do you really want to know when we do?"

Saeyoung takes a shaky breath and tightens his embrace. "I don't know," he replies honestly. "I didn't lie when I said I'm all in with this but it's still hard not to be jealous."

"I know," you whisper. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

He pulls back to look at you, a wicked grin on his face. "Not with my brother in the next room, but I'm sure I can come up with a few things when we're alone." He wiggles his eyebrows and you laugh, pulling his head down to kiss him thoroughly.

"Try not to stay up the whole night," you lecture. "I know you like to work until it's done but it's not healthy to push yourself so hard."

"I promise to try," he says then releases you, giving you a light smack on the rear. "Now get to bed, woman."

You narrow your eyes at him and stick out your tongue before heading to the bedroom where Saeran waits for you. "Everything alright?" He asks as you shut the door behind you. He's already in the bed, his black jeans draped over the chair that sits in the corner.

You give a smile and nod, your fingers caressing the mar on your neck. "He noticed."

"Shit, is he pissed?" He sits up, a look of dread on his face, watching as you move across the room and crawl under the covers.

You shake your head as you stretch out, letting out a tired sigh. "No, but I don't think this is easy for him."

"Then I'll cool it with the biting," Saeran promises, laying down beside you and wrapping an arm around your waist, his fingers stroking your back.

"Don't you dare," you protest, placing a hand on his cheek, your thumb caressing his chin. "Biting is good, leaving marks...not so much; at least not yet."

He gives you a half-smile, causing your heart to throb. "Who knew you were so kinky," he teases, his fingers dipping lower to trail over your ass.

"You haven't seen kinky yet," you retort, slapping his hand away playfully.

"I can't wait to find out everything about you," Saeran confesses, his voice suddenly serious. The hand that's been stroking your back moves to rest below your ear, his mouth moving over yours. You can feel all the love he has for you in his actions and when you part, your eyes are damp with unshed tears of happiness. The two most amazing men you know are in love with you and you can't hold in the joy of being allowed to love them both.

You snuggle into Saeran's embrace, nuzzling his chest and wrapping an arm around his hips. It's not long before you hear his breathing even out and when you glance up, he's fast asleep. You untangle yourself from his embrace and turn to switch off the lamp beside the bed. You scoot back, spooning your body against the man beside you and close your eyes with a sigh of contentment.

You awaken hours later, your bedroom door open, Saeyoung's silhouette outlined by the hall light. You squint at the clock and see that two hours have passed since you went to bed. Your husband starts to close the door but you call out to him softly, beckoning him to the side of the bed.

He kneels and strokes your hair softly. "I didn't mean to wake you," he whispers, careful not to wake his sleeping brother.

"You didn't," you answer quietly. "I didn't even hear you open the door, I just happened to wake up. Are you done with your work?"

"Yeah, I'm about to crash on the sofa." He pauses, his fingers continuing to pet you. "It's stupid, but I missed you and wanted to see you; even if you were sleeping," he admits sheepishly.

"Don't sleep in there," you protest. "There's plenty of room in here, just sleep with us."

"Nah," he returns, beginning to straighten. "Tonight is for the two of you. Saeran's been waiting a long to time to do things like this with you. I don't want to ruin it for him."

"Dude, just get in the bed," Saeran says irritably, moving over and pulling you with him to give his brother room. "I'm trying to sleep and at this rate I'm going to be awake the rest of the night."

You pull back the covers and pat the mattress in invitation. Saeyoung hesitates, shifting his weight from one foot to the other while he considers your proposal. Finally, he lets out a sigh of defeat, sets his glasses on the bedside table and slips in beside you. He moves closer to you, touching your forehead with his and placing a hand on your hip. "I love you," he says just above a whisper.

"I love you, too, Saeyoung," you answer just as softly, wrapping an arm around his waist.

You feel Saeran's arm wrap around your own waist, his breath tickling the back of your neck. "I love you both; now shut up and sleep."


	10. Walking A Tightrope

**Chapter 10: Walking A Tightrope**

A/N: Remember when I promised that this chapter would be shorter? I lied. Remember when I said things were done being sad? I lied. Don't kill me though! This chapter has to happen to set up all the good things that are happening in later chapters. I swear, not everything about this story is going to be sad!

This is where I thank my dear friend, and beta, Emimilykity. You kept me sane writing this chapter and wouldn't let me give up, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Songs: The music I listened to was very scene specific during this chapter so I will split the list into two.

Saeyoung:  
Mr. Brightside - The Killers  
Smoke and Mirrors - Imagine Dragons  
Holding On and Letting Go - Ross Copperman

Saeran:  
Sweater Weather - The Neighborhood  
Be Alright - Lucy Rose

I really hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

You stir at the heat of Saeyoung's body hugging your back. Before you're even fully conscious, you are aware of the warmth of his hand as it moves under your shirt and the erotic sensation of his erection pressing insistently against your backside. Your eyes remain closed in your semi-consciousness, your body instinctively seeking his touch. The deft fingers on your bare skin squeeze the supple flesh of your breast, the friction of the hips rolling against your own sparking a flame within you. He knows your body as intimately as his own; knows exactly where and how to kiss and caress to elicit the whimpering response he's gaining at this very moment. It's almost unnatural the speed at which he's able to have you a quivering mess, begging him to satisfy the hunger he so easily awakens. His mouth finds the back of your neck and nips at it and you finally open your eyes to find yourself staring lustfully into the gaze of your husband's brother.

Your eyes widen as they lock with Saeran's, all vestiges of sleep vanishing in an instant. His expression remains as still as his body as he continues to stare at you, his large pupils seeming to reflect your arousal. You stare back at him in confusion for a moment before Saeyoung manages to slip one of his legs between your own and groans at the way your hips involuntarily grind against him in need. In desperation, you try to elbow him to gain his non-amorous attention, even as your eyes flutter closed at the attention he's granting your stimulated form.

His mouth moves to your earlobe and gently nips at it, his small hum of contentment tickling you enough to cause your nipples to pucker. Your eyes snap back open wide in embarrassment at the breathy moan that escapes your throat when his fingers close around one hardened nub and tugs. "I swear your breasts are a gift from God," he moans, and you frantically reach back to grab a handful of his hair, yanking hard to end this nightmare. Every attempt to call your lover's notice to the fact that his twin is observing your unraveling goes unheeded, your body betraying you at the pleasure washing over you. Saeran's rapt study of your every reaction doing nothing but fan the flames of your passion.

Saeyoung cries out in pain, his head snapping back to relieve the pressure on his scalp. "What…," he begins to question in a hurt voice until he seems to remember that his sibling is occupying the same bed. "Oh…" he breathes next to your ear, hand frozen on your chest. He hastily removes it to place on your hip when you shove at him, his throat clearing awkwardly as he adjusts the leg between your thighs. "Well...this is…uh..."

"Good morning," you utter weakly when words fail your husband, trying to force a smile.

Saeran's eyes flick up to meet his brother's and an eyebrow quirks. "Apparently," he answers dryly. He gives your fingers a brief squeeze and your face catches fire. Panic makes your heart clench when you realize your fingers are firmly entwined with his against the pillow he rests on. When his green eyes return to yours you think his lips twitch, but the movement is gone before it even registers. He presses a small kiss on your hand, his lips lingering against your skin before releasing you and sitting up.

A myriad of emotions clouds your mind, embarrassment, and self-reproach the most prevalent. _How could I not realize I was holding his hand? God, I'm most likely the one who woke him up. What would have happened if I didn't open my eyes? Would he have just laid there quietly watching? How long_ _ **had**_ _he been watching?_ Of its own volition, your mind conjures images of being pressed between the two men, snapshots of two sets of naked limbs, wandering hands, and breathy moans filling your head. _What the hell are you thinking? Stop it! Our life isn't a porn movie._ You continue to berate yourself, staring at Saeran's back as he pulls on his jeans and moves to leave the room. You softly call out his name when he opens the bedroom door, your chest tight.

"I owe you breakfast," he answers over his shoulder before slipping through the door.

Saeyoung's head drops to your shoulder as soon as you hear the soft click of the door shutting. His shoulders shake with laughter and you crane your neck to look at him. "Are you... _laughing_?" you ask incredulously, shrugging him off.

"Come on," he replies, his mouth returning to your ear. The mirth in his voice is obvious though he has managed to stop laughing outright. "You have to admit that was pretty amusing."

The hand on your hip slides back under your shirt, caressing your abdomen as he resumes nibbling your earlobe. You flip onto your back to stare up at him in disbelief. "What are you doing?"

Your husband stares back at you in confusion, his head tilting in question. "Attempting to make love to my wife?"

"You can _not_ be serious right now," you snap, moving away from him and sitting up. "And there was nothing _amusing_ about that." You bury your face in your hands, the instant your eyes locked with Saeran's replaying in your mind. When you speak again, your voice is muffled. "We almost had sex in front of _your brother_."

"But we didn't," Saeyoung protests, clearly not understanding the issue. He sits and slides closer to you. He attempts to kiss you, but you turn your head, causing his lips to fall on your cheek. It's the first time you've ever rejected his affection and you aren't surprised when his posture immediately stiffens. "Why are you so bothered about this?" he asks in a low, hurt voice.

"Why are you _not_?" you retort slipping from the bed to look down at him. "Think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Would you be happy to wake up and find Saeran dry humping me?"

"That's different," Saeyoung responds heatedly. "You're my wife."

"Right and because you decreed it so, I'm _his_ wife too."

"I can't believe we're arguing about this," your usually jovial spouse mutters in anger. He flings back the covers and stands to face you from the other side of the bed. "Is this how it's going to be from now on? I need permission from my little brother to fuck you?"

"Of course you don't," you scoff, rolling your eyes.

"Good, because he certainly didn't care about how I felt when he marked you as his," he accuses forcefully. His eyes dart fleetingly to the mark that stands out on your pale skin and your hand shoots up to cover the small bruise.

Fury makes you see red and you wish you had something close to hand that you could throw at your husband's head. "What happened to 'no more guilt', and 'if I don't have a problem with it, you shouldn't either'? Are those the only things that were bullshit? Or has it been everything that's come out of your mouth since you claimed you wouldn't object?"

The target of your ire flings his arms out in exasperation. "Do you hear me objecting?" His face flushes, the volume of his voice climbing.

"No, I hear you being a jealous asshole because _my husband_ left a hickey on my neck," you rebound fervently.

"You act like that's surprising," Saeyoung retorts, snatching up his spectacles and slipping them on. "Nothing I've told has been a lie, including the fact that I'm jealous. I'm trying to give you what you want, but you're making it difficult."

You laugh in disbelief. " _I'm_ making it difficult? I'm not the one telling you something one day then completely changing my mind the next."

"I haven't changed my mind," he insists, running both hands through his messy hair.

"Then why are you standing there making me feel the exact opposite of what you claimed I should be feeling? Do you want me to feel ashamed?"

"Maybe I do," he snaps, his hands falling to his sides in loose fists and you flinch at the bitterness in his voice. "Don't you feel even the least amount of guilt doing that with him and not even wanting me to touch you now?"

"Are you serious?" You blink at him in astonishment. His words are so contradictory to everything he's told you up to this point that you're not quite sure what to say. Your mind grapples with the words to express how betrayed you feel at his question. Instead, all you can do is wonder if this sick feeling of broken trust is the way he's been feeling since you walked out of Saeran's bedroom. _How do I make one of you happy without hurting the other?_ The question dies on your tongue, your eyes searching his bright golden ones. The love and affection you usually see shining back at you are obscured by pain and jealousy. You sadly realize that nothing you say right now can appease the storm raging inside him. "I...I'm going to get dressed and have breakfast," you state instead, attempting to give him time to cool down so you can talk this out calmly.

He glares at you for a few moments before letting out a humorless breath of laughter when he realizes there are no answers forthcoming. "So much for the whole 'talk to me' thing, right?" He storms from the room and you wince at the raucous sound of the bathroom door slamming shut.

Taking in a shuddering lung-full of air, you force yourself to move towards the large walk-in closet instead of making a beeline for the bathroom door as you want to. Five minutes later you enter the kitchen and immediately take note of the two plates of food sitting on the table. Saeran sits in front of one, tapping the screen of his phone until he sees you. Instantly his face transforms into a look of joy and he smiles at you invitingly. He sets his phone face down beside his food. "You need groceries," he comments offhand as you take your regular seat at the table. "There were only enough eggs for two."

You place your hands on each side of your plate and stare down at the perfectly prepared omelet. Your stomach is churning and you're numb from everything except the guilt that is eating away at you. You were aware that your spouse's jealousy was going to be an issue but you never imagined it would make you feel so vile. The knowledge that your husband is so troubled by the small mark on your skin makes you feel as if you've been unfaithful to your marriage. In turn, that strong sense of contrition feels like a betrayal to the brother who currently sits beside you.

You can feel Saeyoung enter the room, even with your back to the entrance. The atmosphere around you is instantly tense, the waves of anger rolling off of him hitting you directly in the chest. You search for a way to fix what seems to have broken in an instant, but with things the way they are, whatever you do is going to devastate one of them. _What happens if I can't do this?_ His words echo from your memories and you raise your eyes to look at his twin.

 _Then things go back to the way they were, or as close as they can be._ Did you really say something so naive? Your gaze traces the lines of Saeran's face and the vice in your chest loosens fractionally at the memory of his sincere declaration of love. How could you ever think things could go anywhere close to the way they were? One day-no, twelve hours-and you were already in too deep with him. You can't imagine trying to live a life without him, as you could never survive without Saeyoung. No matter how you look at it, you've somehow begun to love them equally.

Saeran feels your gaze on him and looks up. One side of his mouth curves up, a lock of vermilion hair falling into his eyes. Your heart skips a beat and your bottom lip trembles at the thought of losing this beautiful man. The time you've had to love him without constraint has been too brief. "Eat," he commands, pointing to your untouched breakfast.

You jerk your head in the negative, your hands curling into loose fists on the table. "I don't think I can." The quiver in your voice puts him on alert, his hand covering your closest one.

He opens his mouth to ask you what's wrong when Saeyoung claps his twin on the back. "Congrats, little brother," he remarks and pulls out the chair opposite you, dropping into it.

Your back stiffens at the sneer in his voice. He sets his soda in front of him and opens the bag of chips he's grabbed from the cabinet, his eyes holding yours. "Leave him alone, Saeyoung," you demand quietly.

Saeran looks back and forth between you, his body still. The hand on top of yours squeezes your fingers, silently giving you strength. "It would appear," the older twin continues as if he didn't hear you, "that you're the one graced with all the affection now. I don't know what you did to her, but you managed to leave an impression; in more ways than one."

You wince and can see Saeran's cheeks pinken as his twin's words hit their mark. You slowly pull your hand from under his and place both of yours in your lap. The room is silent except for the crunch of potato chips as Saeyoung pops one in his mouth and chews. You peer at your husband from across the table, your fingers twisting nervously on your legs. You remember the tail end of the evening before when the three of you relaxed, doing nothing more than enjoying each other's company. One cohesive unit of three to love and support one another. That's what you thought would happen by bringing the three of you together. Instead, in such a short amount of time, it's been nothing but pain and heartache with tiny snippets of joy. "Please," you beg softly, "don't do this."

"Do what?" the ex-hacker asks in innocence, popping open his soda and taking a long drink. "Our relationship has always been open and honest, right?" He returns the open can to its place then leans back with a sigh, idly scratching his chest. "So, let's do that. Let's be _open_ and _honest_ about how many times my baby brother managed to make you come. I mean, it must have been a lot since you seem to prefer him touching you now. Or maybe it was a single amazing one," he lifts one shoulder in a small shrug. "I mean I thought when I made you come on the car-"

"I'm done," you interrupt, standing and pushing your full plate across the table. "Those chips are terrible for your health; especially for breakfast," you lecture, unable to resist worrying about his well-being, even in your distress. Your heart races, your body beginning to tremble as you prepare to do the unthinkable. You can't sit here and allow him to sabotage his relationship with you and his brother whose face is now bright red. The only option is to take yourself out of the equation. For a brief moment you wish you could go back in time to prevent any of this from happening.

That is until you let your eyes drift to Saeran's bent head, his gaze on the half-eaten food in front of him. You can't help the fleeting thought that he resembles a little boy trying his best to appear as invisible as possible while his parents argue in front of him. Your heart is bursting with the emotions you can read coming from both men; Saeyoung's hurt and Saeran's shame. Two sentiments you bear the responsibility for. Instead of your love bringing you all together, it's doing nothing but driving you apart, and being here is doing none of you any good.

Without thinking, you reach up and run your fingers through Saeran's thick mane. When he raises his head to look at you, you give him a sad smile and run the backs of your fingers along his cheek. His hand reaches for yours and you allow him to clasp it in his own. He stares into your watery eyes, his eyebrows twitching down into a frown at what he finds there. Giving you a small shake of his head, his grip tightens. "I'm sorry," you apologize in a small voice then take a breath and force yourself to return your gaze back to Saeyoung. He stares at you, his eyes narrowed after witnessing your display of fondness for his twin. You realize it probably wasn't your best course of action, but there is something about the shorter twin that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You try to speak past the lump in your throat, but find that it's too painful. Swallowing hard, you sort through your head to find something-anything-to say to erase the sour expression from your husband's face. You manage to briefly hold his stare but after a few moments you have to look away. Turning your head to the empty side of the room, you swipe at your cheeks before pivoting to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Saeyoung calls out to your back and you hesitate. You rest your hand on the counter beside you for a brief moment to gather your courage before you turn back around to address him.

"Last night with the three of us in the bed, there was a moment of...well, perfection. There was no blame...no guilt...only the three of us, loving each other," you pause to let your words sink in. "That's what this is about. It's not about which one of you I prefer because the truth is, I care about you the same. You said that from now on, Saeran and I are married, so, that makes me as much his as I am yours. But the last thing I ever want to do is hurt either of you. So, if- _when_ \- you can, go back and remember what that moment felt like. I have faith in you, Saeyoung, and I have faith in the love you have for us, but there's jealousy and then there's what you're doing right now; this I can't do."

He calls out to you again as you finally leave the room. Hearing his chair scrape across the floor in his haste to stand, you quicken your pace to the front door. You slip on your shoes and grab your bag, but not quick enough to avoid him catching up to you and clasping your arm. "Where are you going?" he repeats though his anger appears to have spent itself. Glancing behind him you see Saeran standing a few yards away, all color drained from his face, his piercing green eyes full of concern as he watches the pair of you.

You slip from the older twin's loose grasp, looking up at him as you blink back more tears. Your hands shake and your legs feel weak, but you manage to stand your ground. "Anywhere but here," you answer, your voice trembling.

"Don't go," Saeyoung pleads, his beautiful honey-colored eyes darting between yours. "I-"

"You need more time to think," you interrupt, raising your hand instinctively to touch him. Before it makes contact with his chest you stop and it drops back to your side. Lowering the volume of your voice to where only he can hear, you lean into him. "If in that time you decide that you were mistaken...if this is something you can't do, _you_ break your brother's heart. That is something I can't do; I _won't_."

Your eyes return to the younger of the two, the tears you've been trying to suppress breaking free to slide down your cheeks. The look on his face pierces your heart; the joy he'd greeted with you only minutes before completely replaced by sorrow and regret. "You've done _nothing_ wrong," you state firmly, holding his gaze with yours.

"But-" he begins but you are quick to cut him off.

"Nothing," you insist before your eyes switch back to the brother standing before you. "...neither have I."

Instead of taking the door leading out to the garage, as you'd planned, you exit through the front. You expect Saeyoung to follow you immediately and are surprised when you manage to make it out into the heated summer day alone. The sun is almost mid-sky and you realize the three of you must have overslept later than you thought. The memory of being embraced by both twins warms your heart as much as the heat surrounding you warms your skin and you close your eyes, tilting your face to the sky as you pause halfway between the garage and front door.

 _When you open your eyes, the room is dark except for a small amount of moonlight that seeps in through the small bedroom window to fall across the face of the man lying beside you. His eyes are open, studying you silently, and you can't help but smile at the sight of him. When he notices you're awake, he reaches up and brushes the hair from your cheek, his fingers skimming over your skin._

" _What time is it?" you whisper, trying not to wake the other male behind you._

 _Saeran lifts his head and glances over your and Saeyoung's shoulders to look at the glowing alarm clock. "Almost four-thirty," he whispers back, letting his head fall back to his folded arm._

 _You yawn and stretch before moving closer to him. Tucking your head under his chin you inhale deeply, relishing the scent that is so much different from his sibling's. "...so early," you whine, your words muddled with sleep. "Why are you awake?"_

 _His arm comes around you, his hand resting against your head on his chest, his fingers absently running through your hair. He drops a kiss on the top of your head and sighs. "I'm afraid to close my eyes," he admits, still whispering. "I'm scared that if I do, I'll wake up and all this will have been a dream."_

" _So you've been lying there watching me sleep?"_

" _That's creepy, right?" he asks, the smile in his voice heating you deliciously._

" _Perhaps a bit," you giggle, pulling back to raise your face to his. You touch his cheek with your fingertips, enjoying the prickly feel of his stubble. "If it's you, I don't think I mind so much, but you don't need to be frightened, I'm not going anywhere."_

 _He clasps your hand and presses his lips against your palm before placing it over his racing heart. You're reminded of that night he finally confessed the feelings he'd been holding inside for so long and your heart swells. He then leans into you, his breath hot on your forehead. "I love you," he breathes against you, his mouth showering small kisses over your face._

 _When he finally presses his lips to yours, you melt into him. Your heart rate increases to match his, your hand snaking around his waist and sliding under his shirt. Your fingers trail along the heated skin of his lower back, not meaning to but mentally taking notes of the differences between him and his brother. Saeran's body is leaner, his muscles not quite as defined, though they are close. When he'd moved in with the two of you, he'd been too scrawny, the drugs and lack of nutrition during his time at Mint Eye taking a toll on his body as well as his mind._ _But with a great amount of patience and perseverance, he gradually allowed you to nurse him back to health; the build beneath your touch a result of your unrelenting love and care._ _There's still a slightness to his frame, but the solidness of it strongly encourages you to wrap yourself in his embrace even further._ _Your hand moves higher up his back, and you feel several small, puckered scars marring the smooth skin. You finger one and he gently moves your arm until he can grab your hand and place it against his cheek. For the moment you allow him to avoid your caresses, sliding your hand into his hair to hold him close as his tongue meets yours._

 _While there is never any doubt about who the more dominant one is when kissing Saeyoung, Saeran's kisses border on assertiveness before pulling back to allow you control. Your tongue delves into his mouth, the taste of him filling your senses and making you lightheaded. Before you know it, you're sprawled half on top of him, one of his legs between yours, his arms holding you tightly. Your fingers move restlessly on the back of his neck, your knee pressing lightly against the semi-erect bulge in his boxer briefs. His now free hands slide down your back and into the waistband of your shorts, cupping your bare ass and pulling you higher against him._

 _Your breaths become heavier as lust threatens to overtake you both. Saeran's hands squeeze the fullness of your behind, a soft groan escaping his throat when your leg rubs against his crotch. The sound makes you bolder and one of your hands slides down his body, coming to rest on his bare abdomen where his shirt has ridden up. The muscles under your hand tighten at the contact of your flesh against his and you kiss your way down the column of his neck, your hot breath dampening his skin. Your other hand pulls down the collar of his shirt and you bite his collarbone, smiling at his sharp hiss of breath. You lick the injured area then pull it into your mouth, sucking hard, and his fingers contract on your body, his back arching slightly into you._

 _When you release him he catches your mouth, his tongue swirling with yours frantically. Even so, when your hand wanders lower to tease at the elastic band of his underwear, he removes one hand from your clothing and gently grabs your wrist. "Wait," he gasps then pauses to catch his breath. His other hand slides up your body to rest below your ear, his thumb running over the curve of your lips before caressing your cheek. "I want you so much, but I don't think this is the time or place." His head lifts to kiss you sweetly, the hand at his waist bringing yours to rest back on his chest. "When I finally have you I don't want to worry about being quiet," he explains in a whisper against your mouth. "I want to hear every moan, every gasp...I don't want to miss even one syllable of you crying out my name."_

 _His words do nothing to douse the arousal surging through you. Instead, the fire that has been slowly building bursts into an inferno and you let out a low moan of need. The hand at your ear slides behind your head and presses you into another kiss, this one hard and demanding. Your fingers dig into his flesh, the longing to have him fill you driving your hips to move against him restlessly._

 _Eventually, he releases your mouth and you rest your forehead against his, your eyes closed as you try to slow your breathing. "How do you do that?"_

" _What?" Saeran inquires, his hand slowly stroking your back._

 _You lift your head and peer into his striking green orbs. "How do you make me want you so much just by uttering a few words?"_

 _He laughs quietly and tucks a lock of hair behind your ear. "You tell me," he answers, giving you a grin. "Your voice does crazy things to me."_

 _Suddenly, Saeyoung mutters something in his sleep and your eyes widen. It's not that you'd forgotten he was there, but while in the haze of desire the reality that he was only an arm's length away-at most-faded to a vague impression. Reluctantly you roll off your almost lover and sigh in unfulfilled hunger. His arm circles your waist, his face nuzzling the space between your shoulder and neck. "Soon," he reassures you quietly, hugging you close._

" _I know," you sigh again, turning your head to look at the man who stole your heart a little over four years ago in a chatroom. It took him only the span of four days to capture that most fragile part of you and a single second to shatter it. But you picked up the pieces and held them together long enough for the love you knew he had for you to put them back together. "At least one of us is still thinking," you comment, biting your lip and casting your gaze up to the dark ceiling. "I don't know if I could have ever forgiven myself if things had gone much further with him right here."_

" _Yeah, I don't think Saeyoung would be comfortable with that yet." Saeran looks past you to his sleeping brother and you feel him stiffen slightly._

" _You ok?" Your head turns to look in his direction and he quickly relaxes, giving you a small smile._

" _I'm more than ok," he answers and leans over to press his lips against the corner of your mouth. "You should get some sleep."_

 _You nod in agreement. "You too, no more watching me." You give him a quick kiss then turn over, your back pressed against him. You stare at the slumbering face of your husband, your eyes adjusted enough to the dark to just make out the lines of his face. For a moment you think you can see the golden hue of his eyes, but it is so quick that you chalk it up to your eyes playing tricks on you._

 _He suddenly moves a couple of inches closer to you and slides his hand onto your hip before wrapping an arm around you only marginally lower than Saeran's. You feel his fingers press into your lower back briefly and your heart jumps, but his eyes remain closed. Finally, you close your eyes, your arm touching both brothers as it drapes across theirs, your fingers tenderly caressing Saeyoung. The last thing you remember is hearing the deep, even breaths of the twins sleeping peacefully._

You pull yourself from your memory and open your eyes, blinking against the harsh sunlight. You glance back at the entrance to the bunker then your feet begin to move, leading you into the massive garage. You head straight for the small car your husband bequeathed you the night before, shaking hands fumbling to retrieve the key and unlock it. Quickly you slide into the driver's seat and insert the key fob into the 'Engine Start' slot in the middle console. The engine purrs to life and you fiddle with the knobs until you find what you're looking for then turn the a/c to max and lean your head against the steering wheel.

His breathing; if you'd been paying more attention you would have realized that Saeyoung's breathing was rapid and shallow when you returned to your position between the two men. That means your eyes weren't playing tricks on you in the dark; your husband had been watching you make out with his twin. Your mind works furiously to figure out what exactly he saw but you can't be sure. Whatever it was, it's enough to damn you when you refused his advances.

Everything is suddenly clear to you and you laugh humorlessly. "How is this my life?" The question fills the empty space of the small car and you lift your head to softly bang it back down. No wonder Saeyoung is so angry with you. His wrath isn't because of a small hickey, it's because you refused to do with him what you almost did in front of him with someone else.

You start violently when the passenger door opens, your head snapping up to see Saeran fold himself into the compact car. You watch as he closes it behind him and turns to face you. His expression is one of anxiety and your chest tightens. "Are you alright?" he asks softly.

You nod. "Are you aware that Saeyoung saw us this morning?"

"Yes," he answers, his eyes dropping to his lap. "I saw his eyes open...after…"

Your head falls back onto the headrest and you sigh. "All I keep doing is hurting him," you mutter. "Maybe it would be better for both of you if I really did just disappear."

"No," the intense young man beside you denies vehemently. Your head turns and your eyes lock onto his. Panic swims in their depths and you have to look away before you begin to tear up. "Saeyoung can't function without you. Leaving would only destroy him...destroy both of us," he finishes softly.

"I don't know how to do this, Saeran," you rebound, the back of your head rolling across the cushion as you shake your head.

Saeran sighs. "First of all, you need to stop worrying about me so much. I know your heart was in the right place refusing him but there's no need for it. I've been watching the two of you for years now, I learned a long time ago how to control my jealousy."

Your head lolls back in his direction, your gaze interrogating the flustered one searching yours. "And you were watching us this morning because…"

His face flushes, his eyes falling away from your stare. "That was…," his voice trails off uncomfortably, his eyes darting around the interior of the car, avoiding your gaze.

"Saeran," you prod quietly, reaching over to grab his hand when he doesn't respond. Finally, he meets your stare and your breath stops for a second at the heat in his. "Did it...I mean were you…" You falter over your words, unsure of how to ask what you want to know. Your own face flushes at the memory of the way he gazed at you as his sibling's hands moved over your body and you clear your throat, averting your eyes.

He makes a small sound of confirmation, his own eyes dropping to your clasped hands, the tips of his ears turning pink. "It's impossible to hear you make those noises and not be," he admits huskily. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…"

"You didn't," you reassure him immediately and you feel your body temperature rise in embarrassment. "I...well..the way you were staring at me...it...enhanced...everything…," your words slowly die away and your eyes slide closed in mortification. "I don't know what's happening to me. It's like everything I thought I knew about myself is...wrong," you open your eyes and peer at his bent head. "When I fell in love with Saeyoung I thought, 'this is it, I'm never going to feel this strongly about anyone else', but I was wrong. Now I'm sitting here, admitting that when you watched us…,"

"You," he corrects, raising his head and pinning you with his stare. "I was watching you. The only notice I took of my brother is that whatever he was doing was giving you pleasure. I...your reactions…" His voice falters and he lets out a puff of embarrassed laughter, his hand ruffling his hair. "Jesus, this is humiliating," he mutters, twisting his head to the side to stare out the front windshield.

"Hey," you cajole, tugging at his hand when he fails to answer. Still receiving no reaction, you lean over the console that separates you and place a hand on his cheek, gently bringing his attention back to you. You kiss one corner of his mouth, then the other before brushing your lips against his. "I love you," you tell him, your fingers pushing his overgrown locks out of his eyes. "You don't have to be bashful about anything with me. I want to know as much as I possibly can about what you're thinking and feeling." Your lips return to his and his hand rises to rest against the side of your neck. "Tell me," you breathe against him, your pulse hammering. The air around you in the enclosed space has shifted, your awareness of each other causing an exquisite sense of anticipation to envelop you.

He hesitates for a moment before closing the small space between you and pressing a soft kiss against your mouth as if gaining courage before he begins to speak in a low voice. "I can't stop thinking about how you looked when he touched you here," his fingers trace the fullness of your breast, lingering at the tip and you let out a shuddering breath, your eyes closing at the sensation of his touch. Your response melts away his uncertainty, giving him the boldness to continue. "Then I think of how beautiful you were when you came beneath me on the sofa, and I wonder if he'd been allowed to continue, would you have come for him the same way?"

Your eyes open slowly and peer into his, the yearning flowing through you reflected in his penetrating gaze. "Did you want me to?" you inquire thickly, your hand coming to rest over his racing heart.

He nods cautiously, gauging your reaction to his confession. "Yes," he verbalizes hoarsely, the hand holding yours in his lap convulsing. When you show no signs of distress, he timidly slants his mouth over yours, his stare holding yours until your lips meet.

His admission excites you, the sudden slickness between your legs making you squirm in the bucket seat and silently curse the obstacle that keeps you from embracing him properly. The world around you disappears as his tongue slides against yours sensually, his hand falling to your bare knee before skimming up your thigh and slipping under the hem of your skirt. He halts before reaching the edge of your panties, his fingers kneading the supple flesh ardently.

Suddenly the world crashes back down around you when you remember the multiple security cameras scattered throughout the garage. Pulling away from Saeran, you glance frantically around the expansive space and sigh in relief when you see the closest camera is mounted several spaces behind the car you're currently occupying. If Saeyoung is observing you-which you have no doubt he is-he will be unable to see anything through the tinted rear window.

You slump back, letting out a long, frustrated breath. Your focus returns to the man who is regarding you with open adoration and your heart stutters, a smile of elation curving your lips. Quickly you grip the front of his shirt and pull him toward you, needing to taste him once more before reality completely invades the bubble in which you're enclosed. You kiss him passionately, his groan of hunger making you giddy. His hands cup your face, tilting your head to grant him better access and he kisses you deeply, drawing from you a high-pitched whine of longing.

When you part, he rests his forehead against yours, eyes closed, his hot breath mingling with yours as you both try to slow your racing hearts. "God, I want to be inside you," he murmurs, his hands fisting in your hair. You let out a soft groan at his words, your fingers twisting the fabric of his shirt. His lips brush across yours tenderly, his hands lowering to graze across your neck before continuing their descent to run down your arms and finally clasps yours.

"I should go," you say breathlessly, your voice full of regret. "If we're out here much longer Saeyoung is bound to come looking for you. Not being able to see in the car will drive him crazy."

Saeran raises your joined hands, his lips whispering across your knuckles. "Where are you going to go?" The concern is back in his expression and you try to give him a smile of reassurance.

"I'll probably end up at Zen's," you answer, surprised when your somber husband scowls at you. You let out a peal of puzzled laughter. "What is that look for?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he counters instead of answering, his frown deepening when you nod.

"He's an amazing friend," you explain, your mood already lightening at the thought of spending time with your best friend. Zen always manages to cheer you up, no matter how down in the dumps you are. He would do anything to make you laugh, claiming that you are only yourself when a smile graces your features. He is always there when you need him and you suspect that he has even rearranged his schedule a time or two to accommodate you.

"Just...be careful around him," Saeran is saying grimly, a stain of pink across his cheeks.

You bite your lip to keep from laughing at his worried expression. If you didn't know better you'd think he is jealous. "Zen is a perfect gentleman," you insist and he stares at you unconvinced.

"He's still a man," he asserts, his hands tightening on yours. He glances down at your bare legs and glowers. "Maybe you should change clothes first."

"Saeran," you scold gently, drawing his attention back to your face. "If you don't trust Zen, at least trust me. I'm not interested in him as anything but a friend, I swear. I know to most women he's perfect, but to me, he doesn't come close to you and Saeyoung."

"Fine," he finally acquiesces grudgingly, "but if he touches you I'll break his perfect nose."

You blink at your usually reticent spouse in disbelief at the violence of his threat, though you can't help the small thrill of pleasure you feel at his display of possessiveness. The resolve in his eyes gives you no doubt that he is completely serious about his warning, and you place a hand on his cheek to quiet the anger that seems to have manifested itself so suddenly. You open your mouth to soothe him when your phone vibrates in your bag.

Retrieving the device you look at the screen in dread, already knowing what you'll see. Sure enough, a notification that Saeyoung has opened the tracker app stares back at you and you sigh. Never before has a single notification filled you with such mixed emotions; annoyance that your normally easygoing husband refuses to allow you any time alone with his twin, guilt about what you have been doing with said twin for the past ten minutes and overwhelming affection at the urge that drove him to open the app already knowing exactly where you are. To you, the notification is a loud declaration you are on his mind and means to assure you he is no longer angry.

Whatever indignation that remains from your earlier encounter dwindles and your eyes sting with unforeseen tears. While Saeyoung's words were uncalled for, he did have every right to react the way he did. What else was he supposed to believe after seeing you being intimate with his brother then rejecting his overtures? As much as you understand his actions you can't push aside the things he said to you in anger and the fact that his response to your refusal of his advances made you feel like a whore. Whether it was his intention or not, that is exactly the feeling his barbs invoked. You don't realize you've begun to silently weep until Saeran wipes away the wetness on your cheek with a thumb, his face a mask of concern.

"Is it Saeyoung?"

You nod setting the phone face down on your lap and putting on your seatbelt. The inability to face your husband yet drives you to hasten your departure. You look at the car's controls and freeze, realizing you have no idea how to drive this car. Not only that but you discover you can't see over the steering wheel and no matter how much you search you can't seem to find any button or lever to raise the seat. "Are you kidding me?" you mutter in frustration and finally glance at the man observing your struggle. "I can't drive this thing," you declare in annoyance, throwing up your hands in defeat.

Saeran chuckles under his breath then reaches for the passenger door's handle. "Switch with me, I'll take you where you want to go."

You exit the expensive car and meet him at the rear where he pulls you into his arms and hugs you tightly when you try to pass him. Your arms encircle his waist, your head resting on his chest, enjoying the steady beat of his heart. One hand strokes your head tenderly as he presses a light kiss on your temple. "Saeran?" you prod gently when he shows no signs of releasing you, acutely aware of the fact that there is a security camera pointed directly at you.

He shushes you and squeezes you firmly. "I just want to hold you for a minute," he says, his voice echoing softly in the vast space. You relax against him and close your eyes, allowing his scent to surround you and ease your frazzled nerves. "Be sure to come back to me," he finally utters, his voice breaking.

A sharp pain pierces your chest and your arms tighten around him. His greatest fear is being left behind and you wish desperately that there was another way. But you know Saeyoung and you know that he needs time to himself to come to terms with your new life. The option to stay with Saeran in the meantime flits across your mind but you quickly dismiss it. Doing that would only make things worse. "I will," you promise, your eyes pricking.

He releases you and swipes at his eyes with the heels of his hands. Looking down at you he gives you one of the half smiles that make you weak and reaches up to trace the curve of your cheek. "I'm sorry loving me is causing you so much pain."

You grasp his wrist and shake your head, your tears slipping unnoticed from the corners of your eyes. "Loving you is one of the best things that's ever happened to me," you inform him earnestly, your fingers tightening around him. Without thought you stand on tiptoe to capture his mouth, your lips grazing his sweetly, needing to reassure him that his love is not a burden.

When you separate, Saeran darts a glance up at the security camera and hugs you once more before pulling away. "Let's get going," he urges. "I can't imagine Saeyoung's patience lasting much longer; especially after that."

* * *

When Saeran returns, just over an hour later, Saeyoung watches from his workstation as his brother pulls into the garage and parks. When he exits the car and begins to make his way inside, the bespectacled twin drops his gaze down to the smartphone that lays silent on the desk in front of him. You'd turned your phone off half an hour ago after his multiple attempts to text, call, and-when those failed-track you.

The way events transpired earlier has left a bitter taste in his mouth and his eyes ache from the tears he's shed since you walked out the front door. He hadn't meant the cruel things he'd said to you and he'd give anything to take them back. The only defense for his behavior is that when it comes to you he's unable to be rational. If he had taken the time to consider what you were saying, he would have realized that you weren't rejecting him so much as trying to walk a tightrope between his feelings and his twin's. He knows it's futile but he unlocks his phone and refreshes the app that has become so much more than just a way to pinpoint your location. As he knew it would, the app displays a 'user location unknown' notification and his chest tightens with grief. "Please," he whispers wretchedly though there's no one to hear his plea.

His mind takes him back to the pre-dawn hours of the morning when he'd awakened to the sound of you and his sibling whispering to each other quietly. He's always been a light sleeper, his childhood spent on high alert for Saeran's late-night bouts of terror, desperate to quiet his terrified little brother before their mother was disturbed. Now he usually manages to sleep more than just a few hours he used to get by on before he met you, but the habit of waking at any sound of out the ordinary persists.

He hadn't meant to spy on the two of you, he was merely intrigued to observe the way you interacted when you were alone. When his brother began kissing you, it felt like it was too late to call attention to himself without making things awkward so he'd not said anything. At first, he tried to close his eyes and pretend to be somewhere else, determined not to hamper the growing bond between the two of you. But when the tell-tale sounds of your arousal reached his ears, the urge to know exactly what was happening was too great to resist.

He can't explain the compulsion to continue scrutinizing the pair of you, other than a strong sense of curiosity and the unexpected rush of blood to his cock. Objectively he knows that his reaction was just a result of the stimulus of your soft moans of pleasure, but he can't help but feel unsettled that instead of the jealousy he expected it felt more like watching himself elicit the frantic hunger he could feel coming from you. Even now, he can feel stirrings of life in his crotch at the memory of how turned on he could sense you were and he shifts in his chair, forcefully pushing the recollections into the recesses of his memory.

"Hyung," Saeran calls out softly from the small room's entrance to gain his older brother's attention and takes note of his raw eyes. "Are you alright?"

Saeyoung stares at his sibling, wanting- _needing_ -to be angry with him but finding himself unable to conjure the emotion he so desperately desires. You had the right of it before you left, neither of you has done anything wrong. "Where is she?" he inquires, ignoring his brother's question. It's obvious to anyone who glances at him that he's far from alright.

"I don't know," the younger man reveals, holding up his hands in surrender when his twin narrows his eyes. "All I know is that she wanted me to drop her off on Main Street, which I did."

"And she made you promise not to tell me where she's going, right?" The sheepish look that his sibling gives him is answer enough and he sighs. _So, I'm going to have to find you the hard way._ He swivels his chair around to face the numerous monitors displayed on his desk and begins using the talent he was graced with.

It doesn't take much thought to realize that you are with Zen, or at least you will be at some point before the day is over. Your friendship with the statuesque actor has never bothered Saeyoung. If Zen was your type, you would have chosen to be with him rather than going through the hell you did to gain the ex-agent's affection. Even the flirtatious banter the two of you exchange fails to invoke any shred of jealousy within the red-head. He understands it's just a part of the older man's personality and his way of showing his fondness for you. He should feel bad for what he's about to do, but if his hunch is correct, it's the simplest way to find you. "Sorry, Zen," he apologizes as he deftly hacks into his friend's phone and promptly checks his location. Seeing he appears to be at home, Saeyoung accesses the phone's text log, swiftly finding what he's looking for.

 **MC:**

12:30pm: Hey babe! Do you have rehearsal today?

 **ZEN:**

12:31pm: Nope! The director had to bail due to personal obligations. What's up?

 **MC:**

12:32pm: Do you want to grab lunch? We can try that noodle place near your apartment.

 **ZEN:**

12:32pm: Absolutely! What time do you want to meet?

 **MC:**

12:33pm: How about now?

 **ZEN:**

12:33pm: Sounds good, can't wait to see you. Xx

Reading over the texts Saeyoung realizes that you must have powered down your phone right after making plans to meet your friend. He feels a small amount of relief that his suspicion is correct, able to calm his agitation somewhat by at least knowing you are safe. With his mind set at ease, he closes the text log and spins his chair back around to peer at his twin.

"You guys were in the Aston for awhile," he comments, trying to sound casual and failing miserably. He's dying to know what happened in the sleek sports car. It had taken every ounce of willpower he possesses to keep himself from rushing to you as the minutes ticked by with no movement from either of you. His eyes had been glued to the large television mounted above his desk, his eyes burning from staring so hard at the grainy black and white feed.

Saeran stares back at him in silence, his face expressionless. "We were talking," he says, at last, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Right," Saeyoung mutters, not believing for a second that the only activity taking place in the automobile was mere conversation. He's seen the chemistry between you when in his presence, he can only imagine how it is between you when you're not forced to restrain yourselves. "Did you happen to discuss the reason you were just laying there watching us this morning?"

The more introverted of the two considers his brother fleetingly then nods. "We did," he admits, his face reddening faintly, though he manages to maintain eye contact with his twin.

"Are you going to explain it to me?" Saeyoung leans back in his chair, his hands clutching the arms of the expensive desk chair.

"I imagine it's for the same reason you were watching _us,"_ his sibling retorts, slouching against the doorframe.

The golden-eyed twin sighs and rubs his eyes, dislodging his glasses in the process. "So you saw me."

"Yeah," Saeran admits, studying his brother's face as he straightens his spectacles. "MC did too," he divulges softly and feels a pang of sympathy for his twin when his face flushes.

"Shit," his sibling curses under his breath, his head falling back against the high back of the seat. He can only imagine what you think about him at this point. Do you believe his attempt to make love to you this morning was purposely done in front of his brother as a sort of revenge? You can't know that he was only half-awake when his hands began to roam over your body, and by the time he had been completely conscious, his brother was the last thing on his mind.

"She...well, she's not...upset about it," Saeran says hesitantly, trying to ease his older sibling's discomfort.

"Maybe," Saeyoung mutters, his face flaming. "Don't you think it's a bit messed up, though, that we just silently watched the other with her?"

The slightly shorter man shrugs a shoulder. "What's messed up to one person is normal to another," he comments rationally. "If your reason is anything like mine, then it wasn't like _I_ was the one turning you on."

"Of course not," the older twin denies immediately in horror, his face flaming. His head rises and he locks eyes with his brother. "She's the one I was watching...listening to; not you."

"Exactly." Shoving away from his position in the doorway, the green-eyed man shifts his weight, suddenly looking uncomfortable as he raises a hand to rub the back of his neck. "Listen, Hyung, do you...I mean, would it be easier for you if I took a step back?"

The seated twin's brows twitch down at the question, his gaze searching that of the man who is fidgeting in front of him. "What are you talking about?"

Saeran averts his eyes, his head lowering slightly as if in submission. "Earlier it just sounded like maybe you'd changed your mind…," his words falter and he appears to revert back to the hesitant little boy he was in the past, too frightened to voice his thoughts as his shoulders hunch and he appears to fold in on himself. Nervously, he softly clears his throat before continuing. "If you want me to...I," he stumbles over his words once again and heaves a sigh. "I can try to go back to being nothing more than her brother if that's what you need me to do. I mean I understand if you want her to yourself, but...I just want to be in her life."

Saeyoung's heart breaks as he observes all the confidence drain from his counterpart. Guilt that he's broken one of the most important persons in his life tugs at his chest painfully. He's out of his chair in an instant, crossing the short distance to pull his brother into an embrace. His twin stiffens briefly before his body relaxes and his arms hesitantly wrap around his brother's waist. Saeyoung's vision blurs, any animosity remaining dissipating with his tears.

Releasing the man who looks so much like himself, Saeyoung grips the back of his neck, resting his forehead against his. "I'm sorry I've been such an asshole," he says softly, wondering why he's made everything so difficult up unto this point. A clarity comes over him and he realizes that he's been expecting this to happen since his brother came to live with them. There has always been a special connection between you and his twin, and if he thinks about it, it makes sense you would be attracted to the other half of himself. He's blinded himself these past four years, looking past the signs that his sibling has loved you from the start.

He squeezes his brother's neck once then lets go, resting his hands on the smaller man's shoulders and holding his gaze. "I haven't changed my mind," he states firmly. "Earlier was a mistake; one I'm going to fix. I'm going to bring her back to us and the three of us are going to be a family. I promise, Saeran, this is what I want. I want you to feel that same unconditional love she gives me. I'm not going to stand in the way of your happiness anymore."

Saeran's demeanor instantly changes and he graces his brother with a radiant smile that makes the taller man's heart swell. He can't remember the last time he's seen his twin look so joyous, and it makes him curse all those that made his life so miserable, including himself. _You deserve all the happiness in the world, little brother. I'm just glad it's something I can so easily provide._

"Thank you, Hyung," the slighter twin says, his hands gripping his brother's forearms tightly. "I swear, I'll cherish her just as much as you do."

Saeyoung flushes in embarrassment despite the hope that blooms in his chest. It's taken a long time for the brothers to regain the tight bond they once shared after being kept apart for so long, but he finally feels like it's attainable. He knows if not for you, the task would be more difficult than it has been and he silently thanks God for sending you to them. "You don't have to thank me," he claims affectionately. "It shouldn't have even been a question."

Returning to his desk, he motions to an empty chair and quickly hits the spacebar on his keyboard to turn off the screen saver and inputs his password. Pulling up his friend's cell phone activity, he sees that the man appears to still be at home, or at least his phone is. Biting his lip, his thumb tapping rhythmically on his mouse, he debates utilizing his more illegal skills to locate you. Not that hacking into someone's cell isn't illegal but it is only the tip of the iceberg of what he can access. There's no doubt in his mind that you will eventually contact him, but he needs to do something to prove how committed he is to having Saeran be a part of your marriage, and he can't do that until he knows where you are. Glancing at his brother, who is watching in interest as he works, Saeyoung makes a decision.

"Let's find our wife, shall we?" he grins, flexing his fingers in anticipation.


	11. A Parallax of Three Part 1

**Chapter 11: A Parallax of Three Part 1**

A/N: I know! I know! This chapter is like a week overdue, and I can't even blame the holidays. What can I say? Writing buildup isn't the most fun thing in the world to do. BUT Here is the first part of a three-part chapter. That is why I am so late posting it. I was trying to get everything in one chapter and, as usual, there's just too much material. The song lyrics used in this chapter are from the song 'Untitled, 2014' by G-Dragon. They are translated from Korean so the accuracy may not be perfect but it's the best one I could find.

Huge props to Emimilykity. She helped me tremendously this chapter. Just about all of Zen's dialogue has been re-worked by her because I just couldn't find his voice. She's my go-to for all things Zen and she did a wonderful job putting my ideas into his words. She's currently working a Yoosung one-shot that is just...amazing. Seriously, go follow her because you do not want to miss what she's working on.

I want to address the fact that Ray's route will be out the end of next month. Whatever happens in that route will not affect my story. This story is based off the original game and secret endings. I'm not a huge fan of 'Another Story', other than the fact that Ray is perfect and his voice just...ugh, anyway I probably won't even play his route until I'm done writing this as I don't want his characterization to influence what I have going on here. I'm of the opinion that 'Another Story' is an alternate universe that Cheritz created of their own world. I'm not working in that universe (at least not at the moment). That said I hope you enjoy this chapter! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Music:

Surrender - Natalie Taylor  
Only Love (Acoustic) - Pvris  
Where's My Love (Piano Solo) - SYML

(Please see additional notes at the end)

* * *

"So, what are we watching?" Throwing himself down on the sofa beside you, Zen drapes an arm over its back, taking a long pull from the can of beer in his other hand. "Horror, action, romance…?"

It's been hours since you had lunch at a nearby restaurant to catch up on what feels like months of being apart. Although the urge to spill your guts about the most pressing issues of your life was tempting, you managed to keep the most important of your worries to yourself. You had to be careful about what you revealed, considering every word that passed your lips to ensure Zen wouldn't get suspicious. It's not in your nature to be untruthful; it's the entire reason you've always been so insistent with Saeyoung that there be no secrets between you. Lying by omission is still lying and the fact that you had to stare at your friend across the small table and pretend nothing is wrong turned the knot of stress in your stomach into a heavy stone. Laying eyes on the beaming actor, who only had eyes for you, had not done much to alleviate that sick feeling but it did draw many a nasty glance as he sat down across from you. It's not something uncommon when you appear in public with your friend, but after four years you still can't quite get used to the unwarranted venom of jealous fans. Not bothering to read the menu, he'd merely ordered what you were having and immediately jumped into conversation about his newest role and the training that comes along with it. He was like a breath of fresh air, but there's no doubt in your mind you would have been able to better enjoy your time together if not for the secret that consumes your every waking moment.

"Romance, of course," you answer now with a smirk, pointing the remote at the television and hitting 'play'. Secretly you're relieved to be out of the general population where you can fully be yourself. How Zen ever puts up with so much scrutiny, you will never understand. You take a long pull of the beer in your hand and tuck your legs beneath you. "The only things Saeyoung will watch are horror, sci-fi, and fantasy," you explain, settling back as the movie loads. "You can only watch so many robots become sentient before you feel like you're just watching the same movie over and over."

You friend chuckles, crossing his feet on the table in front of you. "I always figured Saeyoung for a comedy guy," he remarks, then groans when the opening scene appears on the screen. "Oh, come on! Seriously? This one again?"

"Excuse you," you remark, raising one perfectly arched brow. " _A Moment to Remember_ is the perfect movie when you need a good cry; which I do." Your second brow joins the first as you stare at your friend. "And why would you assume that my husband enjoys comedies? Just because he enjoys goofing around doesn't mean he's not a serious person. Once upon a time, he did manage to save my life without a scratch on me. You of all people should realize you can't judge a book by its cover."

Zen grins at you with a sheepish expression, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry."

Biting your lip, you hold his gaze for a few moments before the urge to laugh become too strong and finally burst into fits of giggles. Your friend stares at you in confusion until you're able to catch your breath and explain. "I'm just messing with you. Of course Saeyoung enjoys comedies, but I do too, so I don't complain."

"You…" he grumbles and grabs the square pillow that lays beside him, knocking it gently on your head as you resume giggling.

"Sorry," you gasp, holding your stomach. "You're just too easy. It's so cute the way your face get all flushed when you're embarrassed," you tease, poking at one reddened cheek, the bright color standing out against his pale skin. Playfully he smacks your hand away and your head drops to his shoulder, small bouts of laughter still shaking your frame.

"Stop teasing me and watch your tearjerker," he commands, placing the pillow between you, and you adjust your body to a more comfortable position, your head still resting against him.

Zen's begins to idly play with your hair as you turn your attention to the story unfolding on screen. A small purr of delight escapes your throat, your body relaxing as his long, capable fingers occasionally massage your scalp and he pauses. "Don't stop," you complain, reaching up to lightly tap his hand. "That feels nice." After a moment of hesitation, his digits resume their gentle rhythm and you sigh in contentment.

A half hour into the movie, you drain the remainder of your drink and sigh. "She's beautiful, even when she's crying," you comment in admiration about the actress beaming tearfully up at her co-star.

Your friend hums in agreement. "You always say that, but she can't hold a candle to you," he retorts and you snort, immune to his pretty words.

"Speaking of beauty, what happened to that woman you were seeing? The really pretty one," you inquire, twisting your head to look at him.

"You really have been on another planet," Zen teases. "I stopped seeing her months ago when she tried to seduce the head douche of C&R."

You gasp in horror. "What? How does she even know Jumin?"

"I introduced them," he answers grimly before draining his own beverage. "We happened to end up at the same restaurant he was having dinner with his father at. For some reason I still can't fathom, he stopped by our table to say hello. Two days later she showed up at his office unannounced and threw herself at the jerk."

"Did he force Jaehee to tell you, or did he actually inform you himself?"

Zen lets out a bark of angry laughter. "Oh, he was more than eager to break the news himself that I was seeing a gold digging...anyway, I've been kind of put off from dating since."

"Oh, Zen, I'm sorry," you console, an arm wrapping around his slim waist to comfort him. "One day I know you're going to find someone that's perfect for you."

"I could have sworn I already did," he simpers, "but it turns out she has strange taste in men. That cross-dressing weirdo seriously does it for you?"

While you know he is teasing, you can't help but acknowledge there is some truth to his words. There was an instant connection between you when you blindly entered their private chat room all those years ago. He was the first to befriend you and did everything in his power to make you feel welcome. Many nights you spent on the phone with him as he alleviated the loneliness and isolation you felt. More than once he'd hinted that he was interested in pursuing more than a friendship with you, but when it became apparent to everyone that you and the eccentric secret agent of the group developed feelings for one another, he quickly backed off. Since then he's been a loyal confidante, albeit an extremely flirty one.

"He really does," you sigh dreamily, the thought of his practically perpetual grin and quirky style bringing a smile to your face. You don't know if it's the alcohol you've been consuming for the past few hours or the overwhelming love you have for the unconventional man who is your husband, or both, but thinking of how dead the spark in his eyes was as they pleaded with you not to leave brings sudden tears to your own. Sitting up, you swipe at your cheeks, the urge to call Saeyoung so great that you find yourself reaching for your bag where it sits beside you. As soon as your fingers touch the soft leather you regain your senses and pull your hand back with a dejected sigh.

"You ok?" Zen passes you a box of tissues, his voice laced with concern. "You usually don't start crying until at least halfway through."

"I'm fine," you answer tearfully, accepting his offering. You pull a couple of the white objects from the container, then blow your nose and stand. "I'm going to get another beer, you want one?"

Ignoring the crimson gaze of your friend, you take his empty can along with yours to the small kitchen, tossing them into the recycling bin. Opening the refrigerator and peering inside, you let out a disappointed sigh when you realize all the alcohol is gone. Dragging yourself back to the living room, you rest your weight on your forearms near Zen's head. "We're out of beer," you inform him with a pout, propping your chin in one hand, observing the heart-wrenching scene playing out on the television.

The movie is so familiar you are able to recite the script line by line, much to your best friend's amusement. You don't know exactly what it is about this particular film that draws your interest so much, but the story of a man's wife developing early-onset Alzheimer's pulls at your heartstrings in a bittersweet way. Saeyoung manages to invade your thoughts once again and you can't help but wonder how he would react in the same situation. Years ago he confessed that his only fear was you forgetting him, so you imagine if something similar to what you're currently watching happened, your spouse would lose his mind. The compulsion to call him again engulfs you and you reach for your bag, but only to sling it over your shoulder.

"Come on," you tell your friend, tugging at his long ponytail. Making your way to the front door to slip on your shoes, you grin at his confused look. "We're going to buy more beer."

"And how are we going to do that? I don't think either of us is in any condition to drive at the moment," he answers sensibly.

"There's a store a couple of blocks away, right?" At his nod you stand and cross the room to grab his hand, pulling him to his feet. "So let's go. The fresh air will sober us up enough to drink more," you cajole and give him another grin. "My treat, as a thank you."

"Thanks for what?" He gives in and slips on his shoes, grabbing his keys as you exit the semi-basement apartment.

You skip up the few steps to the sidewalk and glance at him over your shoulder. "For loaning me your couch for the night, of course."

Zen freezes, blinking up at you from the bottom of the steps. "You're staying the night?" When you nod, his cheeks pinken and he clears his throat. "Do you...are you sure that's a good idea?"

Turning to meet his gaze, you place your hands on your hips. "I think it's a fabulous idea," you retort. "I'm not going home, not with things the way they are right now, and I don't have anywhere else to go where I won't be bombarded with a million questions." Pausing, an impish smirk curves your lips. "Don't worry, my lovely Zen, I promise not to slip into your bed in the middle of the night."

Zen lets out a puff of laughter from his nose and jogs up the steps to your side. "As if I'd worry about that happening! I'd just rather not get decked by your husband for getting the wrong idea.

Your face falls at the mention of your husband and you turn your face away briefly before tilting your head up to peer at him, forcing a smile and shrug. "Saeyoung won't care; he trusts you. Now come _on,_ I'm not nearly inebriated enough and the night is still young."

You ignore the look of doubt your companion graces you with and loop your arm through his, pulling him in the direction of the nearest convenience store. "What are you trying to forget, anyway?" he inquires, falling into step beside you, shortening his stride to match yours.

For a few moments you ignore the question, eyes downcast to the sidewalk. How much do you reveal? The truth would shock him and you can picture the lecture you would receive. Putting that aside, it's not only your secret to tell. Finally, you wave a hand in dismissal and lift your head to meet his intense stare, hoping, for once, that you are able to lie convincingly. "Oh, nothing much," you proclaim, praying your perceptive friend will not detect your deception. "Just this and that."

Zen's brows furrow in irritation. "You're really not going to tell me what's going on at home? Is it Saeyoung again? What'd he do this time?"

"No," you deny, the volume of your voice higher than you'd intended. "No," you repeat in a softer voice. "Things between us are...fine."

"Well, is it his brother?" your friend, who is so much more like a brother himself, persists.

Either by fate or a massive coincidence, you pause in front of the large picture window of an ice cream parlor. Inside the cheerfully bright interior, couples sit at compact tables that encourage a sense of intimacy. For a brief moment, you imagine Saeran and yourself seated at one of the tiny, round tables, hands clasped for all the world to see. It's something you want for him; want for both of you. Your love isn't something that should be hidden in shadows but put on display like the beautiful thing it is. Saeran deserves to proudly display the love he's found. For someone who never thought he was worth loving, it's crucial for you shower him with every last drop of love you have for him. You turn your body to face the man who towers over you, giving him a sad smile. "I know you mean well, Zen, but this is something I have to work through on my own. I swear, when I'm able to share everything that's going on, you will be the first person I call."

When the pair of you resume walking to your destination, both spouses pervade your thoughts and you fall back into silence. Your mind persists in bouncing back and forth between the two men, refusing to stay on one long enough for you to address your concerns before switching to the other. While you've told the truth about Saeyoung's opinion of you crashing at the thespian's home, it doesn't take much thought to realize that Saeran won't like the idea; in fact, you have no illusions that he won't be absolutely livid if he finds out.

The sun has already disappeared well beyond the horizon and the numerous street lights provide a dimly lit guide along the strip of shops, the bright lights of each establishment pouring out of open doors to help illuminate your path. "How _is_ your brother-in-law?" Your friend's innocent, concerned question throws you into a tailspin, and you mumble out a reply as snippets of the two lives you're leading play through your mind like a silent movie.

Dual smiles that are so different yet similar at the same time; gazes of devotion warming you even as your chest tightens with grief. All you want at the moment is to run to both of them; to feel the solid reassurance of their embrace.

The morning's events, before Saeyoung's anger exploded, cause you to contemplate what their separate interests in observing you with the other means and why it doesn't bother you in the least. Does the fact that you enjoyed being watched make you an exhibitionist? Are the twins voyeurists? Do you even care if they are? You never even considered the fact that deep inside you've been hiding any type of unconventional proclivity to the kinkier aspects of sex, but now curiosity about your own sexuality makes you want to discover just how far you're willing to go to explore this newly discovered facet of yourself.

Strangely enough, you've known since the second day of chatting with the mysterious and closely guarded seven zero seven over the clever messenger he developed that he was a kindred spirit; someone who understood your sense of humor and could possibly give your heart to. Oh, who are you kidding? Your heart was his the moment your phone conversations turned into more than mere banter. The scraps of personal information he let slip during your frequent, late-night talks revealed a man you were desperate to know. When it was obvious he was trying to hide his feelings from you, you were at the point of no return. Something about the chemistry between you and the way his voice made your body tingle and your stomach flutter convinced you he was someone special to you and always would be; even if he couldn't-or wouldn't-pursue anything deeper with you than a casual flirtation. That is until he could no longer hide his feelings that overtook him as quickly as your own. Yes, it had taken a lot of work to convince him that he was worthy of your love and that a life together was not only possible but inevitable. No one could deny the sparks that flew between you.

Compared to your previous sexual encounters, the first time Saeyoung touched you was more than just a physical exploration, it was a melding of your bodies and souls that left you breathless and willing to do anything to protect this precious man who loves you so freely and swears he would lay down his life for you if needs be. Nobody, not even your parents, has ever made you feel as loved and cherished as Saeyoung does.

Now, not only do you have an amazing husband who has been through hell and back and still managed to learn how to love, but you also have his other half. The brother who possesses his brother's looks, but a completely different personality. A man who seems to have survived the nine circles of hell yet still found the courage to let you and his brother undertake the difficult task of supporting him through his withdrawals from the drugs, in addition to overcoming the mental and physical abuse Rika plied him with for years. It had taken a long time for Saeran to trust his brother, and even longer to trust you, but now you have no doubt of his love for you; and yours for him.

Zen slides his hand down to grasp yours, pulling you to a stop to face him. Gently he wipes away the salty wetness that has pooled at the corners of your mouth, his ruby eyes full of sympathy. Unaware that you've been crying, you blink up at him, seeing the question he wants to ask, but before he can give it voice, you smile brightly and tug him along to the store that's only two doors down.

Pushing into the brightly lit market, the two of you make your way to the cooler and stand debating over the various brands and flavors of beer to purchase. "Just grab a couple of what you usually drink," you finally declare, not really knowing the difference between all the different brews. You quickly grab a bottle of soju and head for the cashier, confident that your friend is following you. You quickly hand the cashier a credit card Saeyoung provided you in case of emergencies, thinking silently that if needing to forget temporarily that two men-brothers-are currently at odds with one another because of a nobody like you isn't an emergency, you don't know what is. At this point in the evening, you just want to drown out all the stress going on in your life and disappear into the oblivion of an alcoholic haze where everything in the world is beautiful and worry-free.

After leaving the store, hands full of plastic bags containing your adult beverages in addition to the numerous snacks you randomly picked up on your way to the front, the pair of you make your way back towards Zen's residence. From the corner of your eye, you catch sight of a small playground in the distance. Squealing excitedly, you bounce on the balls of your feet and take off at a run, leaving your friend no choice but to chase after you. "Where are you going?" he laughs to your retreating form, his long legs allowing him to quickly catch up to you.

Your feet hit the sandy dirt housing a small swing set, and you drop your purchases on the ground at its side. Plopping onto one of the plastic seats, you push off with your feet, leaning your head back to stare up at the star-studded sky, your giggles ringing out into the still night. Zen follows your lead and sets his bags down next to yours, taking a seat next to you, but keeping his feet firmly on the ground as he watches you with an amused grin.

For a short amount of time you are able to clear your mind of the delicate balance you must somehow find between the two men you love so dearly and just enjoy the feeling of the warm night air caressing your body as you sway higher. You find yourself understanding your husband's fascination with space as each upswing seems to bring you ever closer to that endless sea of black, dotted with beautiful specks of twinkling lights. What you wouldn't give to get lost in that infinite expanse of silence, beholden to no one or anything. Guilt assails you at these selfish thoughts and you allow your momentum to slow and finally stop. Your long hair hiding your face as you stare down at your feet, making small circles with the toe of your sneaker. Your hands grip the swing's chain handles and you start when a gentle hand pushes back your hair to reveal your tear-soaked face.

"What's on your mind, hm? I hate seeing you this upset," the amusement your friend watched you with mere moments ago is replaced by compassion, bringing on a fresh bout of tears.

Standing, you rummage through the various bags nearby until you find the bottle you're seeking and return to your seat. Unscrewing the top of the strong liquor, you take a healthy swig, your body shuddering as it leaves a trail of fire down your throat.

"Woah," Zen chides, taking the small bottle from your fingers and setting it down in the sand at his feet. "I know you're trying to drown your sorrows, but I really don't think this is the way to go about it," he pauses, peering at you. "You can talk to me, you know. It helps to talk your worries out."

Stretching your legs out in front of you, you once again lean your head back and let out a small puff of laughter. "Oh Zen, if only I could," you sigh.

Your comrade pulls two sweating bottles of beer from your purchases, opening one and handing it to you. As you take a long drink of the bitter brew, he opens his mouth to speak before snapping it back shut. Giving his head a small shake, he downs half his own bottle then appears to find the courage to ask what's on his mind. Before facing you, he clears his throat and looks down at the ground between his knees. "Does...God, what I mean is: is Saeyoung stepping out on you?"

"What?" The question is so incomprehensible you're unable to process it immediately. Saeyoung's faithfulness has never been something you've worried about. Of course, he enjoys porn just as much as the next guy, the two of you have even watched it together from time to time, but to think that your husband would seek the company of another woman is inconceivable. "No," you shake your head, taking a swig of your drink. "Saeyoung is the most loyal person I've ever met. He wouldn't do something like that to me."

Zen gives a short chuckle, his thumb picking at the label on his bottle as he tries to think of the least offensive way to ask what he wants to know. "I don't even know why this crossed my mind. I already know the answer, but I've still got to ask...MC, you're not seeing someone else, are you?"

Your eyes return to the ground and you push off to make the swing sway slowly. It takes a while for you to answer, your thoughts a jumbled mess. "I love Saeyoung," you whisper, the swing coming to a standstill.

"Hah. See? I already knew. He's a lucky guy." He reaches over and tucks your hair behind your ear, revealing the miserable look on your face.

A sad smile graces your lips as you meet his gaze, trying your best not to cry. "It's complicated."

"Huh?" Your friend's brows twitch down in confusion, your answer not what he was expecting. "Babe, you're not saying...Haha! I must have misheard you. There's no way you'd do that."

Draining your bottle, you reach for another and twist off the top, downing half its contents before gaining the courage to continue. "There is someone else," you confess, doing everything you can to avoid your friend's gaze.

"Does Saeyoung know?" At your nod, Zen shoots to his feet and begins to pace in front of you. "What the hell is going on?!" His outrage shames you and you make a futile attempt to wipe the silent tears that have managed to leak from your eyes away before he can see them. Before you know what's happening Zen is on his knees before you, pulling you into an embrace and burying his face in your hair. "God, please don't cry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you; I'm just concerned for you." Pulling away, he releases you to push the hair from your face before wiping away the tears that are still falling. "I swear I won't press you about this anymore. Tell me in your own time, but don't forget I'm here for whatever you need." Pulling away, you sniffle and nod. Zen once again tucks your hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering to trace the curve of your cheek. "I hate seeing you this way." A strange light appears in his eyes and he gives you a grin. "I know what will cheer you up; give me your phone."

"Why mine?" you ask, already digging through your bag to retrieve the latest version of your smartphone and handing it to the smiling man before you.

"I left mine at home," he explains, powering on the device and opening up the huge list of music housed on it. Scrolling down, he finds the song he's looking for and hands the phone back to you. "You've been bugging me for weeks to learn the choreography for that song. So let's do it."

You look at the phone and back at your friend who has positioned himself in the center of the playground. "B-But, I'm just an amateur. I'm going to look stupid doing this in front of you."

"How long did it take you to learn the routine?" Arms crossed Zen quirks an eyebrow in question.

"Months! And I still can't do it without counting my steps, especially drunk," you laugh, but get to your feet and move to your friend's side. Shaking your head at your foolishness, you hit play and drop the phone to the soft ground.

"One more thing," Zen inserts quickly. "If I can learn this routine after two tries, I get to pick the next song."

Narrowing your eyes slightly, you hold out your hand for him to shake then bend over to restart the song. You close your eyes, trying through your drunken haze to remember the steps involved, keenly aware of Zen's eyes watching you. Your body begins to move to the beat of the music and your friend lets out a loud, surprised bark of laughter when your hips begin to thrust in earnest. With your mind occupied counting your steps, there is no room to worry about the mess that is your life and you give yourself over to the rhythm of the notes flowing through you. Halfway through the routine, you open your eyes to see Zen concentrating on your steps and mimicking your movements.

You've seen all of your friend's performances and there's never been a doubt that his talent exceeds the opportunities he's been given. Casting directors love his good looks and artistic talent but many feel he's _too_ pretty to play the roles he's auditioning for. It's a constant frustration to him. Watching him now, you think that if he wasn't so in love with musical theatre he could have an extremely successful career as a dancer.

When the song ends, Zen bends over and rests his hands on his knees to catch his breath and glances up at you. "You couldn't have picked something harder?" You open your mouth to remind him that he's the one who chose the song, but he waves you away. "I don't need another run-through. Just take a seat and restart the song."

Doing as you're told, you sit back down on the plastic swing seat and restart the song, your eyes glued to the striking form of your friend as he moves to the beginning notes of the hip-hop song. You're unaware of the grin of pleasure that splits your face watching him, amazed at the way his body moves so fluidly. You don't know how he's done it, but he doesn't miss one step in the routine and when he's done you stand, clapping enthusiastically for him.

"That was amazing!" you praise him sincerely. "Why haven't you tried a dancing career? You would be at the top for sure."

"And deny the world my beautiful singing voice? I think not," your friend smiles, catching his breath. Plucking your phone from your hand, he once again scrolls through your list of songs until he comes to one he deigns passable. "Now it's my turn to choose."

The smooth melody of a piano begins to play, closely followed by the equally smooth voice of the male singer. Rolling your eyes, you allow Zen to clasp your hand to pull you into a short waltz. Almost immediately you step on his toes and giggle uncontrollably, the alcohol you've been consuming finally catching up to you.

"Just relax and let me lead," Zen laughs, then pulls you close and places your arms around his neck when you still manage to trip over his feet. "Better?" You nod and he sets his hands on your hips, careful to keep them in a respectful position. "Now I can see why it took you months to learn one routine," he leans down to tease in your ear, "you're a terrible dancer."

Laughing, lay your head on his broad chest as he restarts the song. You immediately recognize it where you didn't before and tears spring to your eyes even before the first lyric is even sung.

" _I know that_

 _It's difficult and hard to come back to me"_

Zen sways you in a slow circle as Saeyoung's voice promptly calls to you from the song's lyrics, your mood instantly somber.

" _I know that_

 _You no longer want to get hurt and you're afraid"_

The man in whose arms you rest clears his throat. "I know it's not my place to say so, but...I don't think Saeyoung realizes how special you are."

Your head rolls against the hard muscles of his chest. "I'm not that special, Zen. There are a million girls like me." _But I am a very lucky one._

" _It may be easier_

 _To die than to be forgiven by you"_

You forgave him the instant you stepped out of the coolness of the bunker into the harsh sunlight. While his words had been unkind and hurtful, they weren't anything you couldn't forgive. In all honesty, you could probably forgive Saeyoung for anything. Yes, he lets his anger or jealousy overtake his better senses at times, but deep down no one has a heart as gold as he does.

" _I sing this song, but_

 _I don't know if my true intentions will reach you_

 _I want you to be happy"_

Memories of those endless days living in Rika's apartment return to you in a rush. How many times did he insist he just wanted you to be happy? The only thing Saeyoung has ever wanted is for you to be happy. Didn't he try to sacrifice his own due to some misguided notion that he could never give you the happiness he believed you deserved?

" _I can't even lie, such a common thing_

 _And I only pray that you'll come back, I'm sorry"_

You thought you'd be able to come out tonight, let off a bit of steam with your friend and end the night magically knowing the answers to all your problems. But in an instant, it all feels wrong. The hands on your hips are too loose, their fingers too long. The whiff of tobacco intermingling with the soft, floral scent from your friend's shampoo is so much different from the fresh, clean one of your Saeyoung's. The chest your head rests on is too hard, the muscles well cut and defined from daily workouts and rehearsals.

This isn't what you want. You adore your friend but all you want is to be with your twins. You long to drag them both into a room where all three of you can air your grievances and concerns; to stay locked in that room until you finally come to the decision that you know is inevitable. The three of you belong together.

" _No, even in the next life_

 _I want to meet you and love you again_

 _Just like we did before"_

The song ends with the vocalist's heartfelt plea to his lover and you blink hard to keep your tears at bay. Clearing your throat, you pluck your phone from Zen's fingers and lock the screen, before pasting a bright smile on your face. "I'm hungry," you declare, smacking his abdomen with the back of your hand, "how about you?"

Zen pauses before answering, his eyes searching yours before giving you a slow nod. "I could eat."

"Great! Oh! Let's go get some stir fry, I am _dying_ for some," you give him a mischievous grin and scoop down to grab your purchases that you happened to end up next to. "Last one to the sidewalk pays for dinner!" Before your friend can react, you crook your ankle behind his and push against his chest with all your might. He goes down-but barely-onto the soft sand and you take off at a run in the opposite direction.

"You're going to be buying dessert, too, after that," he laughs after you. Glancing quickly over your shoulder you can see he's already on his feet and halfway to you.

Squealing, you drop your bags to gain some speed but soon feel Zen's large hands grasp your waist and lift you into the air. Throwing your head back, you let out a loud peal of laughter, your legs kicking out in front of you as he spins you around. It's in that moment that you both realize just how much you've had to drink as dizziness overtakes you and you collapse to the ground in a fit of giggles.

"Ow," you groan humorously, massaging one hip as you rest your weight on one arm. Your feet rest firmly on the now hardpacked earth, your knees pulled slightly up with Zen hovering over you, his hands resting by your hips, his forehead on your shaking shoulder. If you weren't quite so drunk you would realize how bad this position might look to a mere bystander.

This fact comes to full comprehension when the heat from Zen's body is pulled away from you at a rapid pace. You blink once or twice then realize your friend his lying prone on the ground beside you, Saeran's hand pinning him to the ground by his throat as he straddles the older man. _Oh God, no, please._

Carefully you pick yourself up and move into Saeran's view. "You move a single muscle and I will fuck your throat up so much you'll never sing another note again," he's hissing down at his captive and you freeze.

There's something different about Saeran's voice and most certainly his demeanor. You haven't seen him this wound up and violent since…"Saeran," you prod, reaching out a hand to touch his arm.

"Get back, Princess! I don't want you getting hurt!" His head turns to meet your gaze and your body goes cold; this isn't Saeran. His voice echoes from your past, a memory of broken glass and a maniacal giggle. He peers at you, a bright gleam of possessive madness in his eyes, and you shake your head in denial. _That's not possible._ When he speaks again, however, there can be no doubt. "We warned you, didn't we? Didn't we tell you to be careful around him?"

* * *

Additional Notes: SO, Unknown. I've known from around chapter three or four that I wanted him included in this story. I was planning a much darker direction with him but I got to researching Saeran's condition and just didn't feel comfortable tackling it when I hadn't set up his alter's appearance soon enough. However, it's a part of who he is. It's not something he can be "cured" of and not something that is going to go away. So I began planning a different direction for Unknown and found a lovely person on Facebook who was kind enough to share her experience with DID. I now feel that I have enough of an understanding of this disorder to include it. If I get something wrong, I apologize in advance. I hope to convey Saeran's experience accurately and respectfully.


	12. A Parallax of Three Part 2

**A Parallax of Three Part 2**

A/N: Not a novel to write in the notes this time! This chapter was a blast to write once I got past the small block I had in the beginning. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

**THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT. READER DISCRETION ADVISED**

Music:

Saeran:  
Start A Riot - BANNERS  
Wildfire - Seafret

Saeyoung:  
Hungry - Echosmith  
See Through Heart - [SEBELL]  
And I'm Here - Kim Kyung Hee

* * *

"Can't you go any faster?" Saeran inquires with irritation, leaning over to glance at the speedometer. His knee bounces in agitation and he resumes biting his nails nervously as he slumps back in his seat.

"Yeah, I can, but I won't," his brother sighs, massaging his forehead. _Here we go again._ "Just..chill. Despite what you may think, this isn't a life or death situation. She's with Zen; at least there's a good chance she's with him, which means she's safe."

The younger of the two turns his attention to the darkness outside his window and mumbles something Saeyoung can't quite make out. In the time since you left the bunker, their roles have gradually reversed. Saeyoung is now the one calm and relaxed, confident in your location though he's been unable to confirm it even with his numerous resources. Saeran, on the other hand, has grown increasingly tense as time has passed, pacing the rooms of the bunker and muttering to himself. For the past two hours, he has persisted that his older brother drive to the actor's residence to fetch you, so insistent that Saeyoung finally agreed just to quiet the relentless nagging.

"How can you even stand her being around that peacock?" Looking back at his brother, Saeran scowls. "The way he fawns all over her when you're around is bad enough; can you imagine how he acts when you aren't there?"

Refusing to acknowledge his brother's questions directly, Saeyoung lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "If you were so worried about her being alone with him, maybe you shouldn't have all but delivered her into his hands."

"If you hadn't let your dick override your common sense, we wouldn't have had to watch her leave," Saeran snaps in return. "What was I supposed to do?"

"It wasn't about that," the ex-agent protests, his face growing warm at the lack of conviction in his voice.

"Bullshit," the younger twin accuses, letting out a bitter laugh. "You were jealous that she refused to let you bang her out of deference to me."

"Says the man who is currently sitting there jealous of a man that our wife has a completely platonic relationship with; so jealous, in fact, that he's forcing me to check up on her like she's an errant child."

"Which you were more than eager to do when I returned from dropping her off," Saeran snaps. He lets out a groan of frustration and drags his hands down his face. "Look, bickering like this isn't going to accomplish anything. Go faster, the less time he has alone to take advantage of her, the better."

"Zen's not like that," Saeyoung insists and glances down when his phone buzzes once. "Check that," he requests, then rattles off his passcode. "Maybe MC turned her phone back on."

"You trust those RFA members too much," Saeran comments as he plucks the phone from the middle console and lights up the screen.

"'You must have forgotten you're also one of 'those' members now." The older twin takes his eyes off the road for a moment to glance at his brother. Saeran stares at the image on the phone's lock screen of you smiling shyly at the camera, hair tousled and cheeks reddened. Saeyoung had taken it the morning after your wedding and while he can't remember exactly what he'd said to make you blush so fiercely, but he does remember the way his heart raced and his body tingled with the knowledge that you were his forever. Three years later, it's still his favorite photo of you; at least it's the only one innocent enough for others to view. A slight grin curves his lips briefly before his brother's voice interrupts his train of thought.

"Shut up," he bites out in irritation. Saeyoung once again chances a glimpse at his younger half and he sees how tightly his grip is on the device.

"No, seriously," Saeyoung persists. "Jumin personally-"

"I wasn't talking to you," his twin says vaguely, but before his brother can question him, he continues. "Looks like it was a fraud alert; your card was just used."

Saeran reads off the address and Saeyoung throws him a grin. "That's really close to Zen's place. I knew that's where she was," he laughs and shakes his head. "MC is predictable if nothing else." He pauses, glancing at his brother from the corner of his eye. "Well, at least she is most of the time; falling in love with you is the least predictable thing she could do."

"She really has zero privacy with you, doesn't she?" Saeran frowns, holding up the phone. "Not only do you track her location, but you need to know exactly what she's spending the moment she does it?"

Saeyoung releases a frustrated growl. "We both get one of those," he answers, tilting his head to the device in his brother's hand, "and the tracking thing is...something private." His body reacts to the memory of what took place immediately before and after the app became a symbol of something more than just locating one another. Clearing his throat, he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. The familiar urge to see you immediately builds inside him and he finds himself pressing slightly harder on the gas pedal.

"Whatever," Saeran mutters, sliding the phone back into the console. "You do realize there are things MC will be keeping from you now, right? You can't expect her to share everything that happens between she and I. There are going to be things that are private for us too."

"Of course," his brother answers quietly. He's thankful for the darkness of the car's interior that hides the flush of red reaching from his neck to his ears. This is the first time it's occurred to him that there will be necessary secrets between you. The jealousy that tormented him this morning returns, to a lesser degree, and he pushes it aside. However, he can't help but feel a sense of loss at that particular facet of your relationship. Full disclosure has been important to both of you from the very beginning and the realization that you will have to purposely keep things from him now to protect someone else's privacy is a bitter pill to swallow.

Silence falls between the twins, each lost in his own thoughts. Saeyoung reaches over and activates the sound system, the heavy bass of the techno music that blasts loudly from the speakers making the car vibrate sickeningly. Wincing, he promptly reaches out to turn down the volume but Saeran stops him with a hand on his arm. His brother shakes his head when he looks at him, the music too loud to be heard over.

To Saeyoung's confusion, a smile of relief erases the frown on his twin's face when he pulls his arm back, leaving the song to play. For the remainder of the ride into town, one loud, headache-inducing song rolls into another as Saeran's body appears to relax into the soft leather seat. Occasionally, the older man observes his brother's lips moving as if talking to himself, a smug grin on his face.

As he approaches the busy streets of the city, Saeyoung finally turns the radio off, taking note of the annoyance that returns to his brother's demeanor, his ears ringing slightly in the hush that instantly surrounds them. "How much further?" Saeran questions, pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes tightly shut.

"Not far," his brother answers, slowing down as he nears a four-way stop. He makes a left onto the long street where his friend resides, not entirely certain of the store's location. Slowly, he inches the expensive car along, eyes searching for street numbers above the open doors of the businesses that line each side.

"Stop the car," Saeran suddenly demands, leaning forward in his seat, his hand already on the door's handle. Saeyoung searches for a nearby parking spot, noticing a small playground several yards away from the sidewalk where two figures race toward the walkway. He brings the car almost to a complete stop when he hears a loud squeal of laughter. The taller figure of the two embraces the smaller and spins them around before collapsing to the ground. Whatever patience the smaller twin has left snaps and he shouts at his surprised brother. "Goddamnit, Saeyoung, stop the fucking car!"

Saeran is out of the Tesla the instant the car comes to a stop, not bothering to take the time to close the door. The bespectacled twin sees you and Zen in a jumbled mess at the midway point between the playground and sidewalk. "Son of a bitch," Saeyoung mutters, swiftly putting the car in park to chase his brother. When he rounds the car, he sees Saeran reach you, shocked that his brother managed to make it to you so quickly. He picks up speed as his little brother tackles the elegant form of your friend, managing to pin the larger man to the ground with his hand around Zen's slender throat.

You move into Saeran's field of view carefully and speak to him, his anger at whatever you've said apparent even from a distance. Even as Saeyoung arrives within hearing distance, he sees you lift a shaking hand to touch his brother's cheek. You speak softly to the agitated young man, your fingers caressing him affectionately before moving through his scruffy hair a few times.

The tension slowly drains from Saeran's body, though his hand remains in its dangerous position. Breaking eye contact with you, he returns his attention to the man who is staring up at him in fear and confusion. Saeran lowers his face, stopping mere inches from the actor's, and speaks, though Saeyoung can only make out a few of the words.

"...hands off her."

"Are you ok," Saeyoung asks, kneeling beside you and running a gentle hand over your head.

"I'm fine," you answer absently, waving off his attempts to check you for injuries. You are focused on the two men before you and move a bit closer as indiscernible whispering continues to come from Saeran's mouth. Once again, you reach out and touch the furious man, your fingers lingering on the back of his hand that grips the fabric of Zen's shirt. "Saeran, I...it's...a misunderstanding," you finally utter through frozen lips and Saeyoung's head tilts marginally to the side at the apprehension he can detect in your voice. "W-We were just goofing around and lost our balance. I swear,... _Saeran_ , that's all there is to it. Zen wasn't being anything but respectful to me the entire night."

Finally, Saeran's head lifts and he meets your gaze. Almost immediately his demeanor changes. Lightning quick, he releases Zen's throat, allowing his brother to hook his arms under his own and pull him off the other man. Saeran shakes off his brother's embrace and walks a few feet away, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. You stand to go to him and Saeyoung grasps your wrist, giving his head a small shake when you look at him in confusion. "Give him a couple of minutes," he suggests, his eyes moving to his brother's tortured form.

Zen still lays on the ground though he turns over to his side, coughing hoarsely. Shakily getting to his feet, he delicately rubs his long neck. "What the hell is the big deal?" The angry volume of his voice indicating to everyone present that his throat has suffered no ill effects. His eyes stay glued to the man who so easily overpowered him, though he speaks directly to the man's twin. "Look, I know your brother has issues, but he's been with us how long now and he still hasn't learned any manners?"

Hearing Zen's words, Saeran rushes back towards the other man, his intention to strike the actor apparent to anyone observing, but Saeyoung catches him before he can get far, restraining him with his own body. Rage makes his body shake, and it takes all of Saeyoung's strength to prevent his twin from breaking loose. _Jesus, when did he get so strong?_ "Fuck you, asshole," Saeran spits out, glaring in indignation. "What gives you the right to put your hands on another man's wife?"

"Since when should it concern you?" Zen's voice climbs in volume. "I don't recall attending your wedding! She's not married to you, Screwball!"

Saeran lets out a shout of laughter. "Of course she's-"  
"Saeran!" The sharpness of Saeyoung's voice shuts the younger man up immediately, bringing his attention to his twin whose eyes have narrowed in warning. _Who has the big mouth now?_ No one but the three of you are privy to your unusual arrangement-so far-and now is not the time to get into long explanations about it. "Go wait in the car," he commands in a softer tone and his younger brother nods and turns to walk away without another glance.

As he passes you, Saeyoung watches in confusion as Saeran shrugs off your attempts to reach out to him. _What the hell is that about?_ Filing the information away for later, he turns back to his old friend and bows deeply, hands folded at his wait for the count of three then repeats the gesture again. The glare melts from Zen's face at his friend's formal apology. "Stop that," he snaps, red staining his porcelain cheeks. "He's the one who should be apologizing. Do you have any idea what he said to me?"

Straightening, Saeyoung scrambles for something to say that will pacify his friend. _Stick as close to the truth as possible._ "I'm so sorry, man. Saeran's been under a lot of stress with the whole moving thing and learning to fend for himself. Then he had this stalker situation, and I'm sure you'll understand that he's a bit overprotective when it comes to MC. He sees her as a little sister," you make a choked sound behind him and Saeyoung does his best not to smile. "He saw you guys and got the wrong idea. We'll explain it to him and I'm sure he'll want to apologize himself."

"How is any of this funny?" he glowers at you. "I get that he's protective; we all are when it comes to you, but he sounded unhinged, MC."

 _Unhinged? Saeran may have been angry, but he didn't sound crazy. At least not from the bit I heard._ "You're right, nothing about this is funny, I'm sorry," you quickly apologize, darting a glance at Saeyoung is who is staring at you intently. You begin to move closer to your friend then see Saeran push away from the car he's been watching you from and freeze. Holding your hands up to him in surrender, he relaxes back against the automobile, crossing his arms and glaring at Zen. "What can I do to make this up to you?" you inquire, turning your attention back to the man who towers over you.

Zen sighs in disgust and runs a hand over his face. "You don't need to make anything up to me," he relents. "It's not your fault, but there's something fishy going on with the three of you. I just wish you would trust me enough to tell me."

"It's not a matter of trust," Saeyoung interjects. "It's just...complicated right now."

The older man lets out a puff of laughter from his nose. "Funny, that's exactly what your wife said." His attention returns to you and he shakes his head. "Is there anything in your life right now that's _not_ complicated? Look, I'm here for you, I'm always going to be here for you, but keep him," he points in Saeran's direction angrily, "away from me. Don't let him know you're talking to me, most certainly don't let him know you're seeing me; hell, delete my texts if you have to, but keep him away."

"This really is just a misunderstanding," you plead, clutching your hands to your chest.

"I didn't misunderstand when your brother-in-law threatened to kill me," Zen snaps. "Even worse, he threatened to end my career! I'm nothing without that, and when I think of how easily he could have…" He reaches up and touches his throat gingerly, the redness on the ivory skin of his neck standing out even in the dimly lit night.

"Let me give you a ride home," Saeyoung suggests, shocked to hear the threats his brother has made, but not sure if his friend isn't embellishing the truth a bit due to overdramatics or drunkenness. Now that all the chaos is over, it doesn't take much to see that you both have had one-or several-too many drinks. Zen's speech is slightly slurred and you sway dangerously on your feet, causing your husband to reach out to steady you more than once in the short time that has passed. _He must be mistaken, Saeran would never threaten someone's life; especially with MC right there._

"A ride?" Zen laughs in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? Like I'd make it home alive! I'll stick to walking, thanks." He squints in your direction, his eyes moving over your inebriated form as you once again sway and briefly lose your balance before Saeyoung's hand catches your elbow. "MC, you alright? You're not going to be sick, are you?" At the shake of your head, he reaches out to touch your arm, then thinks better of it. "Alright, make sure you drink plenty of water when you get home," he lectures before giving you a wave and turning to head in the opposite direction.

You take a step forward, then pause, shooting a glance over to the red-headed young man leaning against the car. "Zen, wait," you call out and hurriedly gather the bags you dropped during your retreat. Approaching him, you hold them out in offering, though you are careful not to come into contact with him. Even so, he takes a step back as you near and come to a stop, your bottom lip trembling. "Take these," you suggest, sniffling and running the back of your hand across your nose. "The twins don't drink and I'll never finish all these alone." Zen nods and accepts the bags full of beverages, practically dropping them when your hand brushes against his. Quickly he hefts the numerous containers of plastic and takes another step back, avoiding your gaze. "I don't want to lose your friendship over this," you whisper painfully, giving him a weak smile. "You mean... _so_ much to me, Zen oppa."

A stain of pink paints Zen's cheeks and he finally returns your smile with a grin. "Babe, I'm not going anywhere you can't find me." His eyes dart in Saeran's direction. "Just be careful, yeah?" He looks to Saeyoung and considers him for a moment before nodding as if confirming something to himself. "Get MC home safe. And make sure she stays safe," he says to your first husband before resuming his walk home.

Saeyoung watches your back as you observe your friend's departure through the crosswalk. You turn and his heart skips a beat when your gaze locks with his. _How does she get prettier every time I see her?_ He clears his throat and licks his dry lips, his hands disappearing into his pockets as the silence stretches between you.

"You're probably wondering what we're doing here…" he begins, then quickly catches you as you run into his arms, wrapping your own tightly around his waist.

"It doesn't matter," you say when his words falter. His embrace around your shoulders intensifies and he buries his nose in your hair, inhaling the unique smell of you. Not once in the time you've been together has he ever seen you wear perfume, but the subtle smell of jasmine always follows where you go. "I'm so happy you're here," you confess softly, pulling back to look into his eyes again. "You both came; does that mean…?"

Saeyoung rests his hand on the side of your neck, his thumb whispering over the line of your jaw. "It's just as I said this morning," he answers, "I haven't changed my mind. This is how we belong...as a family."

His heart stutters once again at the smile that splits your face and he leans down to capture your mouth, his slightly parted lips moving over yours leisurely. Your hands move up his back to clutch his shoulder blades, your body leaning into his as his hand moves from your neck to the back of your head, holding you in place as his tongue slowly slides into your mouth to rub tenderly against yours. Almost immediately his body begins to respond to your enthusiasm and he reluctantly breaks the kiss, resting his head against yours as he tries unsuccessfully to calm the surge of need that burns through him.

"Take me home," you whisper, your hot breath tickling his face.

Saeyoung runs his hands down your arms and clasps yours, placing a quick kiss on each one before the two of you head in the direction of his waiting brother. His twin's face is a mask of indifference that cracks with each step closer you take until every emotion he feels is painted across his features. His stare drinks in your appearance as a man dying of thirst might eye a glass of water, his eyes finally meeting yours across the empty space as the two of you approach his motionless form. Some of the turmoil drains away from his expression and his lips curve into a hesitant smile.

Looking down, Saeyoung sees you return his brother's smile and his fingers tighten their grip on your small hand. It's the same smile full of love and devotion that you've aimed at him hundreds of times, and to see you now gracing another man with that same symbol of affection causes a mixture of conflicting emotions to overcome him. The desire to make this three-sided relationship work wins out over the jealousy that burns in his stomach and he pulls you to a stop just outside the range of Saeran's hearing as an idea begins to form.

"Is everything alright?" You gaze up at him in confusion.

"Yeah," he answers, letting out a long breath. "Listen, how do you feel about staying at Saeran's tonight?"

You blink up at him, your brows furrowing. "You don't want me home?"

"No, I do," he reassures you quickly, anxious that you not misunderstand his intentions. He glances at his brother who is watching the pair of you, then back at you. "I think he...both of you...deserve some time alone where you don't have to worry about me barging in. Besides," he continues, once more looking in his brother's direction, "I think he needs you more than I do right now."

You turn your attention to the twin whose position has not changed, arms crossed, face back to being impassive as he observes the conversation he cannot hear. Your hesitation concerns Saeyoung and he grasps your chin gently with thumb and forefinger, bringing your bright gaze back to his. Just as he's about to ask you what's wrong, you press your face into his chest, your free arm snaking around his waist to squeeze firmly. He feels you inhale deeply then give a quick nod against him. For a moment, you stay pressed against him until you finally pull away and look up at him. "Thank you," you breathe, swiping at the dampness on your face.

Giving you a smile, the two of you close the small distance remaining to the car. "Calmed down yet?" Saeyoung questions his brother at your approach and his twin shrugs.

"Are we keeping the fact that MC and I are together a secret? Because I don't want to hide our relationship like it's some dirty little secret. I want everyone to know she's mine," Saeran answers evenly.

"Only until we figure this thing out," Saeyoung promises. "So far all we've managed to accomplish is arguing among ourselves."

"That's because you don't know how to control your emotions," his twin counters.

"I admit that most of this is my fault," he concedes, his face heating. "But I'm not going around attacking innocent people."

Saeran snorts in derision. "He's far from innocent. Did you even see the way he was hovering over her? If I hadn't done something, in a couple more seconds he would have been kissing her whether she wanted him to or not."

"He wouldn't," you break in, taking a step forward. Saeran's gaze turns to you and he snaps his mouth shut, his lips thinning into an angry line. "If Zen wanted to do something like that, he's had ample opportunities to do so before now. He has always been a gentleman with me...Saeran."

Something passes between the two of you though Saeyoung cannot put a name to the current that is running between you. There is an air of apprehension and wariness surrounding you he doesn't understand, but he pushes his misgivings aside and smiles brightly. "MC will be staying at your place tonight, little brother." The panic that flashes in his brother's green eyes does nothing but deepen his confusion. He looks to you, but all your attention is on the shorter of the two, your teeth worrying your bottom lip. "Is that...a problem?" he asks slowly, his eyes darting back and forth between you.

"Saeran, if you don't want me to-" you begin but are quickly cut off.

"It's fine," Saeran interjects, pushing away from the car. "Though I may not be very good company ; I have a splitting headache." He winces as if to prove his pain.

"She's the best nurse you can have," Saeyoung declares, clapping his brother on the back before rushing to the other side of the car to open your door.

When the three of you are back in the car and outside the city, his mind is occupied with thoughts of you and his brother, though not the usual jealous thoughts of your intimacy. For the first time, he considers how the logistics of your new relationship will work. So far, he's been preoccupied with the feeling of knowing his brother will be discovering every facet of you and what that will entail. Now he wonders how your living arrangements will change. He can't expect you to be at the bunker seven days a week, realizing that there will be times that you are away days at a time to be with his twin. _That's the way it should be. I can't monopolize her time if this is going to work._

He could always try to convince his brother to move back into the bunker with you, but then how would your sleeping arrangements differ? Is he really ready to hear you moaning for a man who's not him? He has no disillusionment that your relationship will be a chaste one; especially after witnessing the chemistry between you when you touch. So can he live comfortably with his brother knowing that night you would be under him? If this morning is any indication, the answer is yes and he's not sure how he feels about that yet. What he does know is that he can completely sympathize with his brother's reaction tonight. While he can't see himself going to such extremes, if any of the things that had happened between you and Saeran had happened with anyone besides his twin, he would never have been as passive as he has been. If any other man dared lay hands on you, Saeyoung can't say that he wouldn't go a little crazy himself and use some of the physical training he learned as an agent so long ago.

Forcing his mind away from such unpleasant thoughts, he once again recalls your honeymoon and the unbreakable bond that had grown even stronger in those two short weeks. Fourteen days had flown by and when you returned home, that craving to have you completely to himself for a bit longer took weeks to fade away. Now you and his brother are newlyweds, for all intents and purposes, and Saeyoung can only imagine how cheated he would have felt only having a single night alone with you.

 _Can I give her up for two weeks?_ No, he can't; even the thought of not seeing you for so long makes his chest ache and his stomach turn over. The longest he's ever been away from your side is a week and only because business required it. If he concedes to letting his brother have you to himself for a week, with little to no interruption, will it give you the opportunity to forge that bond that Saeyoung knows is so important between a husband and wife? He thinks so; he _prays_ so because it's the best he can do. Seven days is rough, but manageable, considering the small distance that will be between you.

Pulling up to the curb in front of the small apartment building, he releases a long breath, psyching himself up for what he is about to do. As soon as you are all out on the sidewalk, Saeran heads for the front gate to allow you privacy to say goodbye.

"Saeran, hold up a minute," he calls to his brother's retreating form, motioning him to return to the car when the younger man turns to give him his attention. At Saeran's approach, Saeyoung grabs your hand and holds it firmly, gaining strength from your presence. "I've been thinking on the way over," he begins, fighting the urge to squirm under your dual stares. "Maybe MC should stay longer than just tonight."

"How long is longer?" Saeran queries, his eyes darting in your direction before returning to his brother's.

"A week," Saeyoung tells his twin, his amber eyes holding his gaze. "I can't be away from her longer than that. I'll text and call if you guys aren't busy but I'll stay away to give you two time to acclimate from what you were to what you are now. When the week is up, she comes home and we all sit and figure out how this is going to work. That way we all know what to expect from one another."

"A week," the smaller man repeats under his breath, his attention returning to you. Your hand has tightened around your first husband's as he speaks and he feels you tremble slightly. "Are you...do you...want to stay?"

You nod silently, eliciting a small grin from Saeran. "So, it's settled?" Saeyoung asks then smiles when you both bob your heads. "I'll bring you some clothes in the morning," he informs you, forcing himself to smile.

"No, don't bother," Saeran says, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'll take her shopping for new things. There's no sense in her lugging clothes back and forth between our places. I'll make room for her belongings."

"You're working?" the bespectacled twin asks in surprise.

"Just some freelance stuff," he answers, waving a hand in dismissal. "Don't worry, everything is legal. I don't go out so I've been able to save some money."

"Oh, you don't have to spend your savings on me," you contribute, waving your hands out in front of you in denial. "I have my credit car-"

"No," Saeran snaps, cutting you off mid-sentence. "I can provide for you just as well as he can." He jerks his head in his brother's direction.

"Of course you can," Saeyoung soothes, beginning to feel uneasy about leaving you alone with his twin. His attack on Zen was bad enough, if understandable, but this is the first time in months he's spoken to you in a tone that isn't loving and respectful.

"O-okay," you're saying, your eyes darting between the two. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

Saeran heaves a heavy sigh, rubbing his eyes as he shakes his head. "No, I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just this fucking headache…"

"Why don't you go ahead inside and take something," his brother suggests, slipping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you to him. "I'd like a few minutes alone with our wife anyway...to say goodbye."

"Yeah, sure," the smaller twin agrees, shoving his hands into his pockets. "The code for the gate is nine-one-five-seven. I'll leave the front door open for you, so just come on in when you're done."

Saeyoung watches as his brother disappears behind the apartment complex's high stone fence then turns to you and pulls you into his embrace, burying his face in your hair. The reality that he's about to leave you for an entire week hits him like a ton of bricks and his knees weaken. His chest tightens, constricting his breathing. The thought of returning home to the empty bunker that has been filled with so much love and laughter these past few years makes him tighten his arms around you.

You return his hug, your arms locking around his waist as you press your face into his chest. Over the years, Saeyoung has slowly become disillusioned with his religion, all his unanswered prayers a clear sign that there is no benevolent being watching over them all. But now, standing under the night sky, he offers up a prayer begging for the strength to allow you and his twin this week alone.

"Saeyoung?" you prod in hesitation, pulling back slightly to look at his face.

"Mhm?"

"I need to ask you something."

"I'm an open book, sweetheart," he grins, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. "Ask what you need to know."

You nod, your tongue darting out to wet your dry lips. Outwardly Saeyoung waits patiently for your inquiry though inside he is panicking. _Don't ask about me watching._ "So, this morning...before dawn," you begin and he groans inwardly. _Shit._ "You were watching us...weren't you?"

He clears his throat and opens his mouth to speak before closing it without saying anything. _How do I explain this to her when I don't even understand it myself?_ Buying a few precious seconds, he releases you and leads you over to the parked car, lifting your small frame and sitting you on the car's hood. Placing his hands on each side of you against the cool metal of the automobile, he locks eyes with you.

"Yes," he finally answers, watching you closely to ascertain your reaction to his confession. You stare back at him, several emotions crossing your face; shock, resignation, embarrassment, and most surprising of all, arousal.

"Why?" you ask meekly, a stain of pink coloring your cheeks.

 _How are you so goddamn cute?_ "Well," he says aloud, his hands moving to rest on your knees. "That's an excellent question. One I've been asking myself all day, in fact," he pauses, his thumbs absently drawing light circles against your skin. "Honestly, I don't have an answer. At first, I was only curious...then..." he shrugs giving you a helpless grin.

"Were you...turned on?" you press, bunching the hem of your skirt into your fists nervously.

 _There's that persistence I love so much._ "How would you feel if I was?" He holds his breath, managing to maintain eye contact even as his face heats uncomfortably.

"I think," you begin slowly, your eyes searching his, "that I would be okay with that." Your hands relax and move to his shoulders, finding strength in his solid form. "Actually, I think I would be more than okay with that. I-I...like it," you finish your sentence in a whisper as if afraid to make the admission. The silence stretches between you, the color in your face deepening from a light pink to deep red. "If it bothered you, I'm sorry," you apologize, speaking to fill the stillness. "I know you've been so jealous and we didn't realize you were awake. It couldn't have been easy to-"

Saeyoung's lips capture yours, swallowing your words as his tongue invades your mouth to seek yours. His kisses are as rough as his lovemaking, the ability to control himself when touching you nonexistent. One arm encircles your waist, his large hand pressing against your lower back as the other slides up the bare skin of your leg, pausing when it reaches the edge of your skirt.

The faint taste of beer lingers in your mouth and while he has never cared for the taste of the bitter brew, in this moment he can't get enough. A small moan of need escapes his throat at your enthusiastic response to his ardent attention, but he forces himself to break the kiss as the words he threw at you this morning pervade the fog of lust that clouds his mind.

"Wait," he pants, his chest heaving with lack of oxygen. "I need to say something." He pulls back enough to look down at you, hoping with everything he is that he's able to convey his remorse. "The things I said to you this morning…" he struggles to find the right words, his eyes moving over the face he adores so much. One hand travels the length of your back in a steady up and down trail as the other nervously fidgets with the hem of your skirt. "What I said is unforgivable and in no way indicative of my feelings for you. I-"

"Stop," you interrupt, grasping the open ends of his jacket and pulling him closer. "We were both emotional this morning and neither of us did the greatest job communicating. I only left to give you time to cool down, I never meant to stay away longer than tonight."

Your words wash over him, easing the guilt and tension of his actions. Love for all that you are causes his stomach to flutter pleasantly. "I don't deserve you," he murmurs, resting his head against yours, soaking in the heat from your nearness.

"Yes, you do," you answer, your breath caressing his face. Your arms move up to wrap around his neck and you move closer to him. You run your fingers through the overgrown locks at his nape and smile when he shivers in delight. "You're a good man, Saeyoung. I wish you would realize that." You pull back to meet his eyes, refusing to let him break your stare. "I know that your jealousy isn't voluntary, but all I can do to reassure you is to keep telling you that I love you, and I would never, _ever_ choose someone else over you."

"Even Saeran?" he asks, holding his breath as he waits for an answer. It's not a fair question to ask and he wishes to take it back almost immediately, but he can't deny the curiosity that prompted it. It's something he wouldn't even dream of asking you to do, however, he needs to be reassured the strength of your feelings for him is still as solid as it ever was.

"As much as I love him, no...I couldn't choose him over you, but I know you would never ask me to."

Saeyoung grins at your ability to read his mind and dips his head to capture your lips, a thrill running through him when you meet him halfway. His hand once again slides up your back and slips into your hair, holding the back of your head as he slants his mouth over yours. Grasping your thighs, he pulls you close enough for you to wrap your legs around his waist, your skirt riding dangerously high. The fact that you're parked in plain view of anyone who happens to look out their window past the first floor, not to mention residents leaving and arriving at the complex, gives him slight pause. Recalling that his brother is waiting for you upstairs in the very building behind him, Saeyoung draws back until you utter a whimper of protest, your fingers sliding into his hair to pull his head back to yours.

Nimble digits skim up the bare expanse of your thighs, slipping under the hem of your skirt to explore the warm flesh concealed. _Slow down._ Your fingers slide under his shirt and splay across his lower back before dipping into the waistband of his jeans to clutch his ass. Blood rushes to his groin when you pull him even closer still, small moans escaping your throat as your breathing increases with your excitement.

"Every time I touch you, it feels like the first time. No matter what I do, I can't get enough," he murmurs, placing hot kisses along the length of your jaw, working his way steadily to your ear. "I thought I knew what attraction was before I met you, but nothing has ever turned me on the way you do."

"I feel it too," you breathe, grabbing one of his hands and placing it between your legs. His fingers encounter the damp material that covers your sex and he utters a half moan, half growl, his cock hardening at an exponential rate. The feel of your arousal soaking through the thin cloth, and the way your thighs inch further apart to allow better access almost rob him of all reason. It takes everything he has not to rip off the cotton barrier and take you right there, prying eyes be damned. Thankfully his good sense prevails and he runs his fingers down your inner thigh to your knee which he squeezes once before pulling away.

"Don't stop," you whine, catching his bottom lip between your teeth before pulling it into your mouth.

For a moment, Saeyoung lets himself get lost in the kiss, ignoring your surroundings to savor the feel of you beneath his hands and mouth. He's beginning to regret suggesting that your quasi-honeymoon begin tonight, wanting nothing more at the moment than to take you home where he can make love to you at his leisure. Your uncharacteristic assertiveness excites him to the point of madness. It's not unusual for you to make simple requests, but for the most part, you're happy to let him take the lead, eagerly following whichever direction he takes you. Tonight, however, you aren't shy about putting his hands exactly where you want them, directing him without words how you want to be pleasured.

"Come with me," he commands, the need to touch you freely becoming too strong to ignore. _Sorry, little brother, you're gonna have to wait a little while longer._ Discreetly, he adjusts his erection into a more comfortable position, then helps you down from the car. Entwining his fingers with yours, he pulls you in the direction of the complex entrance. His hand trembles in anticipation as he keys in the gate's code, scanning his memory for all the information he's gathered about the property. Seeing the layout of grounds behind his eyes, he leads you around the multi-story building, past the swimming pool and groundskeeper's shed to one of the building's only blind spots.

"We should be good here," he says, trying to keep his voice low. "There are no security cameras and little to no foot traffic. Plus, the hedges will help keep us concealed." He grins and captures your mouth once more for a quick kiss before turning you around. Grabbing your hips he pulls you against him and places his mouth next to your ear. "Do you feel what you do to me?" he asks in a hoarse whisper, his body pressing against you suggestively. "I'm rock hard for you and we've done little more than kiss." His tongue darts out to trace the shell of your ear, the tremor it invokes through your body making him grin against you. "When we're apart this week, promise me you won't forget how good we are together; how much I need you."

"Idiot," you murmur affectionately, leaning back against him and turning your head to meet his intense gaze, a hand lifting to rest against his cheek. "You know I could never forget a single thing about you."

"Promise," he insists, nipping at the plump mound of your thumb playfully.

"I promise," you finally relent and are graced with one of your husband's sexiest grins before he rewards you with an impassioned kiss.

When you part, you're both breathless, clinging to one another in desperation. His open mouth brushes against yours gently before he nudges the tip of your nose with his. "Good girl," he breathes, placing a tender kiss on your forehead before the grin returns to his face. "Now bend over," he whispers, a hand pressing against your back in encouragement.

Saeyoung bites down hard on his bottom lip as you lean over and brace yourself on the rough exterior of the building. Your hips squirm in enticement against him as you settle into position, giving him an impish grin of your own when he lets out a low groan. His hands run up the backside of your thighs, pushing your skirt up to reveal your ass to the cool night air. By a stroke of luck, the chosen haven for your tryst is dimly lit with the light bleeding from a nearby parking lot, illuminating the sight of your panty clad rear.

Though he's aware that your time alone together is short, he takes his time touching you, trying to commit to memory every detail to be recalled later when he's alone. The recording being created in his head will keep him company until you return to him. _How did I ever live before her?_ The answer is a simple one; he didn't. Before you, he merely survived each day, immersing himself in his work to forget the fact that happiness was something he could never hope to achieve. His life was gray and bleak when you appeared to turn everything he thought he knew on its head. With you, the world is full of light and color; true laughter and the purest love.

In adoration, his hands glide over you, his fingers squeezing the supple flesh of your behind. His favorite pastime is exploring your body, discovering new ways to elicit the soft moans currently coming from your delicate throat. He could spend hours pleasuring you, testing how many times he can bring you to orgasm; how long before you're a quivering mess, body sore from his amorous attention.

When you push back against him, your pelvis grinding against the bulge in his jeans, his breath hitches. Instinctively he presses into you, hands gripping your hips to hold you to him. His eyes close in bliss at the delicious pressure and he fights the urge to find the release he knows you would so readily provide. Instead, he kneels behind you and trails his fingers along your slit, pressing the material to absorb even more of your arousal until the small scrap of cotton is completely saturated.

 _Fuck, yes._ "I need a pic of this," he states, his voice thick with lust, his damp fingers fumbling to pull out his phone.

"What, now?" you ask, the volume of your voice rising in incredulity as you twist your head around to gape at him. "Won't the flash draw attention to us?"

"I'll be quick," he answers, swiftly punching in his passcode and tapping on the camera icon.

You shift uncomfortably, beginning to straighten. "Saeyoung, I don't know…"

He places a restraining hand on your tailbone, halting your movements as a slight pout appears on his full lips. "Please," he pleads sweetly, "I'll only take one."

It won't be the first indecent photograph he's taken of you. At home sits an external hard drive dedicated to the hundreds of pornographic pictures he's snapped throughout your relationship; encrypted and password protected to ensure he is the only person who can access them. He rarely, if ever, watches porn anymore; you are the only visual aid he needs.

Finally, you give him a small smile and nod before resuming your position. "Good girl," he repeats and lovingly presses his lips against the curve of your ass. "Spread your legs a bit," he directs, raising the phone to frame the stimulating image before him.

Once he snaps the photo, he shoves the phone in his back pocket without giving it more than a quick glance. Unable to wait any longer, he reaches under the elastic band of your panties and slowly pulls them down, revealing your swollen sex to his greedy stare. You lift one foot, then the other to allow complete removal of the small article of clothing which he promptly shoves into his front pocket.

"God, you're beautiful," he murmurs, reaching out to spread you open to his view. "Touch yourself," he demands, swallowing hard when you comply straight away. Watching your middle finger slide along your slick folds, his hand goes to the front of his jeans to rub his throbbing erection through his clothing. Your ring finger joins the other and both slide into your vagina, the abundance of lubrication causing a lewd, wet sound to reach his ears. You grind against your hand, the soft moan your movements elicit cause his cock to twitch violently within its confines and he curses under his breath.

Saeyoung leans over and places his mouth on your buttock that is not covered with his hand. A gasp, then a louder, lower moan escapes you when he nips at you before pulling the stinging wound into his mouth and sucking hard. His mouth works the small bit of flesh as the seconds tick by until he finally releases you with a soft 'pop' and leans back to observe his handiwork. A bright red mark marrs the smooth surface and without thinking he once again retrieves his phone, quickly pointing it at the erotic scene of you pleasuring yourself.

The bright flash draws your attention and your hand jerks away from your cunt in embarrassment. "You said one!" you exclaim in a loud whisper, straightening to try and assess the bruise that is quickly forming on your skin. "Oh god, how am I going to explain that?"

"Sorry," he apologizes weaky. "For the mark and the picture," he continues contritely. "I can't do anything about this," he runs a finger gently over the proof of ownership, feeling slightly guilty now, "but I'll delete the pic if you want me to."

"No," you sigh, "it's fine. Just...warn me next time."

Saeyoung tosses his phone to the side, his hand traveling up your inner thigh. "Do you forgive me?" he asks quietly, his fingers reaching the slickness between your legs.

"Y-Yes," you stammer, eyes fluttering closed when one finger finds your clit and strokes in small, tight circles. " _God,_ yes," you breathe, reaching back out to brace yourself against the wall to allow him greater access.

"Tell me what you want, baby" he urges, eager to have you take the lead. He's more than happy to play the submissive role in this scenario, the compulsion to please you exactly as you command making his heart pound and, unbelievably, his cock to harden even more.

"Your...m-mouth," you gasp. "I want your mouth on me."

With no hesitation, he removes his glasses and sets them next to his phone, scooting closer until his thighs rest between your outstretched feet, his mouth the perfect height to taste you. _Make it something she'll remember._ The old fear of being forgotten by you rears its ugly head despite his best effort to shove it down. Rationally he knows his place in your heart is as permanent as you are in his, but the nagging voice in the back of his head taunts him with irrational thoughts of you being so caught up in his brother, you forget he is waiting for you at home.

He sinks back onto his heels and with great tenderness, places small kisses on your labia, wrapping his lips around the sensitive flesh and tugging gently. He repeats the action several times, alternating between each side, forcing himself to take things slow. Your breath comes in shuddering gasps, your legs trembling with the pleasure he's plying you with. His tongue flutters over your delicate folds, your high pitched moans traveling from his ears straight to his cock. The smell and taste of you consume him and when you reach back to spread yourself open to his seeking tongue, he growls, unleashing the restraint he's kept a tight hold on.

Saeyoung drags his tongue along the length of your pussy, lapping at the juices seeping from you, determined not to miss a drop. His face is slick with your arousal, its presence assuring him of your enjoyment with his technique. He teases your entrance with featherlight licks, his fingers massaging your clit. Your hips begin to move against him frantically, one hand returning to the wall to steady yourself, your head falling forward to rest against your outstretched arm.

He pulls back briefly to catch his breath, the fingers from his free hand replacing his tongue for the moment. Two fingers slide easily inside you, drawing a whimper from you when he begins to stroke your engorged g-spot. He feels your body tense, the walls surrounding his fingers beginning to pulse.

" _Fuck,"_ you whine, you moans growing louder as your orgasm builds. "God...ah...Saeyoung...you're going to make me…" your words devolve into a low groan when his fingers leave you to be replaced with his tongue. He thrusts the wet muscle into you and you straighten slightly to grip his hair, your fingers tangling in his thick locks and holding him in place as you grind against his mouth.

He moans when you come against him, his swollen prick pulsates violently in response. _God, she tastes like heaven._ He continues to lap at you even after you release him, trying to calculate how long you've been in the small sanctuary, but he's lost all sense of time. However, he is conscious that it's been too long; Saeran will begin to worry if you don't make an appearance soon. Spurred on by images of his twin discovering you in this compromising position, Saeyoung tastes you one last time before regretfully pulling away.

You turn and collapse to your knees before him, his hand rising to rest below your ear. Leaning forward, you clutch his shoulders for stability and run your tongue up his chin before pressing your open mouth to his.

Rising to his knees, Saeyoung grasps your hips to pull you closer, sucking in a hiss of air when your hand slides down his body and slips into the waistband of his pants. Your fingers wrap around his erection and his eyes close at the intense sensation as you begin to stroke him slowly.

"As much as I love this," he breathes, his chest heaving, "you have to go. Saeran may seem like he has the patience of a saint, but even he has his limits."

"I know," you answer, your other hand moving to his nape and squeezing. "I want you to do something for me; something _else_ for me, that is," you grin.

"Anything," Saeyoung promises without hesitation, his hips pressing against your hand that is still moving under his clothing.

You place your mouth next to his ear and whisper, a tremor traveling through his body at the hot breath teasing him. "When you get home, I want you to look at those pictures you took of me, and touch yourself just like this." Your fingers tighten around his length, your hand beginning to move as fast as it can in the compressed space.

"Jesus," he mutters softly, his eyes closing in ecstasy. The combination of your words and the movement of your hand driving him insane.

"...and when you're done," you continue, your tongue darting out to lick his ear, "I want you to send me a picture of the mess you've made for me."

"Holy shit, I love you," he rasps before his hand slides into your hair, wrapping the soft tresses around his fist to tug gently as his mouth covers yours. He recalls how hard he tried to throw away the heart you gave him so easily and the way you refused to let him. The love that is overflowing from his chest is in the kiss he gives you. His tongue seeks and swirls with yours, his fervor held in check in favor of the devotion he has for you.

His grasp is gentle when he clasps your wrist and pulls your hand from him. The absence of your touch is an immediate ache, one he will yearn for over the next seven days. He feels as if he'd discovered a new side to you tonight and is loathe to wait for the opportunity to explore it. "Just what kind of movies were you guys watching tonight?" he quips when your mouths part, foreheads pressed together as you attempt to regain your breath.

You laugh and touch his face with your fingertips. Saeyoung closes his eyes, trying to fix every detail of this moment in his mind. Concentrating, he notes the sensation of your caress on his skin, the way your musk tickles his nose, the heat radiating from your body in the afterglow of his loving, and most of all, the overwhelming feeling of intimacy between you.

The comfortable silence between you is broken by the buzzing of his phone. Already knowing what he'll see, Saeyoung grabs his spectacles and slips them on before retrieving his phone and reading the text from his brother.

 **Saeran:**

7:21 p.m.: Everything ok?

 **Saeyoung:**

7:22 p.m.: Yup! We've just been talking. She'll be up in a minute.

"Time to go, Babe," he informs you, trying to conceal the sadness he's suddenly filled with. "Your new, less charming, definitely less amusing husband awaits."

You give him a small smile and press a kiss against his lips. He clings to you, his desperation too great to mask. "I'm going to miss you terribly," you whisper, tears thickening your voice.

"Me too," he replies, his vision blurry. He doesn't bother trying to hide the tears as he adjusts his position to sit on the cool ground and pulls you into his lap. _I can do this, I can do this, I can do this._ He continues the silent chant even as you rest your head against his shoulder, your tears dampening his jacket.

"I love you, Saeyoung."

"I…" he falters, then clears his throat to dislodge the lump that feels too great. "I love you too, hon."

Your mouths meet one last time, your tongues moving together slowly, hands exchanging sweet caresses. Finally, you part and stand in silence, dragging your feet as you leave the confines of your hiding spot. Saeyoung grips your hand firmly in his as you make your way back to the front of the building. Each step takes you back to the reality of your lives and he longs to freeze time, to be selfish and remain in that bubble you created just a little while longer.

When you reach the front door, he takes a deep breath and faces you. Grabbing your other hand, he holds them both over his heart. "Remember your promise," he reminds you quietly, his gaze locked with yours.

You nod, a tear slipping down your cheek. "Remember my picture," you respond, giving him a wan smile.

Saeyoung chuckles and pulls you into his arms, hugging you tightly before releasing you and gently nudging you toward the entrance. "Go before I change my mind and kidnap you," he grins, somehow managing to hold back the tears stinging his eyes.

He watches as you skip up the steps to the entry, then turn and give him a wave. "I'll call you tomorrow," you promise and blow him a kiss before disappearing into the building.

Tilting his head back, he takes a deep, shuddering breath and releases it slowly. _It's only a week; seven days and she'll be home. Get a grip, Saeyoung, it's not like she's dead or anything._ He bobs his head, doing his best to convince himself that your absence won't be that bad. If he keeps himself busy and refuses to think about the intimate relationship you are about to embark on, the week should fly by. _Fat chance._

Shaking his head, he turns and pushes through the gate, replaying everything that's happened in the past half hour. A grin slowly spreads across his face as the scene unfolds in his mind's eye, the vice around his chest flowing to his groin with each step he takes. By the time he makes it back to his car, he's anxious to get home and keep the promise he's made.


	13. A Parallax of Three Part 3

**A Parallax of Three: Part 3**

A/N: I like big chapters and I cannot lie. Ahem, I'M SORRY this update has taken so long. Going forward, my update schedule will be every three weeks. Hopefully, this gives me enough time to get the chapter completed and allow me time to work on a special three-chapter story that will be published in May (if you're a Saeyoung fan, you won't want to miss it).

Ok there are several warnings for this chapter. 1. The first half of this chapter contains violence and non-consensual acts. Please be aware that the events may be troubling or triggering for some. 2. The second half of this chapter contains consensual, explicit sexual acts. As with all other chapters that contain this content, please use your own discretion.

Music:

First Half of Chapter:

Migraine - Twenty One Pilots  
Don't Worry, We'll Be Watching You - Gotye  
Control - Halsey

Second Half of Chapter:

Separate - Pvris  
I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys  
The Approaching Night - Philip Wesley

**Please see additional notes at the end for a very important announcement**

* * *

Saeran paces the floor of the apartment, excitement and dread combining to keep him on edge. The prospect of having you all to himself for the next seven days fills him with nervous energy despite the pounding in his head. His body is exhausted from the rapid switch earlier, but he keeps moving, unwilling to give in to his body's need for rest. Possibilities race through his mind so fast he's unable to grasp onto a single idea for more than a moment. The one thing he can hold onto is the knowledge that he will finally be able to express how he feels about you with no constraints. His whole life he's had to hide his feelings, never able to express the anger, frustration and fear that have been his constant companions. This foreign feeling of love and affection that makes his chest ache and his body tingle is something that has been harder to keep locked away. But now, after years of adoring you from afar, he'll be able to tell, and show, you everything that's in his heart without looking over his shoulder for his brother's presence.

His eyes dart to the time displayed on the microwave, surprised to see that forty-five minutes have passed since he left you downstairs. In that time he's managed to take a quick shower and prepare a light snack of sliced apples and cheese just in case you're hungry. Anticipating your wants and needs is something that supplies him with immense joy, he only hopes that his eagerness to please you doesn't make you uncomfortable. It crosses his mind that perhaps his brother changed his mind about you staying. His heart sinks at the thought, his mind conjuring images of his twin telling you that being alone with Saeran is too dangerous after his furious display earlier. _I've probably fucked everything up._

He hadn't meant to lose control the way he did. By the time he'd dropped you off that afternoon, he had convinced himself that you seeking comfort from another man didn't bother him. He understood your reasons for leaving and why he couldn't be the one to offer you sanctuary. Comprehending your actions was one thing, but as the day wore on the jealousy he thought so easy to control gripped him and wouldn't let go. The voice in his head didn't help matters. It bombarded him with jeers questioning his manhood and when that didn't work, it assaulted him with images of you in Zen's bed, sheets tangled around your naked limbs.

Even now, the one inside is plaguing him with his certainty that Saeyoung has taken you away. That he has realized allowing his wife to have anything to do with his deranged twin is the biggest mistake he can make. Saeran crouches in the middle of the floor, elbows on his knees and fingers grasping handfuls of his still damp hair. His body begins to move in a slow rock, pitiful whimpers escaping his throat. _Please._ The word echoes in his mind, a silent plea for you to save him from himself.

As unfair as that expectation is, he believes you are the only one capable of ending this rapid stream of self doubt. In your presence he feels whole, like the last missing piece of him is finally in place. The peace he finds being with you is like nothing he's ever experienced before. With you, he is strong enough to chase away the shadows that whisper he is no good; that he is not worthy to love and be loved. In you, he's found salvation.

An insane giggle begins to sound in his head, growing steadily louder. Saeran slaps his hands over his ears, though he knows it's useless to do so. _She doesn't_ _ **love**_ _you,_ the voice taunts through the laughter. _Do you really think she could ever care about someone like you? She needs someone who can protect her, someone who can give her what she wants. You're too pathetic for anyone to love._

"Stop," Saeran utters aloud, straightening. He grabs his phone off the counter and types out a quick text to his brother. If Saeyoung said you could stay the week, then you would stay. His brother doesn't lie to him and he feels a certain amount of guilt for doubting him for even a second. When his twin answers immediately, he braces himself on the counter, relief making his limbs weak. _Thank God, she's staying._

His eyes scan the small space, making sure nothing is out of place except the neatly folded pile of clothes he's set out for you. A slight grin curves his lips at the memory of the last time you wore his clothing. It was the night you both confessed your feelings and finally, after so many fantasies, he kissed you, immediately knowing the reality of your soft lips pressed against his was a million times sweeter than anything he'd ever dreamed.

The soft click of the front door closing pulls him from his thoughts and draws his attention to you. You remain at the entrance, your back pressed against the solid surface behind you, with one hand wrapped around the doorknob. "Hi," you finally greet him, your voice soft and timid.

 _She's scared of me._ The thought pierces through his heart, the sharp pain it causes making him draw in a quick breath. _Oh god, please don't be scared of me._

"How long has he been back?" you inquire, still not moving away from the door.

Saeran doesn't pretend to misunderstand; there's no point. Unlike other times, he'd seen everything that happened through Unknown's eyes. To his shame, he'd done more than just watch events unfold; he'd allowed the violent actions against the tall thespian to happen. The enormous amount of anger and jealousy he felt towards the older man was too great to suppress. It matched and combined with the one struggling to gain control until Saeran hadn't known where he ended and the other began. No matter how great his own rage, it could never compare to Unknown's.

His eyes slide away from your probing gaze, darting around the room in search of something to land on. "As far as I know, only today," he finally answers, drawing upon everything within him to prevent himself from avoiding your question. He forces himself to lift his eyes back to yours, hoping you can see the honesty in them. "This is the first time in at least a year that I've heard a peep from him. I...I thought he was gone but he must have been hiding."

"Oh, Saeran," you sigh, pushing away from the door to take a step forward. You pause, biting your lip as you study him. "About what happened earlier…"

"I found you some clothes to change into," he says quickly, gesturing to the shorts and t-shirt on display. "I thought maybe you'd want to shower since you left in such a hurry this morning. I mean, unless you showered...after."

"No!" you exclaim, holding a hand out in denial. Your arm makes a slow descent back to your side and you give him a gentle smile. "A shower would be heaven right now. I probably reek of beer and dirt."

"It also appears to have done a number on your hair, I don't think I've ever seen it so out of place."

A hand raises to your head, your face heating when you realize the mess Saeyoung's fists made to your long tresses. "Oh...no. This is from…" Saeran studies your red face as you clear your throat, likely trying to come up with some plausible excuse. Heaving a sigh, you lock your gaze to his. "Saeyoung did this. He...we...got a little carried away during our goodbye."

 _Of course._ He knew his brother wouldn't leave you for a week without a proper goodbye that consisted more of physical affection than words. He expected it to happen. What he didn't expect is this stab of jealousy and irritation your kiss swollen lips and flushed complexion inflict him with. He can feel his other self pushing against his consciousness, trying to exert his desire to punish you. Saeran pushes back against the anger attempting to take over, his hands forming into fists at his sides.

His doctor warned him this may happen; that the manifestation of anger his mind created long ago might one day return. Even so, he believed the happiness he's found would be enough to banish that cold, cruel facet of himself. The temptation to ingest the medication that will surely quiet the voice in his head is almost too great, but he resists. If he gives in, the voice will stop, but his already exhausted body will succumb to the urge to curl up and escape into dreams. Missing even a moment of this week with you is unacceptable. Somehow, he must find a way to control this inner demon that is so insistent on destroying whatever joy he's worked so hard to achieve.

Without realizing he's moved, Saeran finds himself pressing you against the hard surface of the door, his face buried in the wavy locks he adores. Instead of the light, fruity smell of your shampoo that he's expecting, all he can smell is his brother's musk. The fiery ball of anger in his chest expands tenfold, the possibility of it bursting into an untamable inferno becoming eminent. _You're supposed to be mine tonight._

His fingers lift a section of your hair, letting it slip through his fingers like silk. "So you guys were just talking? Other than the farewell kiss, I mean."

You nod your head, your body tensing with the change you can see coming over him. _She's lying!_ The angry, high-pitched voice in his head insists. _While you were up here preparing everything for her stay like a good little puppy, she was downstairs being held against a wall so that redhead could push inside her._ "Just what kind of farewell kiss did the two of you share?"

Your brows twitch down in confusion. While the person talking to you is most definitely your husband, his attitude and suspicions are completely uncharacteristic. "What's with the third degree, Saeran?"

The manic giggle returns to reverate through his mind, clouding his own thoughts. _I told you_. _Not even an hour into your "honeymoon" and she's letting him defile her wherever he wants._ "Were you fucking Saeyoung?" he spits out bitterly, the voice in head encouraging his rage and cheering him on. It steadily grows louder, shouting violently until it gains the control it so desperately seeks. _Punish her! Show her what a real man is! Make her realize you aren't one to be fucked with!_

He places both hands on the hard surface of the front door beside your head. Leaning down, he peers menacingly into your eyes, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Do you have any idea how long I've waited for you?" He pauses to let you answer, but all you can do his shake your head no. "Five years, MC. _Five_ miserable, lonely years. First admiring you from afar, knowing there was no way you'd ever look in my direction. Then I led you to Rika's apartment because I thought maybe...just maybe I would be able to get to know you. But no, the savior made sure I stayed far away, always giving me chores or assignments that must be done _immediately_ if I didn't wish to be reprogrammed into the church. So you ended up withthat idiot redhead; that idiot I hate to call my twin brother! _"_ The laughter that emits from his throat is anything but humorous and anything but Saeran's. _Stop this! She doesn't deserve your venom. She's never done anything to hurt you. All she's ever tried to do is help us._

Saeran shakes his head, his hands trembling violently when he forces himself to gain some distance between you. The fear in your eyes is almost too much for him to take. He knows he should tell you to leave; to turn around and run the short distance home to inform his brother that something has gone terribly wrong. But he can't. Losing you, when he finally, _finally_ has you is not an option. _We can make this work._

 _Speak for yourself, pussy._

Saeran takes a step away from you, letting your hair fall completely from his fingertips. _This isn't right._ The horrified look on your face is reason enough to make him feel like a complete asshole. Never has he spoken to you in the tone of voice that seems to have invoked fear within you. Not even in the hospital had you ever gazed at him the way you currently do.

Taking a few more steps away, he picks up the tidy bundle of clothes he's lain out for you. He holds them out, making sure to stay arm's length away from you. "I'm sorry," he utters with shame, his eyes growing hot. "Whatever happens between you and my brother is none of my business. I should have never even asked the question. I'm not...entirely me, right now. I'm so sorry, MC. Please...don't go. I-I...I'll do whatever I can to make this better."

You stare at him for a moment before pushing away from the door. Slowly you make your way to him until your bodies touch. You ignore his offering and cup his face in your hands. Standing on your toes, you pull his face to yours and press your lips to his. The clothing in his hands falls to the floor as he embraces you, his arms encircling your waist to lift you tighter against him. _She's not upset with me?_ Tears seep from his closed eyes to trail to your sealed lips, the taste of salt invading your mouths. When you pull away, the color of your orbs appear a blur.

"Stay with me, Saeran," you whisper. "I'll do whatever I can to help you through this but you have to push back against him. Don't let him win. Whatever he's telling you are lies. _I love you_. I'm not going anywhere."

"What were you doing with my brother?" He hates himself for asking the question, but can't seem to stop the words from coming.

You're silent for a moment, your fingers playing with the hair at his nape. "We were saying goodbye. I'm sorry, Saeran, but that's all I can tell you." A smile spreads across your lips and you give him a quick kiss. "But now I'm all yours for the entire week. Do with me what you will."

Saeran pushes down the jealousy your words conjure and chuckles, his arms tightening around you. "So many options; where do I even begin?"

You bring his head down to yours, your lips grazing his. "This seems like a good place to start," you breathe before pulling his lower lip into your mouth and sucking.

His hand cups the back of your head as he angles his mouth over yours, his tongue seeking and twirling with yours. _Mine_. There's only room in his head for the one thought. _She's mine...finally...mine._ His heart rate increases as his other hand moves down your back, his fingers splaying just above the waistband of your skirt. Holding you close to him, he rocks his hips against you, his quickly hardening member obvious even through the layers of clothing separating you.

"Why don't you join me in the shower?" you ask when you part, your chest heaving.

 _No, she'll see the tattoo and the scars and everything will be ruined._ Instead he forces a grin and caresses your cheek. "I just got out right before you arrived."

"You can never be too clean," you pout, running a finger down the middle of his chest. "Please?"

Saeran grabs your wandering finger and kisses its tip. "Why don't I finish preparing something to eat instead? You like gimbap?"

Your stomach rumbles loudly and you both laugh. You reach up and massage his temples, a look of worry crossing your features. "How's your head?"

"Better," he lies, giving you a reassuring smile. Clasping your hands he places a kiss on one, then the other. "Go shower. There's a brand new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet."

"Aww, you bought me a toothbrush?" you tease, though he can tell by the pink flush on your cheeks that you're pleased.

He shrugs. "Well, we are married now so I figured you'd need one here eventually."

"I love you," you murmur, pulling him down once more for a sweet kiss. He watches as you scoop up the bundle of clothes from the floor and drift toward the bathroom. His stare drops to the gentle sway of your hips as you walk, admiring the way your short skirt swings around your thighs as you move. When you reach your goal, you turn and catch him studying you. Your mouth quirks and you blow him a kiss before closing the door.

Saeran moves towards the kitchen to prepare the promised food. He pops one of the apple slices he'd prepared earlier into his mouth as he gathers the ingredients needed to prepare the quick meal. He's just cracked the eggs needed into a waiting bowl when he hears your phone vibrate.

At first he ignores the buzzing, wishing to respect your privacy. But when it vibrates several more times, his curiosity gets the best of him. There's no doubt who the texts are from and Saeran can't help but wonder what his brother needs to say so soon after leaving you. He picks up your phone from the small table behind the couch and swipes his thumb over the first notification that appears to be a photo.

Saeran's hands tremble when he sees the lewd picture his brother has sent. His face heats with embarrassment and anger, each building to a boiling point in him as he peers at the captured scene, unable to look away. The image is of his brother grasping his erect penis, obviously having just masturbated. Copious amounts of semen cover his hand and lower abdomen. Just beside him on the bed are a pair of familiar lavender panties.

 **Saeyoung:**

8:05pm: All for you, as promised

8:05pm: Is a week too long to keep these panties without washing them? lol

8:06pm: I wish you were here, I'm already lost without you

8:06pm: I love you, beautiful. You are my world. Don't forget that. xxx

Unknown glares down at the text staring back at him. _I fucking knew it. We were waiting up here and the whole time she was letting him fuck her on_ _ **our time!**_ He takes up position on the arm of the sofa that faces the bathroom door. Crossing his arms and ankles, he waits patiently for you to emerge, your device gripped tightly in one hand.

"You're a naughty girl, aren't you, Princess?" he asks with a wicked grin as soon as you appear.

You are slow to close the door behind you, your eyes searching the gleaming madness of his. "Where's Saeran?" you finally ask with more curiosity than fear.

"Oh, Cherry Boy couldn't handle seeing the picture of the cock that Redhead just sent you." He holds up the smartphone and tilts it back and forth, taunting you, your husband's naked form on full display.

You close the distance between you and snatch it from his hands. Unexpectedly, Unknown too reaches out and snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. "You're quite the whore, aren't you?" he whispers, his mouth next to your ear. "Banging one man wasn't good enough for you, you needed the little brother too."

"Let me go," you bite out, struggling against his grip. Both arms are now wrapped around you, his embrace so tight you can barely move.

His mouth moves away from your ear and places small, hot kisses along your jaw. "You've already proven you're not very faithful, so why not give me a go? I bet I can make you come harder than you ever have before." His mouth covers yours, his tongue invading it with as much force as you would expect from him. Unable to push him away, you wait for his tongue to retreat before biting down hard. A sharp sting like that of a bee radiates through his bottom lip and he pushes you away in a fury.

"Bitch," he mutters, gingerly touching the now swollen wound on his lip. His finger comes away red and his mood shifts swiftly into a maniacal giggle. "You're feisty...I like that." His attack is as fast as a snake's strike. He shoves you into the wall behind you, your head bouncing on the hard surface as he pins your hands above your head. He leans over to whisper in your ear once again. "So, you like to play rough, Princess?" He releases a laugh that sounds more sinister than humorous, then continues to speak, his words tickling your ear. "I can do things to your body you've only dreamed about," his fingers tighten on your wrists, his body pressing you painfully into the wall. "I can teach you how to find the pleasure in pain." You shiver and he giggles before running his tongue up the side of your face. "You'd like that wouldn't you? I bet you would sound... _exquisite_. _God,_ I can hear you now, screaming in agony even as you beg for more."

Unknown grinds his pelvis against yours, his cock already half hard with the thoughts running through his head of what he could do to you. Visions of you tied spread eagle and blindfolded flash through his mind and he bites his lip, a groan escaping him. He's not bluffing. He's more than capable to taking you to that thin line between ecstasy and anguish. It wouldn't be the first time he's introduced a woman to the bliss that suffering could provide. Right now he'd give anything to be your teacher.

He shifts your wrists to one large hand, the now free one roaming down your body in a slow exploration. Pausing at your chest, he cups the fullness of your breast and administers a harsh squeeze. You suck in a hiss of pain and he grins as his mouth attaches to the sensitive curve where your neck and shoulder meet. He bites down hard and your back arches in an attempt to disengage yourself from his embrace.

"I see why he chose you," he murmurs against your skin, his hand continuing its journey down your body. "You really are beautiful, and I would hazard a guess that you're a great fuck." Another manic giggle emits from his chest. "How pissed do you think Cherry Boy would be if I fucked you before he got the chance? Should we find out?".

A single tear trails down your cheek as his eyes lift to lock with yours. "Let me go," you repeat, though all the venom has drained from you. You no longer resist him, his body pressed so tightly against yours there is no room to maneuver.

"Are you frightened, Princess?" he mocks.

More tears fall free with the shake of your head."You don't scare me."

"Liar," he whispers, his thumb roughly swiping the wetness from your cheek.

"If you wanted to hurt me, you would have done it a long time ago," you answer, your gaze full of pity. Your eyes search his, looking for a sign of the man you love. "Saeran? Please."

"That pitiful excuse for a man is gone," Unknown hisses in fury. "It's just you and me from now on, Princess, and underestimating me is a grave error in judgement." His mouth crashes back to yours, the blood oozing from the wound you inflicted smearing across your lips. The taste of copper spreads across his tongue as he pushes it into your mouth, his hand gripping your face to keep your jaw from snapping shut. _You're not going to bite me again._ You struggle against him, grunting with the effort to push him away when suddenly you are free. He backs away from you so fast you slide down the wall until your bottom hits the hardwood floor.

Saeran stares down at you in horror. "What?" he mutters, obviously disoriented. You flex your jaw and wince in pain, tears of relief slipping from your closed eyes. He crouches in front of you, a trembling hand hovering next to your cheek. You flinch and the fierce urge to pull you into his arms, to comfort you, increases. His hand covers his mouth instead of touching you, however, and he watches as you wipe the back of your hand across your mouth to erase the blood that paints your lips. Glancing down at his fingers, he sees the red substance that's come off of his own mouth, his heart pounding in fear. "What the fuck happened?"

His eyes drop to the bite mark on your neck and his eyes widen. "Are those fucking _teeth marks_?" His voice rises with his anger and he stands to cross the room, putting much needed distance between you. There's no guarantee that the anger at himself won't trigger that part of him to return, and he can't risk being near you if it does.

"I-I...oh _god_ …" His fingers plunge into his hair and pull, the pain in his head and scalp causing him to wince.

"Saeran, it's ok," you console, scrambling to your feet to cross the room to offer him support.

"The hell it is!" His distressed shout echoes off the walls of the small apartment, his face wet with the tears that suddenly spring from his eyes. "This is so far from ok that it's in its own stratosphere! _Why?_ Why now, when I'm finally happy?" He breaks down into silent sobs, his head falling into his hands to hide his weakness from you.

You approach him slowly and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his back. "What can I do to help?" you ask, your voice soft and soothing.

"There's nothing," Saeran answers helplessly. "For so long I allowed him control. It was easier to get through the days at Mint Eye if I didn't realize what was happening. He took on the burden of the torture each time I had to be "reprogrammed" and I was thankful to him." He falls into an uneasy silence, working hard to gather his scattered thoughts. His eyes close at the feel of your face nuzzling his back, much in the same way a cat might show affection to its owner. The thought almost makes him smile; almost, and the affirmation in it makes his scattered thoughts easier to gather. "But now...he has it in his head that he wants you and there's nothing I can do to stop him. As soon as I realized what the picture was that Saeyoung sent you, he took over and I didn't even realize I was gone."

You place a kiss on his spine, your embrace becoming firmer. "I'm sorry you saw that. I knew he'd be sending it, but I...well, I forgot."

He shakes his head. "It was my fault. I should have respected your privacy. I...all this jealousy I thought I was above is out of control. I can't seem to reign it in and it's just fueling _his_ anger." Saeran pauses. _I need to think more of her sake._ Gently pulling away from your embrace, he heads to the bathroom with you trailing close behind. "I do have some measure of control, though I was trying to avoid it."

Opening the medicine cabinet, he pulls out an almost full bottle of prescription pills. He holds them up for your perusal before giving you an explanation. "Antipsychotics; they will essentially put him to sleep, but the downside is they also knock me out. I didn't want our first night to be ruined by passing out, but I don't see another option at his point. I can't take the chance of him hurting you again tonight."

Entering the compact space, you squeeze between him and the counter and hop up onto the surface. Taking the bottle from his hand, you read the instructions then shake one pill into the palm of your hand. Lifting your gaze, your eyes lock with his and you smile in reassurance. "We have the rest of our lives together, Saeran. If this is going to help reassure you that I'm safe, then spending our first night together only sleeping is exactly what I want to do. I love you." You pull his head down to yours and run your tongue over the swollen wound you inflicted. Sliding it into his mouth, you it rub against his with all the tenderness you feel for him. When you part, you place the pill between his lips and fill the cup that rests beside the sink with water. He accepts the offered drink and downs the medication. Taking his hand, you lead him to the bedroom where you curl yourselves around one another on the queen size bed.

Saeran rests his head on your chest, the soft rhythm of your heartbeat soothing his frazzled nerves. His arms hold you tight around your small waist, marveling at how such a tiny person could be filled with so much bravery. The way you'd shied away from his touch feels like a heavy weight on his chest. He can't blame you; can't even imagine the terror you must have felt. He may not be able to remember the events that took place, but witnessing the aftermath tells him everything he needs to know. To be laying here now, stroking his hair, so soon after your ordeal is unfathomable to him.

The trust you put in him encourages him to do his very best at everything for you. _I can do anything with her by my side. Don't leave me, MC; stay with me, love me, allow me to love you._ Drowsiness finally overtakes him and he relaxes against you, his eyes closing as thoughts of his love for you continue to repeat inside his head.

* * *

The first thing he sees when he awakens is your form propped against the headboard, a novel open on your lap. He studies your face as you read, taking note of the way your thumb and forefinger idly tug at your earlobe and the cute way you bite the corner of your mouth as your eyes devour the words on the page. A sudden smile graces your lips at something you've read, and Saeran can't help answering it with one of his own. _She still hasn't noticed I'm awake._ You giggle, then slap a hand over your mouth, your head turning to see if you've disturbed your husband's slumber. Your gazes lock and he reaches out to caress your cheek, thankful you don't shy away from his touch.

"Hi," he finally says, his voice soft in the silent room.

"Hey, sleepyhead," you answer, closing your book and setting it on the nightstand. You slide down to stretch out beside him, entwining your fingers with his and giving them a squeeze.

"How long have I been out?" he asks over a yawn, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"About four hours," you inform him, smiling at his reaction when he groans. "I finished preparing the gimbap then went out and got some ice cream because, amazingly, you were out. I couldn't decide what flavor to get so I bought," you pause, squinting one eye in thought, "chocolate, strawberry, coffee, mint chocolate chip, and cookies and cream. I figured that should last you at least a couple of days."

"Better watch it or you'll spoil me," Saeran murmurs, leaning over to brush his lips against yours.

"I plan to spoil the hell out of you, so you might as well get used to it, Mr. Choi," you whisper against him, your fingers tracing his jaw. "Are you feeling better?"

He doesn't answer right away, taking the time to search within for the uncontrollable anger that's been present the entirety of the day. When he senses nothing but a peaceful contentment he smiles. "He's gone; or at least he's finally shut up."

"So the meds helped?"

Saeran hums in confirmation though his brows twitch down in a slight frown. "I hate that I've missed so much time with you, though. That was four hours we could have been…" his words falter, his face growing pink at the direction his thoughts take him.

"...making love?" you finish with a grin. You scoot closer to him and throw a leg over his. "There are so many things I want to do with you this week, but we don't have to rush anything. The end of this week isn't the end of us, after all; we have the rest of our lives to discover one another."

With no prompting, the image his brother sent you abruptly pops into his head and he clears his throat awkwardly. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure, I have nothing to hide from you." Your hand begins trailing up and down his slender hip and you place a small kiss on his chin.

"That picture...the one of Saeyoung…"

You freeze, your eyes darting up to meet his. "What about it?"

"Well...do you...I mean...is that something you do often?" He averts his gaze, the pink in his face deepening to a fiery red. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he releases, his words pouring out of him at a rapid-fire pace. Already he regrets asking; hates that his curiosity is so severe.

"I don't mind," you answer slowly. "I suppose it depends on your definition of often, but, yes, usually at least a few times a month."

"And h-he has pictures of you?"

You laugh but quickly reign in your amusement at the embarrassment on his face. "I'm sorry," you apologize, wrapping an arm around his waist. "I'm not laughing at you, I swear. To answer your question, Saeyoung has hundreds of pictures of me in various states of...undress."

Saeran brings his gaze back to yours, though the color remains painted across his face. "Do you...like him sending you pictures like that; and enjoy letting him take risque photos of you?"

You nod, your tongue darting out to lick your dry lips. When you speak, your voice is hesitant. "I would love to have pictures of you too, if that's something you'd be comfortable with. And of course, you can take ones of me too...if you want."

"Yes," his answer flies from his mouth before you've even finished your sentence and you both laugh. He runs a gentle hand over your hair, his heart racing. "You keep taking whatever I think I know about women and completely flipping it on its head. Not that I'm all that experienced in what women like."

"How much experience _do_ you have?"

"Hmm, let me think," he continues to stroke your hair as he pretends to consider your question. "I'd say about...zero."

"You're kidding," you utter in disbelief.

Saeran shakes his head. "My time with Mint Eye was mainly spent in the security room, coding and hacking….doing pretty much whatever the Sav-...Rika commanded me to do. I didn't have time to socialize with the other initiates. When I was allowed to leave the grounds, I was so used to keeping to myself that I had no interest in interacting with anyone. The one you call Unknown, on the other hand, he...well, let's just say he has plenty of experience with women."

You blink at him, the sympathy on your face almost killing him. "So you never...felt what he was experiencing when he was with a woman?"

"God, no. If he found a woman he wanted, I would book it if I was unable to distract him. I wasn't interested in his particular brand of fun."

"Yeah, I have a good idea what gets him off," you murmur, giving a small shudder.

"I'm sorry he hurt you." Saeran grazes the bruise on your neck, his face full of regret and self-blame.

Shaking your head, you grin at him. "I'm fine; I promise it looks worse than it is. It didn't hurt as much as it...unnerved me."

He accepts the white lie for what it is; an attempt to ease his guilty conscious. While the enraged fragment of his psyche is uncontrollable and unpredictable, it was still hismouth that hurt you; his hands that violated and restrained you. He can still feel your jaw clenched in his fingers; the bruising grip of his hand around your delicate wrists when he pushed back to the front.

Shame presses on him to hide from your affectionate gaze, the feeling of being unworthy of the love in your eyes a physical pain in his chest. However, he resists and runs the backs of his fingers along your cheek, his devotion to you too strong to conceal. "Be careful around him," he warns in a low voice, desperate to stress how important his words are. "However depraved you think he is, he's much, much worse," he pauses, his eyes studying your face. _He's the only thing I can't protect you from._ "We have to tell Saeyoung," he blurts out, realizing it's the only way to keep you safe.

"What? No!" You sit up, and shove your hair behind your ears, your stare conveying nothing but panic. "If we tell Saeyoung, he's going to immediately demand that I come home and it won't matter how much I try to reason with him. Do you want him chaperoning our every move? Or even worse, insisting that we can't be together? He can't know what happened tonight, Saeran, he _can't_. Promise...swear to me that you won't tell him," your voice raises in volume, your fingers twisting the hem of your borrowed shirt in distress.

"And what happens next time you're alone with Unknown?" The sadness in his voice seems to break through your alarm, relaxing the tension in your shoulders. Saeran takes one of your hands in his and holds it against his heart. "Every time I switch, I'm afraid the me that I know is going to disappear. I thought I was better; I _am_ better, but this is the first time he's ever resisted relinquishing control so vehemently."

"I just need to be more vigilant around him," you insist. "He took me by surprise; I got too close without thinking. Saeyoung taught me some self defense moves after the whole attempted kidnapping thing, but Unknown acted so quickly, I didn't have the time to employ them before he subdued me." The look of doubt he gives you evokes a sigh. "We're going shopping tomorrow right? Give me tomorrow...a full twenty-four hours...and then we'll tell him together. At the first sign that you're acting weird, I will run somewhere safe and call him; if we're here...I-I"ll lock myself in the bathroom until he gets here," you squeeze his fingers, your eyes silently pleading with him.

Against his better judgement, he finds himself nodding in agreement. _Selfish prick._ He berates himself for being weak. _This is the worst idea ever. If anything dares happen to her, Saeyoung will never forgive me. I will never forgive me. But I need to believe this will work. I need more time; just a few more days to feel this connection._ "Come here," he says tenderly and with one fluid motion, flips to his back and pulls you down to him. He holds you tightly with one arm around your shoulders, the other cradling your head to his chest. "We'll be cautious, but we won't go looking for trouble," he sighs, his thumb absently stroking your hair. "Saeyoung is going to kill me when he finds out I didn't let him know right away."

"He doesn't have to know that we waited."

"I thought you guys didn't keep things from each other."

"We don't," you respond, your voice troubled. Your arm wraps around his waist and squeezes. "I thought..." your words falter briefly before you continue. "I can't lose you."

"Hey," he cajoles and you lift your head to peer at him. "Whatever happens, I'm not going to let my brother keep me from you." You open your mouth to answer but he hurries to allay your fears. "And nothing is going to separate me from my brother. In my heart, you and I are just as much married as you and him. I'm not going to allow him to make me choose between you. My whole life people have made all my decisions for me; it's about time I live my own life. I choose a life with you _and_ my brother in it."

Your eyes hold his for a moment before dropping to his lips. Reaching up, you press against the wound on his lip. "Does it hurt?"

"No," he replies, "it-"

The tips of your fingers cover his mouth, cutting off his words. "That's all I needed to know."

Sliding up, you press your lips to his as you throw a leg around his hips and maneuver yourself astride him. The unquenchable lust for you that lives just below the surface overtakes him. His tongue meets yours with enthusiasm, his body straining to get closer to you. The kiss almost immediately becomes a frantic give and take of tongues and teeth, your hands constantly on the move as you try to touch every inch of one another.

 _Slow it down, dumbass. Burn every second of this into your memory so you can remember it later in case you're unable to keep your word. The taste of her, the softness of her skin, the way her breasts feel in your hands; memorize it all._ One hand grasps your hair, holding it back as he slows down the kiss, his tongue delving deep into your mouth to rub against yours with slow, lazy strokes. A soft whimper escapes your throat, your pelvis grinding down against his in tight circles. _There; that sound. Jesus, has there ever been anything that sounds as beautiful? Remember it; god, how could I ever forget it?_

Saeran's hands roam freely over your body, your soft whimpers and moans leading him to your most sensitive spots. _I wish I could freeze time and live in this moment forever._ The joy of pleasuring you is like nothing he's felt before. Being yours is everything and more than he thought it would be. His only purpose is to keep drawing from you the noises that make his groin ache with need.

You tear your mouth from his, your chest heaving, hands fisted in his thick curls. "I want your cock in my mouth," you gasp. Saeran's body goes still, his eyes wide as they dart swiftly between yours. Blood surges to the mentioned appendage and he swallows hard, not knowing how to respond. _Wait, what? Did...I...just imagine that?_ When he fails to react, your already flushed skin turns a deeper shade of red and you hide your face in your hands. "Oh god, I'm sorry, was that too much?" you apologize, your words running together in your haste to salvage the situation. "When I get worked up, I sometimes just blurt out whatever is on my mind. If you don't like that I can try-"

He interrupts your flow of words, pulling your hands from your face and kissing you deeply. "I like it," he whispers hoarsely.

Holding his gaze, you rise to your knees and slide your hand down his body. It presses against his erection and his teeth sink hard into his lip. When your fingers flex around the hardened flesh, his eyes flutter closed as he mutters a curse under his breath. _More...please...don't stop touching me._ He swears he can feel the love you have for him in the gentle lips that press against his jaw and it enhances the pleasure of your hand slipping into his sweats, your fingers taking firm hold of the engorged flesh to stroke him with restrained lust.

He sighs your name, his tongue eagerly meeting yours when you finally make your way back to his mouth. You kiss him deeply, the mewls escaping your throat driving him insane. A groan of disappointment rumbles from his chest when you remove your hand you grin down at him. "Don't worry, I'm just getting started," you whisper against his mouth, nipping at his bottom lip as you grind your pelvis into his.

Saeran grasps your hips, his own thrusting up to increase the friction between you. He can't count how many times he's fantasized of having you astride him in this manner. However, the actuality of you moving against him, the ability to smell and taste you, to hear your vocal responses to his touch is a thousand times superior to anything he's imagined.

"What's wrong?" he asks when you pull back to stare down at him, your eyes moving over his features. _Shit, what did I do? Maybe she just wants me to be still and let her do everything. But how am I supposed to not move when she feels so good? I want to touch her everywhere at once, but maybe I'm doing it wrong._ His thoughts continue to race, his panic rising until your lips on his calm his mind and quiet the self-doubts.

"Nothing's wrong," you reassure him, your voice tender. The gentleness of your fingers grazing his face erases his apprehension. "I just," you pause to consider your words then start over. "All this time, you've been right here and I haven't allowed myself to really see you. I wasted so much time letting myself believe that I wasn't in love with you and that I'm not...massively...attracted to you."

"This would be extremely awkward if you weren't," Saeran teases with a grin, your words causing a pleasant warmth to spread through him. You laugh, your forehead falling to his shoulder. The musical resonance of your giggles elicits a broad smile and he hugs you to him, placing a kiss on your temple. "Look," he begins when your laughter subsides, "the past is what it is. I can't blame you for taking so long to realize how amazing I am, though I'm relieved I can stop trying so hard to ignore you; that shit was exhausting." The room is again filled with the sweet sound of your laughter and he chuckles along with you. _I'm making her laugh! This is almost as good as making her moan...almost._

"Your brother isn't the only one with a sense of humor," you comment, your smile blinding.

He lifts one shoulder in a small shrug. "I have my moments," he replies, his hand stroking your hair. "Everything is easier with you. When I'm with you, it's like I realize the full potential of who I can be; who I want to be. I come close with Saeyoung, but it's different. With him, it's like looking into a mirror; you are more like gazing into my soul."

"My god, I was so wrong," you whisper misty-eyed before pressing your mouth to his. He cups the back of your head to hold you close as your tongues once again move together, the salty taste of your tears concerning him.

"Wrong about what?" he questions immediately as you part, his face a mask of anxiety. Something has just happened, but he doesn't understand what. However he's anxious to fix whatever is troubling you.

"It doesn't matter," you assure him, "Saeyoung asked me a question earlier and I was just thinking out loud." Before he can form words to question you again, you grace him with a seductive grin. "There are much better things I can be doing with my mouth."

He allows you to distract him although he's sure there is something important he is missing. The sight of your naked breasts when you remove your shirt drives all other concerns from his mind. His eyes follow the motion of his hands as they whisper up your sides, his mouth quirking at the tremor that runs through your body.

 _My brother may be an idiot most of the time, but he's not wrong about her breasts._ With one hand on your nape, he pulls you down to press his mouth against the bruise on your neck, wishing his kiss could erase the evidence of what occured. Even if his wish were to be granted, the memories would remain, forever to be remembered as the time he injured you with this own body. It doesn't matter that he has no conscious recollection of the events that took place before he regained himself. You're still in pain because of him and that hurts more than even the betrayals he's suffered.

His mouth moves to your ear, his fingers slipping into your hair to cradle the back of your head. "I love you," he breathes, though the words are inadequate to describe how he feels. When you slip out of his arms and down his body, he feels as if his heart will burst from the adoration it contains.

Your gaze holds his, your fingers grasping the waistband of his bottoms and sliding them down along with his underwear. The material disappears somewhere on the floor near the vicinity of the bed. You settle yourself between his legs and rest on your heels, your hands trailing up and down his thighs.

"You look scared," you comment with a timid smile. "This is supposed to be fun."

"Terrified, actually," he lets out a breath of laughter.

"We can stop if you're uncomfortable." Your smile fades, a look of concern replacing it.

"No!" A streak of red paints his cheeks at your giggle with his emphatic denial. "I...well, I don't know what to do."

You study him for a moment, your tongue darting out to run along your bottom lip. Finally, your hands begin to move again, inching closer to the part that aches the most for you with each slow caress. "All you have to do is enjoy it," you explain gently. "Tonight is about me making you feel good."

Saeran nods in response, unable to speak through the pleasure of your fingers reaching their final destination. They trail up the length of him and his member flexes at your touch, seeking further stimulation. His eyes close in bliss as you at last take him into your mouth. He fights against the instinct to thrust up to meet you, keeping his body motionless. _Oh my god...nothing can feel as good as this._ His thought is barely finished before he is proven wrong as your tongue swirls around the head of his shaft on an upstroke.

"Saeran, remember to breathe," you instruct, the humor in your tone apparent.

Noticing the burning of his lungs, he swiftly releases the breath he didn't realize he's been holding. He takes a few shaky inhalations, every nerve in his body on fire for you. "What you're doing feels...incredible," he manages to utter. He then bites his lip as you drag your tongue along the underside of his of his cock from bottom to top. "Oh god...that too."

"Don't be afraid to move," you direct, your hand picking up the slack when you lift your head to speak. "You aren't going to hurt me. Just let go and do whatever comes naturally."

When your mouth surrounds him once again, he takes your advice and forces himself to let go of his inhibitions. He tries to clear his mind of everything except the euphoric sensations radiating from his groin; to allow instinct to take over. Experimentally, his hips move up as you come down. _Oh...that's...good._ The next thrust is less timid, though he still exercises some restraint. The fear that he will hurt you isn't such an easy thing to disregard; something he is grateful for when he hears you gag slightly.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes immediately, attempting to pull away.

Your hands clamp on to his hips tightly, preventing him from retreating. _She wants to keep going? But-_ As he peers down at you to make sure you're alright, your cheeks hollow and he abruptly forgets what he was thinking. His body begins to move with you of its own accord, the strong suction robbing him of any vestiges of thought.

His fingers twist in the soft cotton sheets beneath him as to prevent himself from giving in to the sudden urge to bury them in your hair. It's all too much, yet not enough. The need to throw himself over the precipice of release wars with the desire for this to last as long as it can. His head lifts from the pillow so he has a better view to watch you. At his movement, your eyes flick up and lock with his. The corner of your mouth curves up in a tiny grin around him, your gaze full of lasciviousness.

The amount of enjoyment you appear to possess at being the cause of his unraveling surprises him. _She actually likes this? How is she getting anything out of this deal?_ His mind briefly reverses your positions, imagining how it would feel to use his mouth on you. The act instantly goes onto his list of things he intends to perform in the coming days. _Yeah, that would definitely turn me on._ With his sudden realization comes the knowledge that if you were to hold back with him, the way he has been doing, he would be disappointed. _She said you won't hurt her. Stop second guessing everything and just trust her._

Trust; it's the one thing that's the most difficult for him to do. Over the years, you have earned the right to request he put his faith in you. Hasn't your whole relationship, from the beginning, been about you doing what you could to respect his boundaries while still trying to formulate some sort of bond with him? It's a question he doesn't even need to consider; your heart has always been wide open to him. So wide that somehow you fell in love with him without either of you noticing. The sudden awareness of that breaks down whatever walls that remain between you.

One hand releases its death grip on the fabric he's been clinging to and hovers near your head. "Can I touch you?" he requests though he knows the answer will be what it's forever been, even if neither of you recognized it. Not until one random night that he did so without permission, without thought, and put into motion the sequence of events that would lead you to your fate together.

You raise your head and lean into the graze of his fingers against your cheek. "Always," you answer with a shake of your head. "Never stop."

His thumb brushes over your slick, swollen lips. The molten desire in your eyes drives a bolt of lust stronger than he's ever felt through him. _You own me, body and soul. There's nothing I won't do for you._ Drawing from whatever well of temerity that allowed him to propel you onto this path that night in the bunker's kitchen, his hand slips into your hair. With gentle pressure he guides your head back down to his throbbing member.

He watches with rapt attention as your mouth engulfs him, the breath in his lungs leaving him in a low groan. "Goddamn, you're exquisite," he sighs with heartfelt ardor.

A cloud passes over your expression, your rhythm faltering for a fleeting second. _Did I say something wrong?_ Before he can comprehend your expression, it relaxes and you regain your tempo. His question gets lost in the unfinished phrases of approval and admiration that overlap one another in his head. The two of you move with fluid precision, your efforts to pleasure him redoubling as you moan around him. The strength of his feelings for you combines with the inferno of lust that rushes through his veins, creating a heady cocktail.

It's difficult to hear over the pounding of his heart, but the wet sucking sounds that fill the room manage to pervade the resounding beat in his ears. His muscles begin to tense, his body frantically seeking the sweet rush of release. The need to hold onto you prods him to reach down where your hand rests on his hip, his fingers interlacing with yours. His body is lost in a tsunami of pleasurable sensations, each second impossibly more intense than the one before.

His head falls back onto the pillow, his eyes clenched shut in ecstasy. Never has he felt this incredible, every nerve in his body straining towards you. His cock swells and he desperately tries to stop the inescapable wave that surges through him. When his balls tighten against his body, he knows it's too late to prolong the inevitable. _Shit, I'm gonna come._ Your speed increases and he tries to pull away from you, but you follow his movements with a soundof protest. You plant your lips around the base of his dick as he begins to pulsate.

 _What-_

It's all he has to time to think before his body begins to spasm under you. His mouth falls open at the potent bliss of his orgasm. You swallow convulsively around his cock, your throat working to down as much as you can of the ropy strands of ejaculate erupting from him.

"Oh, my _god_ ," he moans under his breath, the hand on your head now fisting in its long tresses, the other holding yours in a fierce grip.

Your mouth inches up his length before releasing him with a 'pop'. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as your gaze lifts to his. The light kiss on the inside of his arm alerts him to the fact he's still clutching your hair. _Shit!_ He promptly releases you, allowing you to move up to lay your head on his chest. Your hands remain entwined and you lift them to graze your lips across his knuckles.

"Are you alright?" you ask with an audible smile.

Saeran releases a breathless laugh, his chest still heaving with deep inhalations. He strokes your hair, his body limp with spent energy. "You're amazing," he claims, the drowsiness in his voice clear.

"Those are the endorphins talking," you retort in amusement.

"No," he rebukes, the seriousness in his tone causing you to lift your head to look up at him. "I mean it; I've believed that for years. Not many people could go through the shit you've gone through because of my actions and still have the ability to find anything remotely redeeming about me. And now...when you should be running for the door, you're here, loving me; fighting for an us that has the potential to put you in danger. If that's not amazing, then I don't know what is."

You shake your head once in denial. "Stop it," you scold. "You and Saeyoung give me too much credit. Anyone would have done what I've done for the people they love." Sitting up, you grab your discarded shirt and slip it over your head. "Now let's go eat, I'm starving."

Saeran scowls at you. "You didn't eat?"

"Shortly after you fell asleep I ate the snack you prepared; thank you by the way, but I wanted to wait for you before eating anything else. I bet you haven't eaten all day have you?"

"Not since this morning," he admits, a soft grunt escaping him when you poke his flat stomach.

"You're still too skinny! No more skipping meals!" Leaning down you give him a tender kiss and search his eyes. You appear to consider your words carefully before speaking again. "Saeran...the thing with Zen…"

"Don't," he warns quietly, his body tensing.

You hold up a finger, your bottom lip protruding in a pout. "Can I say just one thing?"

Saeran lets out a sigh, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. "You are going to be the death of me. Fine, _one_ thing." The silence stretches as you study him, your eyes darting between his. _She had something to say, didn't she?_ "Well?" he finally prods.

"Hold on, I'm trying to choose what to say. If I only get one thing I need to make it a good one, don't I?"

He chuckles. Grabbing your waist, he pulls you down onto the soft surface of the bed beside him and rolls over to hover above you. His mouth whispers over yours his teeth nipping lightly at your bottom lip. "First thing that pops into your head; go."

"He really is innocent in this," you voice, your tone gentle. "We're just friends, I swear."

Images of the two of you entangled on the ground, illuminated by the dim street light flash into his head. In his mind's eye he can see the actor's head on your shoulder and the expression on his face when he lifted it to gaze at you. He's not overreacting about this; he fully believes if he'd not shown up when he did, your so-called friend would have made his move.

"Technically that was two things," Saeran states, pretending to frown at you. Even the slightness of the smile you grace him with is enough to make his heart pick up in speed again. He wants to believe that Zen's intentions toward you are platonic. He wishes he could, but no matter how hard he tries he can't get past the adoration the older man gazes at you with. The backs of his fingers trail along your cheek, his expression softening back into tenderness.

"I'm sorry," you apologize with genuine regret. "I need you to know that you have nothing to worry about. Zen is my best friend, but he's more like a brother than anything."

"The way he looks at you is not one of brotherly love," Saeran asserts. "He wants you, MC. If you show him even the slightest opening, he's going to take it."

"He won't," you insist fervently. "And even if he tried, I would never betray you and Saeyoung that way."

Letting out a long sigh, he presses his forehead to yours. "I know that, but I don't think it's a good idea to encourage him."

"He understands the limitations of our friendship," you reassure, your hand rising to touch his face.

"I hope you're right because if he touches you again, things are not going to end very well for him."

"Saeran," you admonish, your brow furrowing. "That's-"

"Can we please stop talking about that man?" he snaps. Sitting up, he runs his hands through his unkempt hair.

"Sure, I-I'm sorry," you answer in a small voice and slip from the bed.

"Wait," Saeran calls out as you head for the bedroom door. "Please, wait." He gets up and wraps you in an embrace. "I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. It's only that we don't have a lot of time alone together and I don't want to waste a second of it."

"I understand," you answer, wrapping your arms around his waist. "I won't bring it up again."

"We'll revisit this," he promises, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. "Just not tonight, okay?" Pulling back, he places a finger under your chin to raise your face to his. He places a light kiss on each corner of your mouth before pressing his lips fully against yours. "Don't be angry with me," he pleads when you part, regretting his behavior.

"I'm not," you assure him, standing on your toes to give him another quick kiss. "It's my fault for bringing it up. You're right, we shouldn't be wasting any of our time together." Your smile eases his guilt, allowing him to return the bright one you bestow upon him. "Let's go find something trashy on tv and stuff ourselves. We've got five flavors of ice cream to taste test, after all."

"I should probably put my pants back on first," Saeran grins, realizing he's standing in the middle of the room still naked from the waist down.

"Oh, don't feel obligated on my account," you return, running your fingers along the curve of his bare ass and giving it a gentle squeeze.

The sudden desire to pleasure you overtakes any craving for sustenance. _Screw it, the food can wait._ Saeran suddenly lifts you against him, a loud squeal of surprised laughter escaping you. His fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as he moves the few steps it takes to press you against the wall. Your legs wrap around his waist, hands plunging into his hair as your mouth meets his halfway. The kiss is deep and thorough, your tongues moving together to explore every inch of the other's mouth.

It only takes a split second for him to make the decision to do everything in his power to keep you with him for the entire seven days you've been alloted. It borderlines on stupidity to do so, but he understands the risks. He convinces himself that he can win this battle with himself; he can find the key to controlling the ruthless man inside him.

A distant giggle teases his ears and his heart drops so fast a wave of nausea washes over him. _No. Not now._ He tears his mouth from yours, his breathing as ragged as yours. _Send her away; return her to Saeyoung. It's the only way to ensure her safety._ His gaze moves over your face, his chest tightening with panic. _I can't; I can't throw away this opportunity. Once my brother finds out about_ _ **him**_ _he will never allow her to be alone with me again. She's right, we have to keep this from him for at least this week._

"Are you alright?" you echo the question you asked earlier, though your tone is the complete opposite of the amusement before.

Saeran realizes he's staring at you blankly, completely lost in his thoughts. He gently allows you to slide down the hard surface behind you until your feet touch the floor. Once again, he forces a smile even as he feels the other man begin to push at the edges of his consciousness. He needs to quickly put some distance between you. Fear of what would happen if he were to suddenly switch provokes him to back away from you and retrieve his discarded clothing. "I'm fine," he finally answers, shoving his legs into the navy sweatpants. "Go ahead and start eating. I'm...just going to duck into the bathroom real quick."

He practically runs from the room, desperate to keep you safe. He rushes into the bathroom, swiftly closing and locking the door behind him. _You can't keep her away from me forever._ The amused voice in head taunts him mercilessly. _Especially after a performance like that._

Saeran's shocked face stares back at him from the mirror. His hands begin to shake as Unknown's words sink in. "You were... _watching_?"

 _Hmm, was I? Watching isn't entirely accurate;_ _ **participating**_ _is probably closer to the truth._

"You're lying. If you'd been there, I would have known."

 _There's a lot of things you don't know, Cherry Boy. How do you think a spineless coward like you even worked up the nerve to get her in the first place?_

Images begin to flash through Saeran's mind; snapshots of moments that have occured with you over the past couple of months. The angry outbursts and sometimes cruel things he's said play behind his eyes, the final image being one of him in the bunker's kitchen with you. The memory of licking chocolate from your slender finger is clear as day and he shakes his head in denial. "No! You were gone then. If you were there, I would have known," he repeats, though he's not sure who he is trying to convince at this point.

 _Ah, such a dense boy. Do you really think she'd be yours now if I had left everything up to you?_ Unknown giggles ominously. _I'll never be gone. No matter what you do or how hard you try, I will_ _ **always**_ _be here. Remember that, Cherry Boy, the next time you try to get into her pants._

"I will not let you ruin this for me," Saeran insists, pushing back against Unknown's attempts to gain control.

 _Let me out to play._

"Are you serious? Do you really think I would ever voluntarily let you anywhere near her?"

 _It is quite the predicament. In order to keep me away, you have to stay away yourself. How safe do you actually think you can keep her? You have to sleep sometime._

"If you hurt her again, I will make sure neither of us ever have access to her," Saeran's eyes search his own in the reflection. "Do you understand? I may not be able to keep you away from her, but my brother sure as hell can. Make no mistake, I would gladly die for her if I had to."

 _Are you threatening me?_

"Who's the dense one now? You're fucking right I'm threatening you. If you lay another finger on her, I _will_ find a way to make you disappear...permanently."

 _Do you think it will be that easy to get rid of me?_ Laughter booms in his ears, causing him to wince at its volume. _Alright, Cherry Boy, I'll behave...for now. But remember, you and I are a package deal. Tell MC I said hello and I'm looking forward to...speaking...with her again._

"Don't hold your breath," Saeran mutters in response, though he can already tell the other man has faded away to wherever he goes when not tormenting him.

There's a light knock on the door and you call out. "Saeran, I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but are you alright?"

He doesn't answer, his knuckles whitening with the strength of his grip on the sink in front of him. Fear for your well-being keeps him frozen in place. His eyes close as he focuses his attention within. He must ensure there is no more trace of the man whose intentions towards you is the only thing Saeran has been been truly afraid of in years.

"Saeran?" you call out again and it's not hard to detect the panic in your raised voice. The door knob jiggles, a fervent pounding following not a second later. "Open the door! I swear if you don't answer me-"

"I'm okay," he answers quickly, opening the door.

Your shoulders sag in relief, your damp eyes glaring at him in anger. "You can't do that! I heard you talking, then you wouldn't answer me and I was afraid-"  
For the second time, he interrupts your flow of words, pulling you into his arms. "You're right, I...I'm sorry." He buries his nose in your hair, holding you in a tight grip against his chest. "I'm sorry," he repeats, his eyes burning with threatening tears. _Please let me be strong enough to keep her protected._

"He's active again, isn't he?" you ask in a whisper, squeezing him close around the waist.

"He was," Saeran answers, pulling back to rest his hands on the sides of your neck. "I think I scared him away for now, but I don't know how long that will work."

"Then let's eat," you suggest. _She's not even fazed?_ You laugh at his surprised expression. "Well, worrying about it isn't going to change anything and I'm starving. For now, our plan remains the same."

"Except for the fact that if it had been him that opened the door, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now," he retorts, panic beginning to tighten his throat. "You would be pinned against the wall again or worse; you can't be careless like that."

"Okay, okay," you soothe. "From now on all doors stay open." He gives you a strange look and you laugh again. "It's not like I'm going to watch you pee, Saeran. Although, honestly, it's nothing I haven't seen before. I just need a way to observe you from a distance in case…"

"You're right," Saeran agrees, gaining some perspective as his anxiety lessens.

"I usually am," you tease, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Now can we please eat?"

He allows you to escape his hold and grab his hand. As he follows you from the suffocating space of the bathroom, he thinks he can hear a quiet tease of maniacal giggling. Alarm grips him but the grating sound is gone as quickly as it appeared. His heart races at the phantom sound of amusement. _It's just your imagination._ You throw a glance back at him over your shoulder and he prays he isn't wrong.

* * *

NOTE: After a lot of thought, I have decided to no longer update here on . I have been an author here since 2002 and nostalgia is what has kept me around as long as it has. This story will continue to be updated at AO3 where you can find me under the pen name Adriana_Morgan or by searching for my story's title. You do not need an account to read or to even comment. I sincerely hope those that have enjoyed this story will continue to read over there. If not, I understand. ^^ It's been a pleasure meeting and speaking with those of you I have chatted with via PM.


End file.
